Us vs. Them: The Surprising Link Between Immunity, Boundaries, and Crafting a New Story

We’re all thinking about our immune system right now. 

Sure, we know the obvious: Vitamin C, Zinc, Counter Attack (my fav), and plenty of sleep. 

But what if there’s a deeper lesson here for all of us? 

As a strategic messaging firm, we obsess over the role that stories play in shaping meaning, perception, and identity. Classical storytelling is all about us vs them. Friend or foe. Threat identification assessment. As I describe in chapter 3 of my new book Story 10x, there is a new kind of storytelling that goes beyond hero, victim, villain.  

Especially during this time of disruption, we need a new type of story--and the immune system can take us there. Perhaps the following musing can help support how we lead, sustain our health, and maintain faith in the future. 

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Several years ago, I suffered from Lyme disease. Bitten by a tick, I was so sick that I could barely walk. My days were lost in a brain fog, and I was weeks away from going on disability. I wrote and shared about this vulnerably at the time. I struggled through a complex auto-immune disorder. And it took me 3+ years to fully recover. 

Along the way, I explored many perspectives to help me understand how to heal and recover. I’ll never forget the day I discovered the following: 

“The immune system is the boundary between the self and the not self.”

Take that in for a moment. Re-read it if you can. This is more than just a philosophical musing. This is biology. The immune system is literally the physical boundary: built to assess friend vs. foe. To identify that which is not you -- anything that is considered a foreign threat to your health -- and to rapidly neutralize it. We owe our lives and resilience to our immune system. 

I learned that when we experience an auto-immune condition, it means our body gets confused as to what is us vs not us. We start attacking our own body. It’s all about healthy boundaries. 

I discovered all this in the book Faith, Madness, And Spontaneous Human Combustion: What Immunology Can Teach Us About Self-Perception written by the scientist and poet, Gerald N. Callahan. Our modern society has experienced a rising epidemic of autoimmune disorders. Low thyroid, chronic fatigue, Lyme disease…to name a few. 

This is where it gets fascinating: it’s estimated that women experience auto-immune issues 5x more often than men. There are many influences at play, including traditional gender roles that encourage women to be caretakers and nurturers. Yet human biology provides the most dramatic evidence: the onset of auto-immune issues in women often occurs after pregnancy and delivery of a first child. The great miracle of birth comes after women have tolerated a foreign being inside their body for 9 months. The challenge becomes how to reset the boundary between self vs not self (or so I read!). Kind of wild, right?

And now here comes COVID-19. While it’s not an auto-immune disease per say, evidence shows that those most severely affected are either (1) auto-immune compromised, or (2) ordinarily healthy but somehow experience a cytokine storm in response to the virus. A cytokine storm is where the immune system gets confused and starts attacking healthy cells in the body in addition to the foreign pathogens. Which is why I think the metaphor might still prove useful.

Establishing healthy boundaries was the secret to my journey back to health. It’s how I recovered from Lyme and my auto-immune challenges. I used to live my life operating at 110%. And when I got sick, I could barely operate at 10%. You do the math--I had to start saying no to 90%+ of my life. I had to get really clear on where I wanted to give my attention. 

A new story is really just a redefinition of boundaries

I think this discernment is a muscle we all want and need to develop. It’s perhaps the gift and invitation that comes with the immense suffering, disruption, and uncertainty we all face.

It’s also the secret to a healthy immune system. 

• Where can you create healthier boundaries?
• How can you be open/receptive to the new, while being clear/firm what’s not yours? 
• Where can you make peace with what’s not yours, in service to the whole?

In my experience, getting clear on your boundaries is one of the most powerful tools you have in this moment. There is so much we don’t and can’t control right now, but your boundaries are yours to calibrate. This can be done compassionately, rather than in a violent manner. And the best new stories are a celebration of life and what’s possible. 

Does this resonate with you? Affirm the positive, while redefining your own internal story. When you no longer feel you have to do x, take care of y, or sacrifice for z, it’s likely you’ll discover the power of inner sovereignty. It’s from this place that we can each make the biggest impact of service and contribution to others. 

What’s been your experience?

I know it’s a bit more philosophical than some of my other writings. Yet, these times are not just about the immediate practical action. They’re also about contemplation, reassessment, and regeneration. Would love to hear what resonates for you? And if this topic of the immune system, biology, and the stories we tell is of further interest. 

Let us know in the comments. We’d love to hear from you! 

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