Unwilling Sponsorships: The Hidden Weapon that Service Members Can Use Against Their Spouses and how to Counter It

Ethan Samuels (Former Naval Intelligence Officer, U.S. Navy), Financial Advisor, Pacific Advisors, [email protected], (818)-571-2363, authored this article.

Last week, I found out that my dear friend and client, who shall be known as Jane Doe to respect her privacy, is in the process of divorcing her United States Marine Corps husband.? Jane’s husband, a Prior Enlisted First Lieutenant in the Marine Corps, fraternized with an enlisted female Marine in his unit in an adulterous affair while on deployment.

Jane and her husband were married in 2015, when the husband was an E3, a Lance Corporal, desperate for a way out of the barracks.? Jane had known her eventual husband since high school, and had in fact, been his high school crush.? Jane had also, in the years since high school, undergone some very serious surgery, with a need for more.? Jane’s husband persuaded her that in addition to the family that they would build together, their marriage would get him out of the barracks and get her onto Tricare so that she could have access to health insurance as a military spouse.

Jane, like many military spouses, is a brilliant and devoted woman who embraced her role as the CEO of the household.? Despite being an accomplished musician, a polyglot, and a child prodigy herself, she subsumed her ambitions to support her husband’s military career, especially as she gave birth to two children, a son and a daughter.? Their son is now 6 years old, reading and doing math at a college level.? The daughter is nearly 5 years old and on the autism spectrum, and nonverbal.? Despite her health issues, Jane assumed the primary responsibility for the children’s education and their care and ran the household while her husband focused on advancing his career, and as it turns out, his enlisted female subordinate.

Jane’s husband’s unit, an MI-22 OSPREY Squadron, is undermanned and depends on her husband’s skills as a mechanic.? For this reason, the chain of command took various steps to shield the husband from the consequences of this behavior, including sending him on a ship to prevent him from being served divorce papers.

However, eventually, the affair was made known, and the husband was court martialed, being reduced in rank from O2 to E7, revoking his commission, and rendering him a Gunnery Sergeant.? The husband moved out of the home he shared with Jane and started cohabiting with his enlisted subordinate.? As Jane Doe and her husband have proceeded with their divorce, the husband has been withholding funds and neglecting his responsibility to their children.? However, as his rank has been reduced, so are his military base pay and his basic allowance for housing.? Despite a history of neglect of his children, the husband has pressed Jane for primary custody of them.? His current Basic Allowance for Housing payment is predicated on his being a father with dependent children.

If Jane wins primary custody, he will lose the ability to claim the children as dependents and will have a diminished Basic Allowance for Housing.? A month ago, while Jane’s husband dropped off the children at Jane’s home, he confiscated her Military Dependent ID out of her wallet.? When she asked him if he knew where her ID was, he claimed that she must have just misplaced it.? He refused to sign the necessary Application as her sponsor at his base’s Pass and ID office, rendering it impossible for her to enter any military base.? In addition to removing her access to the Navy Exchange and Commissary, this also rendered her unable to take their children to base medical facilities.? She herself still requires ongoing medical treatment that she cannot get.? The outpatient facility providing the treatment informed her that they cannot resume her treatment without proof of her insurance coverage in the form of her military ID.? Despite numerous attempts to visit Pass and ID and obtain a new ID, the office informed her that without a signature from her sponsor, in her case, her husband, she could not be given a new military ID.? The husband told Jane that he would only sign as her sponsor if she would agree to grant him more custody of the children.? The husband managed to prevent Jane from accessing Pass and ID from any other military base within a 22-mile radius of her home.

When I found out about this, I reached out to the Pass and ID office at Port Hueneme and was told the same thing.? I reached out to my contacts among the ranks of O-6 and Flag-Level Officers and asked them if there was any recourse.? They were all as appalled as you probably are reading this.? They informed me that this behavior is unconscionable and illegal.? A married service member is not allowed to revoke his or her spouse’s military ID, or otherwise restrict access to benefits and services to which they are legally entitled as a military spouse.? One retired Admiral advised me to let the husband’s command know that this is going on and that if this is not rectified posthaste, there would be a call placed to a local Member of Congress to launch an Inspector General and/or Congressional Inquiry of the command.

A retired Commodore at Naval Construction Group One out of Port Hueneme also recommended that I reach out to the DEERS office at Port Hueneme, which I did.? The manager there informed me that this behavior is not uncommon at all, but that Jane has some recourse.? If I could get her to the DEERS office on base, the DEERS office would print out a 30-day “Military Dependent with an UNWILLING SPONSOR” ID card.? This would afford her unfettered access for this 30-day period and trigger a warning to the husband’s chain of command to let the husband know that he must sign the sponsorship section of her application for a permanent ID within these 30 days.? Failure to do this would require the command to bring further charges against the husband and would result in DEERS automatically granting Jane a new 4-year military ID pass.

Jane can now enter and exit any military base at will and get the treatment she needs.? Further delays might have cost her life.? There are unfortunately many Jane Doe’s who are in similar situations.? The divorce rate is over 50% nationwide and substantially higher among the ranks of the current and former Armed Service Members.? Emotions run high and attempts to deny a spouse base access are far too common a tactic.? I tell this story to let any other Jane or John Doe out there that this behavior is not only illegal and unacceptable, but you can protect yourself.? Your chain of command will not sanction this behavior.? Your Local DEERS Office can issue you this ID.? The designation of Unwilling Sponsor triggers an immediate disclosure to the chain of command, putting this chain of command on notice that one if the command’s members is engaged in this behavior.? If the command does not put a stop to it, not only with the member’s spouse be provided access anyway, but the command’s failure to stop this behavior will trigger an IG and/or a congressional inquiry.

If you feel that you have been a victim of these types of concerns, feel free to reach out privately at [email protected], [email protected], or share your story in the comments.

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