Use This Powerful Question
Anna Nielsen
Founder, Conflict Capable Solutions | Your Partner in Building Conflict-resilient Workplaces
One of the Conflict Capable Leadership Pillars is “Be curious.” That’s a broad statement, and it can take many forms. Often, when someone approaches you to start a hard conversation, you feel anxiety swell in your body, and either freeze or react too quickly.
Sometimes, you start a fact-finding mission to determine the finite details of the situation. If someone is taking a strong position such as, “I can’t work with them anymore!” it’s easy to fall prey to the trap of being stuck in talking about their strong statement, instead of what’s motivating them.
In these moments, it’s crucial to create momentum.
You can move the conversation forward with one powerful question: “What happened?”
This question is valuable because it demonstrates your curiosity, shows the person that you believe their frustrations are valid, and helps you get answers to questions you didn’t know to ask.
It helps you to move beyond their premature solution, “I can’t work with them anymore!” and begins to uncover what matters to them. Are they needing recognition for their hard work? Are they needing resources they don’t have? Do they need assistance with talking things out with the other person?
You can uncover all these things by asking, “What happened?”
In the process, you’re building trust, and creating momentum.
Give it a try!
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Mastering Awkward Talks: Because Avoiding Them is So 2024
Tuesday, February 25, 2025 10 AM ET / ?9 AM CT
We’ve all been there: that moment when the conversation takes a turn for the awkward, and suddenly, we wish we could hit the “escape” button. Whether it’s addressing a tough topic with a colleague or navigating a tricky conversation with a client, we know the feeling. But avoiding difficult conversations is so 2024. It’s time to confront them head-on, and we’re here to help you do just that.
In this upcoming Lakeside Chat: “Mastering Awkward Talks: Because Avoiding Them is So 2024,” we’ll discuss handling those uncomfortable moments like a pro.