The Unwanted Zoom Reaction: A Lesson in Communication and Control

Have you ever been in a Zoom meeting when, out of nowhere, an animated thumbs-up or balloon explosion pops up on your screen? You didn’t click anything. You didn’t react on purpose. And yet, there it is—your screen expressing something you never intended.

It’s frustrating. It’s distracting. And more importantly, it’s out of your control.

Welcome to the modern workplace, where even your facial expressions can trigger an automated response, and where the way you present yourself isn’t always the way others perceive you.

This experience—of Zoom reactions happening without your consent—isn’t just an annoying tech quirk. It’s also a perfect metaphor for the unpredictability of human communication.

You Control Your Message, But Not Its Reception

One of the hardest lessons in leadership and interpersonal communication is this: you can control what you say, but you can’t control how it’s received.

Just like Zoom’s algorithm picks up on a raised hand or an eyebrow lift and turns it into an unintended reaction, people filter what you say through their own experiences, emotions, and assumptions.

• You think you're giving constructive feedback; they hear criticism.
• You intend to be lighthearted; they perceive you as dismissive.
• You try to inspire confidence; they feel pressured.

No matter how carefully you craft your message, there’s always the risk that someone will interpret it in a way you didn’t intend.

The Frustration of Misinterpretation

This lack of control can be deeply frustrating, especially for leaders, managers, and anyone whose job relies on clear communication. You want to be understood exactly as you meant to be, but just like an accidental Zoom reaction, external factors get in the way:

• Their past experiences shape how they hear you.
• Their stress level dictates their emotional response.
• Their biases—conscious or unconscious—color the meaning they assign to your words.

Sometimes the root cause is because we really are sending a mixed message. This happens when our words don't match our energy.

The reality is, communication doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It happens in a dynamic space where meaning is co-created between the speaker and the listener.

So, What Can You Do?

If we accept that we can’t fully control how others perceive us, what’s the solution?

1. Seek clarity, not perfection. You’ll never be able to guarantee that your words are received exactly as you intended, but you can ask follow-up questions, check for understanding, and create space for feedback.
2. Adapt to the moment. Just like you have to laugh off an unintended Zoom reaction, you have to adjust when communication goes sideways. Instead of getting frustrated, get curious: Why did they interpret it that way? What context am I missing?
3. Own your intent, but acknowledge their reality. If someone reacts in a way you didn’t expect, don’t dismiss their response. Instead, say something like, “That wasn’t my intention. Can you please tell me more about how that came across to you?” This builds trust and allows for real dialogue. Plus, you have a moment to check and see if your own internal dialogue wasn't matching your words.
4. Remember: Meaning is a shared experience. You don’t just “send” a message—you co-create meaning with others. If an unexpected reaction occurs, view it as an opportunity to refine, not as a failure.

Let Go of the Illusion of Total Control

At the end of the day, whether in Zoom meetings or real-life conversations, we can’t always control how we are perceived. But we can practice self-awareness, stay adaptable, and stay open and engaged.

Because just like Zoom reactions, misinterpretations will happen. It’s how we handle them that truly defines us.

How do you handle unexpected reactions?