Use it or Lose it

The title suggests something about making best use of your skills. Yes, of course you should, but that’s not what this title about. It’s also not about using or being with something while you have it available to you. Like a parent. Or your knees. You’ll miss both of these then they’re gone (I am classifying knees as one thing there). So do spend time with them. Have fun with them. Enjoy them. Your parents and your knees, I mean.

There is a game we play at home called Coppit. It was a childhood board game which I took from my parental home and now enjoy with my children. The rules are that you go around the board trying to ‘cop’ your opponents by landing on them before racing back to your ‘home’ where you deposit your prisoners.

In life there’s a fair bit of copping that goes one. We humans run around on our way to get somewhere in a hurry. And, despite our positive intent around the thing we’re rushing for, we can bowl others out of the way. Metaphorically anyway. Humans can negatively impact others during their mission.

Back to my title. Use it or lose it. The message here is to lose the negatives. In the main this means avoiding them. It can also mean stopping them – well, dropping them – so they can’t infect you with negativity.

This is easier said than done. We have family, friends, acquaintances, and colleagues who can all be a bit negative from time to time. So you need to do a little inspection. Then some pruning. But wait. Before you pick up the phone and tell your work colleague she’s a negative-Nancy or the other dad at playground pick up that he’s a depressive-Duncan and you never want to see either again, let’s cast that net a little wider.

Take a look around you. No! Not literally. Do a double tap. Do a swipe up. Or whatever the phrase is to see all open apps on Android and iPhone. Hop over to IG and FB. You know – the app you go to for the ‘news’. Take a gander through and see whether, on balance, you’re getting ‘news’ that makes you feel good or ‘news’ that makes you feel a bit shit?

Now it’s time for my own confession – I can get overly absorbed with the news. I used to think it was a good thing. I would be ‘in the know’ about stuff. And this would make me more learned and have better things to say. I started finding more fascination in the bad news. One example was the 2007/8 crash where I would go to the business news everyday looking for another company go into administration. It was shocking. I noticed it happening to me recently – hence my hiatus from blogs. Covid turned up and I got fixated and all absorbed with the news again.

The news (generally) is sensationalist. Sensationalism sells. It sucks us in and gets us all excited – but in a negative way. It’s like an apocalyptic movie – but without the hero or the happy ending.

I will caveat this slightly. A bit of current affairs news, to keep you in the know, is no bad thing.

Go through your feed and start muting a few people – the negatives – and get them from your eyes and ears. Apply this for the next week. No. Make it a fortnight. Do the same with the news. Remove the news app or switch off the ‘breaking news’ alert. Make it a little less available.

After your two weeks see how it feels. Has more positively come your way thanks to the removal of negative fog?

Now you can use the positivity. It may not appear suddenly. Those better nights’ sleep. The greater creativity. That mental and physical energy. But it will appear. And positivity breeds more positivity. As you shine – so will others because of you.

WithOutLimit is a Career and Life Coaching Service. Created in Royal Berkshire, UK. Digitally delivered to the world.

PS. To all Nancy’s and Duncan’s – I had to use a name….and yours just happened. No offence intended ??