Use This Tool To Help Everyone (And Make Sure They Help Themselves)

In a recent Life’s Messy Live Happy episode, Rachel from Greensboro, NC asked me a fantastic question I feel we can all relate to. I just happen to have a tool that can help her--and maybe many people reading--whenever this situation happens to you.

My stress level at work is beyond high. I’m bombarded with requests as soon as I arrive, and it continues throughout the day. I finally realized that I’m just one person and can only do one job at a time, but in healthcare, that unfortunately means a patient is not cared for as quickly as they would like.

How can I balance, prioritize, and empower others so I’m not in this position?

I’m glad you realize you’re only one person and you can only do one job at a time, but rather than setting boundaries, you’re stepping down and then blaming everybody else for mobbing you as you walk in the door. This is really about you--and that’s good news--because this is solvable.

First, realize that somebody’s request is not your demand. Stepping up and leading is different from always being available. I want you to step up and lead in a way that sets microboundaries. A lot of people ask me, “What can I do to get other people to change,” or “How can I change my job?” I’m here to tell you that it’s not about changing others as much as it’s about changing the way you interact with others.

When people come to you, I want you to be able to say, “Yes, I would love to help you,” but then I want you to step up and lead and let people know how you’re going to do that.

When someone asks something of you before as you arrive, say, “Great to see you. I love that you reached out to me for that! Here’s what would work best for me,” and then use one of the following:

• Would you meet me in my office in 15 minutes?
• Follow me to the lounge and let’s connect.
• Can you summarize your ideas in an email?
• Can you go to the whiteboard outside my office and write your name, your questions, and request a time to talk? That way I can be prepared.

Start by saying, “I’m here for you,” and then step up and lead by adding, “Here’s how to get the best from me.”

Another technique is to wean people off of you. You may have thought your only choices are saying yes and doing it immediately or saying no and being unhelpful...but that’s not true! I compliment anybody who comes to me, and then I help identify where people need to grow so they can do this on their own and be more independent.

I actually have a great tool that helps teach your team a way to process their own work--it’s called the SBAR.

When people say, “Hey, do you have a minute,” I respond with, “Do you have an SBAR?” I expect that after I’ve taught them this tool they will come to me with their SBAR so I can coach them properly.

SBAR is an acronym, and here’s what it means:

• S = Situation. I need the person to identify, in one true, drama-free sentence, what the issue is.
• B = Background. This is 2-3 sentences of only the facts and history that applies to what we’re trying to solve.
• A = Analysis or Assessment. This is the “Why does the issue matter?” section. It should also include fact-checking so you know what’s real and what’s a story.
• R = Recommendations (yes, that’s plural). If you come to me with just what needs to be done, that’s your opinion, your request, your demand. Come to me with ideas of all the things you could do and I’ll know you’re being mentally flexible and thinking your way through the problem. It shows you’ve got resilience.

Once the SBAR is done, we correct it, add to it, and send people out to do great things.

The beautiful thing about an SBAR is that the more you have people do their own work, the more they grow. The more you translate your thinking through feedback, the more you’ve downloaded your consciousness. Step up. thank them for coming, and teach them how to be more self-sufficient.

Have a question for me? Submit it here, and make sure you’re following me across social media at @CyWakeman!