Upkeep
Upkeep. Or should I say, keep up. And what I mean is, level up. This keeps coming up for me in meditation. Keep the circle small. Not out of fear. Not out of lack of love. But because many aren't wanting to improve their life. They are not bringing an energy that is going to advance everyone.
With with tremendous loss of life that I have experienced lately, I have become keenly aware of the value of time. I'm used to dealing with death...given my profession. But both my wife and I have lost just about everyone in our lives. Parents, siblings, extended family members, friends and our beloved daughter. I mean, the slate is almost entirely clear. So here we are. Aware and making full use of the time that is available to us.
My wife has been disabled for about 10 years now. Sure she can walk again and fend for herself. But her pain is an ongoing battle. {The strongest person I know.} So when I closed my circle, it was done out of freedom. The freedom of selecting people that could improve upon my peace. Because I am a storm of calmness. I do not fold. The most laid back person you would ever meet. And that is because I don't invite unnecessary drama into my life.
I've cut some people out. I've cut some people off. Some, I will circle back to...if they'll have me. But at the end of that day, it is me that I live with with. Spending my entire life serving communities and populations that are undeserved, I am entitled to be selfish. And if I am being truthful, I don't care who it offends. Some dance partners are not meant for life.
Here we are. I'm doing the up keep thing. Does your circle need some attending to? It doesn't make you a bad person to want what is best for you. Not if you require a little space for personal and spiritual maintenance. And believe me. The people who belong in your life will not have a problem with this. Only those who no longer get to take advantage of you will. So keep up...with your upkeep.