Unveiling the Essence of Flourishing

“We have a purpose in this world, something that, without us, would remain undone. Just as a plant needs sunlight to flourish, our world needs us to flourish.”

― Dele Ola, Pursuit of Personal Leadership: Practical Principles of Personal Achievement?

Although my usual way of proceeding is to begin with the problem behavior and then work up logically towards the goal behavior. However,?in this case, I believe that both I and you, the reader, will profit more from the advice of Stephen Covey: “Begin with the end in mind.” The exercise that he uses in his book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People is the following:?

Stop everything you are doing and visualize attending a funeral five years from now. So do it. Start imagining in your mind the following scene. As you drive to the funeral home you encounter many of your friends and family members and you can perceive their grief, the sad expression on their faces, and the slow pace of someone who has lost a friend. As you walk down the aisle, reach the coffin, and look inside you are shocked to see yourself – it is your funeral.?

As you take a seat and look at the program you find that there will be four speakers, one is a family member, another is a good friend, the third is a colleague from work and the last speaker is from your church or community.?

Now take a few moments to meditate on what you would like each speaker to say about you. What would they say about you as a husband, wife, father, or mother? What type of friend were you and what special experiences did you share? What type of worker were you and how did behave towards your associates? What type of character would they describe, what impact did you have on their lives, what achievements did you accomplish, and what type of difference would you have liked to have made in their lives? Now take a personal inventory. Did you accomplish all that you wanted??

Were you happy? Did you make a difference in the world, or at least in the small world in which we live our lives? Did you grow as an individual? Did you love those in your family and did you let them know that you loved them? How is the world a better place for those who knew you because you used your abilities and talents to grow personally and nurture the growth of others?

The next five years will pass in a hurry and I hope that you will have many more, but if there are things that you need to change in your life, today is the day to begin transforming your life. If you feel stuck, stagnating, and somewhat depressed you have to make certain decisions today to change.?

This is because the stagnation will not pass unless you do something to modify your behaviors. You must start living your life your life so that you can grow and flourish. Not only will you find abundant personal happiness and well-being but you can increase your ability to achieve your goals, better your relationships, and become the person that you truly desire to be. It all starts today, and it starts by putting into practice the suggestions and exercises written in this book.?

So, I am beginning with what it means to flourish, to bloom as a flower, to use your creativity to better the world, and to find joy in your relationships. This is the result of the transformation that you are just beginning today. This is your goal.

What does it mean to Flourish?

Picture your ideal life. You might imagine having a wide network of friends or a few close relationships. You probably picture yourself as being happy and healthy. Feeling good about yourself, being involved in a community (religious or otherwise), and adhering to values you deem important might also be key aspects of your ideal life. This picture in your mind of an ideal life also represents a flourishing life. Flourishing is a broad concept that reflects a holistic perspective on living a happy or ‘good’ life. Flourishing encompasses many feelings, activities, and thoughts that make people happy and whole.

The dictionary defines flourishing as “developing rapidly and successfully; thriving.” I appreciate how broad this definition of the word is, creating openness for interpretation based on what success and development mean to each individual. Dr.

Martin Seligman, the father of Positive Psychology, defines it a bit more specifically:

To flourish is to find fulfillment in our lives, accomplishing meaningful and worthwhile tasks, and connecting with others at a deeper level—in essence, living the “good life.”?

This is different from happiness which fluctuates daily and hourly in a normally functioning human. Instead, we should be reaching for "well-being" and a state of “flourishing,” to find lasting contentment.

?In a state of flourishing, we have energy. We also have confidence in our ability to control and improve our mental well-being. We are not panicked by the challenges and setbacks of life. Instead, we use tools and psychological resources to understand and act on our well-being.

Flourishing is one of the most important and promising topics studied in positive psychology. Not only does it relate to many other positive concepts, but it also holds the key to improving the quality of life for people around the world.?

We can probably agree that a plant that is healthy and blooming can be said to “flourish,” and that a business that is booming and raking in record profit is “flourishing.” But what does it mean for a human being to flourish?

The ability to flourish is defined as the capacity of a person to grow as a human being through good times and life struggles. It is a very individual journey of living as experienced and valued by the individual. How one gets there is connected by the holistic recognition that happiness and flourishing are connected to elements such as finding individual meaning through relationships, courage, leisure time, what we love to do in life, building creativity, love, and connections. Flourishing is the product of the pursuit and engagement of an authentic life that brings inner joy and fulfillment through meeting goals, being connected with life passions, and relishing in accomplishments through the peaks and valleys of life.

