An Update on Resilience

For 22 years now, I have delivered my Seminar on Resilience. It has evolved over that time, but the fundamental message has remained the same.

The seminar was born in a moment of spontaneity. I was invited to deliver a Seminar on Work/Life Balance at a Telstra office in Melbourne. I had arrived early and was in the room setting up and preparing my overhead transparencies when some participant began to file in. They were about 15 minutes early.

I asked them how things were going at their office and they responded with resounding negativity. I asked what was wrong with their situation and was told that Telstra would not grant them a redundancy package. When I asked if their section was closing, they told me it wasn’t. So, I inquired further. “Why do you feel you should receive a redundancy?” The response was that Telstra were giving out redundancies in other areas, and since they had given so much service, they should be entitled to one too.

To say I was gobsmacked would be understating my response. So, I quietly walked to the front of the room, put away my materials and simply decided to talk to them about life, from my heart. And my resilience seminar was born.

The next day I received some emails from the group thanking me for the session, three of them telling me they had decided to resign and go find a career they loved. Within a week, over 20 more Telstra sites had made contact to book me in to deliver my seminar. It was a busy time.

I guess the fundamental message that comes through the seminars is that resilience requires objectivity in the way we view things, whether it be people, events or situations. Our responses do not come from the “thing”, they come from how we are viewing it.

If we see something as terrible, then we are likely to experience fear and reactivity. The emotions we experience will arise form there. But if we chose to view it as amazing or fascinating then our responses will be curiosity and interest.

And I guess, if we want to find solutions to challenges and problems, it is good to start with curiosity and interest.

Throughout my seminar, I never really mention any of this. It is a place one arrives at, not an intellectual lesson but an experiential knowing.

Through the journey we explore how human beings lose their resilience when they live in a state of wealth and abundance, in a place where they never feel their survival is threatened. In such times, people’s focus of attention is never on survival and mostly directed to their comfort, both physical comfort and social status comfort.

When times get tough, and survival is threatened, things change. Comfort is lost, and this could mean physical survival or the survival of our ego (status). The response is fear based and creates stress.

The realisation that people have is that they can choose their response. See the situation for what it is. If it hasn’t taken your life, and you are not in immediate danger, then things are ok. You can stop and look again and find a perspective that will allow you to learn from the situation and grow as a person, and maybe even render assistance to others.

When fear rules, it becomes every person for themselves. We saw that with the desperation of the bulk buying of essentials from supermarkets. It is not a state of mind that makes one useful to others. A person becomes like the drowning swimmer who tries to climb on top of the lifesaver in deep water. (I worked as a Professional Surf Lifeguard for 4 years and know what that is like).

So, if you sat through my Resilience Seminar, and I managed to keep you engaged, you should be in a good place right now, and probably very able to help others. Good for you. These times are tough, but nowhere close to what people in war zones face on a daily basis.

Let’s help as many people as we can. And if there is nothing immediately obvious that you can do, just be kind.

Thank you

Note: Telstra is Australia's major Telephone Carrier. They have always been a leader in Workplace Wellness.

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