About Us Humans

Coaching works well because of some foundational truths about us humans.?

1. We each have a powerful source of wisdom and guidance within. In Playing Big, I wrote, “There is a voice in each of us that is unburdened by fear and untouched by insecurity, that has utter calm, that emanates love for oneself and others, and that knows exactly who we would be if we were brave enough to show up as our true selves.” This is true for every one of us. But the tricky part about being human is that we are – most of the time – disconnected from that source of inner wisdom. Fears, self-doubt, external stressors, other people’s voices, our own wounds, and simply our lack of slowing down to tap into that wisdom all keep us from staying connected. Coaching is about using the power of relationship, and a special kind of focused dialogue, to reconnect people to their inner wisdom.

2. We need time and space to process our lives. Life moves fast. Not just because we are busier and more inundated with information than ever, but because life keeps, well, life-ing at us! In that fast stream of motion and experience, we often end up responding out of our patterns rather than our values. Difficult interactions leave us with feelings of resentments or hurt. We turn our attention to one direction, and neglect other parts of our lives that also need our care.?

When we pause, and come to a coaching session to reflect or reset, we turn our attention to these inner accumulations. We can look to that neglected area of life and pick it up again. We can unpack a resentment and explore with intention how to get to the other side of it, so we don’t carry it around. We can answer big questions that we often don’t have time to consider: What do I want? Who am I now? What’s no longer working? What would be amazing??

3. Our human minds and hearts are extremely responsive to conditions – the prompts and energies around them – and we can therefore change our perspective, mood, or thinking around a subject simply because of the questions or energies we are met with. I often think about how the most dangerous thing about us humans is also the most hopeful thing about us humans, and it is this: we human beings are very susceptible to ideas. We can harm ourselves and others out of the ideas we believe. Or we can make positive change out of the ideas we believe. In a coaching context, we use our human susceptibility to ideas for the good. We tell the mind – go toward possibility, consider what would feel whole and true, name your values, find your way to be of service, and more.?

4. We can shift readily and quickly. This often comes as a surprise to people who are new to a coaching approach. In coaching, we don’t go into a lot of story or background around a problem before working to move the energy/stance of the client around it. A coaching conversation might go on for thirty minutes, but powerful coaching conversations can be had with team members, advisees, clients in ~5 minutes. The right tool or imagery or question can entirely shift a perspective or stance on a topic. It’s amazing to see how this can work! And, good news: this means coaching moments can be woven into busy workplaces and lives.

These are four of the core ideas about human beings that underlie my approach to coaching. Which one is speaking most to you today? What happens if you carry it with you, and begin to explore it more?

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