Flourishing is a multi-dimensional construct, meaning it’s made up of several important parts, and maximum flourishing can only happen when a person experiences a healthy level of each dimension or component. The question arises: What constitutes flourishing for an individual?

Different perspectives emerge, with some attributing flourishing to financial success, while others emphasize self-development and personal growth. Some associate it with happiness and contentment, while others connect it to continuous learning and skill application. Interestingly, all these perspectives hold partial validity.

Our highest calling in life is to thrive and flourish, and not just survive. During this incredibly challenging time, we must do our best to thrive.” ― Donald T Iannone

Flourishing moves beyond the confines of simple happiness or well-being; it encompasses a wide range of positive psychological constructs and offers a more holistic perspective on what it means to feel well and happy. According to the “founding father” of flourishing, Dr. Martin Seligman, flourishing is the result of paying careful attention to building and maintaining the five aspects of the PERMA model.

Positive emotions

Engagement

Relationships

Meaning

Accomplishments (Seligman, 2011)

Using this model as our framework, we can understand flourishing as the state that we create when we develop and increase each aspect of this model: increasing our positive emotions, engaging with the world and our work (or hobbies), developing deep and meaningful relationships, find meaning and purpose in our lives, and achieving our goals through cultivating and applying our strengths and talents.

A large part of having positive emotions is to recognize them and express our gratitude. While even a single moment of gratitude can enhance your well-being, research shows that regularly practicing it has the greatest impact. If you’re someone who finds it difficult to build habits, try habit-stacking — adding a habit you want to build to an existing habit. Your chances of success will dramatically increase if you connect a gratitude practice to a part of your daily routine. For example, as you’re brushing your teeth in the morning and in the evening, use that time to reflect on what you’re grateful for in your life. Gratitude can be for something as big as your health or as small as a great cup of coffee.

The idea is that carefully cultivating each of these five areas leads to greater life satisfaction. If you are consciously experiencing more positive emotions, feeling present and engaged, cultivating healthy relationships, finding meaning in what you do, and celebrating, you’re doing more than just getting by. You’re thriving or, in modern terms, “living your best life”.

To flourish is to find fulfillment in our lives, accomplishing meaningful and worthwhile tasks, and connecting with others at a deeper level—in essence, living the “good life”.” (Seligman, 2011).

Positive psychologist and professor Dr. Lynn Soots, describes flourishing as the following:

“Flourishing is the product of the pursuit and engagement of an authentic life that brings inner joy and happiness through meeting goals, being connected with life passions, and relishing in accomplishments through the peaks and valleys of life.”

She states that flourishing is not a static, immutable piece of who you are, it is a process that requires action. Anyone can flourish, but it will likely require some effort to get there.

Seligman initially believed that happiness was composed of three factors: positive emotions, engagement, and meaning. However, after looking more closely at the research on happiness, he discovered that some important factors were missing from the overarching sense of the “good life” that he was trying to define. He finally added two more components that were missing: accomplishments (or the need for achievement) and relationships. This became the PERMA model.

?Most psychologists agree that flourishing encompasses well-being, happiness, and life satisfaction; however, even these components of flourishing have their subcomponents, including:

?????? Meaning

?????? Purpose

?????? Autonomy

?????? Self-acceptance

?????? Optimism

?????? Positive relationships

?????? Mastery

?????? Self-determination

?????? Resilience

?????? Personal growth

?????? Vitality

?????? Engagement

?????? Self-esteem (VanderWeele, 2017)

In essence, flourishing is about engaging deeply with life, finding meaning and joy in what we do, and cultivating relationships that enrich us. It’s not simply about achieving fleeting happiness but about building a state of well-being that sustains us through life’s highs and lows. By consciously working on the aspects of positive emotions, engagement, relationships, meaning, and accomplishments, we build a foundation that supports a full and satisfying life. Flourishing is not limited to specific achievements or milestones; it’s about the holistic sense of fulfillment that grows from a life lived with intention and resilience.

Ultimately, flourishing is an ongoing journey that invites us to continually strive for growth, connection, and purpose. It is a commitment to self-discovery, gratitude, and personal development that allows us to rise above merely surviving. By nurturing each area of the PERMA model, we can create lives that are deeply satisfying and meaningful, achieving a well-rounded sense of contentment. When we flourish, we unlock our potential, inspire those around us, and contribute positively to our communities, embodying the “good life” in a way that resonates with who we truly are.