The Upside of Failure

" We can complain that rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses" - Abraham Lincoln

A wise man while teaching his disciple questions him.  “Two men go down a chimney at the same time. One comes out completely clean, the other one dirty. Which one goes to wash himself?” The disciple looks at the wise man, thinks for a minute, then says: “the dirty one.” The wise man hits him on the head with his stick.  “Not at all!” He shouted. “Then?” asked the disciple rubbing his head. “The dirty one, looking at his clean friend, thinks he is clean as well. The clean one, seeing that his friend is so dirty, concludes that he must be dirty as well and goes to wash.”

“Let me ask you another question” says the Wise man. “Two men go down a chimney at the same time. One gets to the bottom completely clean, the other one dirty. Which one goes to wash himself?” The disciple holding his head to avoid the teacher’s stick looks at the wise teacher, totally puzzled: “You just told me! The clean one!” “Not at all!” replies the wise man . “The two men look at themselves, and the dirty one goes to wash.” He gets another whack!

“Now one more question” says the wise man . “Two men go down a chim-ney at the same time. One gets to the bot-tom com-pletely clean, the other one dirty. Which one goes to wash himself?” The dis-ci-ple is lost: “I do not know, depend-ing on your point of view, either or?” “Of course not!” says the wise man chuckling now , “how can two men go down a chim-ney at the same time and only one of them remain clean? They are both dirty and go to wash themselves!”

 Perspective. The lens with which you view the world. It is what shapes your view of the external. It is the lens you see your surroundings with. It is what shapes your opinions and perceptions of what is happening around you and your reactions to it.

For me perspective is the quintessential reason why we look at things the way we do. This time round I want to evaluate how we see failure in the same light.

Failure. The Oxford dictionary definition of failure is “lack of success “or the “neglect or omission of expected or required action”. Failure in essence is to many the opposite of success.

I feel differently. For me, the antonym to success is not failure, but incredible learning. You never really fail if you really think about it. You just find new paths to your eventual destination of becoming more. The mastery of yourself.

Our perceptions of failure is that it is something to be avoided at all costs. It is an event no one looks forward to. Once it happens, our reactions are either one of becoming discouraged or one of regret .  We just want to blame something for the happening, why not ourselves?  This for me, is where the real mastery of self lies. Our reaction to failure.

Many times we put so much effort in achieving our goals successfully, that we miss the entire point of the experience or the journey in getting there. As I outlined in "six degrees of happiness", happiness is not an end but a means to an end.

To add to this, success is not an end. Neither is failure. They are your companions in the journey to understanding yourself. The eventual purpose is mastering yourself to showcase your best self. The good news? This self only gets better the more you work at it, come failure or success.

Failure and success play their respective roles to shape you for your greater purpose. Once you start becoming comfortable with both, your perspective becomes enlarged and you do not fall into the mindset of a restricted mind. The enlarged mind is the great mind. The one that attracts character, nobility and activates progress. No matter what, this mind set is on a focused mission of an ever expanding life. Despite circumstances.

And this is perspective. Perspective is all about how you see the same thing in different ways.

Now I cannot say that I have not failed in life. No one can say that for that matter. However, I can say that I view these events differently. I cannot control the circumstances but I can control my reaction to it.

• You learn Bigger lessons with failure than success can ever teach you

Failing makes us humble and brings perspective back into the flow. The mind over exaggerates the negatives and makes a cloudy view on the positives. We should take these moments as plateaus where you reassess where you are going and the specific actions that led to this. It is time given to reflect, readjust “the sails” and move on again. It also strengthens your inner calling which tells you where you truly belong.

Failure makes us better people and after we forgive ourselves and accept what has happened, we open ourselves to grand opportunity for personal improvement and advancement.

• You are navigated to a better and less travelled route

 There is nothing wrong with failing and there are countless examples of rejections in every one’s life. Thomas Edison took 10,000 attempts before finally cracking the code for his invention. During the rejection phase, he simply got back up and perfected his art. The failed attempts pushed him to find better ways to work at his craft. Listen to these hints. They are blessings which know you are meant for a greater purpose. It is only guiding you there.

• If you fall 7 times, Stand up 8 times

The real failure is in not trying again. It does not mean that you have not done your best. The real deal is in trying once again. It is in bringing in all your courage, strength and determination to stand up. Focus again. And move on. How many times might you have fallen before you learnt to walk?  For me, real failure is when you don’t get up to face the challenge. Failing has nothing to do with your own talents or is a reflection of what you are capable of.  What you do after it, cements the depths of your capabilities.

• You have not missed the boat.

Failure does not mean you get crippled and think the opportunity will not come again. Fear of rejection is feared by us all. Think of it only as a number. Nothing more. Very soon, the “No” will become “Yes” or the “Eureka” moment will arrive. Risk more. Fear less. Just keep moving. The Universe is abundant with opportunity. Another boat will come and you will be well on your way again. Keep faith.

Hardship bestows wisdom and every success is given more flavor with every encountered failure. Everyone experiences rejection but your reaction to it, determines who you really are within. Opening yourself to the world of possibilities is much more important than to restrain yourself to a constricted viewpoint which is safe and common.

Feeling rejected or not achieving a goal has nothing to do with how capable you are within. You are as special as anyone else out there. It is human to feel let down, but it takes true grit to get back on the road again. Failing in essence, is an opportunity to begin again more wisely and intelligently.

Do not chase success. Make it come to you. Failure is a good thing as it catapults you to higher grounds of learning and wisdom.

If you have gotten this far, surely you will go to more places. Pat yourself for the journey so far. Live with the faith that all aspirations are possible with sheer determination and unwavering faith within. All you need to do, is simply keep moving.