An unusual travelling companion

A V Ram Mohan

The 9 Up Madras Egmore - Shenkottah fast passenger, to give its full name, was a popular night train for those wanting to travel to their native villages in Tanjore district from the city. You got in slightly ahead of the departure time of 21 50, got into your berth, were lulled into sleep by the gentle oscillations of the metre gauge compartment and you arrived at your destination by the crack of dawn. It was also convenient for people who had a day’s work in the district, since they could take the return train the following night. The train epitomised an unhurried way of travel and leisurely style of doing business in those innocent days. As Jayant swung into the first class coach he saw an important looking middle aged man already seated in the four person coupe. He was conservatively dressed, was reading the Madras Mail evening news paper and giving the impression of some serious concern bothering him. As a professional lawyer, Jayant was a keen observer of people and was always testing himself against his initial impressions when more facts came to light. Jayant said hello, deposited his baggage and went out to the toilet to change into night clothes. When he returned, he saw the ticket examiner in his coupe and heard the other passenger telling him ‘I have booked three tickets, and my other two colleagues will join us in Tambaram’. ‘No problem with that, Sir. Will you want coffee or tea service in Cuddalore tomorrow 5 am?’. The middle aged man waved him away with a knowing smile, muttering under his breath about not planning to last till the next morning. Jayant didn’t right away understand the significance of what the other man said, though somewhat puzzled, showed his ticket to the examiner. He opened his brief case, fished out his client’s papers to read them and be ready for discussion the next day in Cuddalore.

After the usual departure noises, the train gently glided out of the station towards the southern end of the State. Jayant was deep into the briefing notes on his client’s financial matters, as suburban stations flashed past one after the other, when he heard his co-passenger saying ‘Drink?’. Now Jayant was as law abiding as the next man, and he knew drinking in public places was against the law, but he saw no harm in humouring his travel companion. If he had any reservations at all they vanished when he saw that it was a bottle of Lagavulin a rare Scotch meant for the connoisseur, that was on offer. Mutual introductions followed. ‘I am Jayant Padmanabhan, a corporate lawyer specialising in financial litigation including bankruptcies’ he trotted out his standard line of self introduction. The other man seemed a bit surprised and pleased at hearing Jayant’s profession, and he said ‘I am Joseph Nathan, an engineer and technical entrepreneur’ and he named a company of which he was the founder and chairman. Jayant produced his visiting card, and as Mr Joseph Nathan was opening his brief case to get his card, Jayant was rather startled to see a revolver nestling among the papers. Now then, a firm-arm was not a common sight in the polite South Indian society, and seeing it in a first class train compartment gave rise to the second red signal in Jayant’s mind. Anyway he pushed such warnings aside, and was enjoying a rare Scotch with his new found companion, Mr Joseph Nathan. Though only in his early thirties, Jayant was mature beyond his years, and having seen many strange things in his legal career, he was always curious to know how situations would develop and was willing to play along without forcing anything.

Tambaram came and went, and there was no sign of Mr Joseph Nathan’s colleagues. ‘Sir, your friends seemed to have forgotten their appointment with you today’ Jayant jocularly remarked. The other man gave a knowing smile and said that no one was expected to come. ‘You see, Jayant, I had booked three seats in this coupe for myself, and one is left for the witness to what I am about to do. I don’t want to be disturbed when I am going about my business in this journey’. Jayant was now beginning to get alarmed, ‘Sir, I don’t understand, what is this witness business? What are you planning to do in this journey?’. Mr Nathan was a picture of calm when he said ‘Okay, I will tell you since you are entitled to know why I am going to do what I am going to do. I am going to blow my brains out halfway through this journey, and I would like you to be a witness to that event. You will be very well compensated for it, let me assure you, you must however narrate the events later in a slightly different way than how they actually went down.’

Jayant was shocked into silence at this astonishing turn in his conversation. This fiftyish and fit looking man didn’t appear to be a suicidal maniac to Jayant, and yet that was exactly what he intended to be. ‘Oh, man, I have an important meeting tomorrow, and I am stuck with this nut case right now’ Jayant was inwardly groaning. ‘I don’t seem to be hearing you well, sir, with all this noise of running train. Are you seriously saying you are going to shoot yourself tonight?’ Mr Joseph looked at him sharply ‘Yes, young man, that is exactly what I was telling you. Sometime after Chingleput I will be gone. Your job as a witness is to convince others that I was cleaning this revolver here, and shot myself accidentally. I don’t want my end to be seen as a suicide, since I always fought and won against all odds throughout my life. To do this minor service to a dying man, and to fulfil my last wish, I am going to offer you a reward of twenty thousand US dollars in cash. Here is he envelope containing the money. In a way I am very happy that I drew you as a companion for this journey, since a bankruptcy lawyer’s testament would be entirely believable under the circumstances. Come on, there is not much time to waste, let us have one final drink and get the show on the road’. Jayant was too stunned to respond to this unorthodox request from this respectable looking maniac. He thought for a moment and suddenly a way to stall this deranged plan appeared to him. He decided to provoke Mr Joseph Nathan into some extended conversation while he thought of ways of preventing his suicidal tendencies. He put on a stern lawyerly voice, and said ‘Look here, sir, what you do with your life is your own affair. I am not going to persuade you otherwise. However I will play no part whatsoever in your mad false witnessing schemes. You can keep your twenty thousand dollars with you and do what you want with it. On the other hand, as a professional lawyer with some standing in the court, I am bound to tell the police that it was really a suicide that killed you and not some unlikely accident with your revolver. Chew on it, sir, before you do anything rash, please’

Mr Joseph Nathan was speechless for a moment; any rational person refusing to take the attractive cash offer was an entirely new experience to him, eliciting in him some grudging respect for Jayant. He however recovered soon and was back on his agenda:

'Jayant you don’t realise you are dealing with a determined man; my financial affairs have gone seriously wrong that my death is the only way out. If you don’t seem to cooperate the way I want you to, I will have to finish you off first before I kill myself, since you are now privy to my plans. You simply can’t be let loose after I die. I hope you understand that there is nothing personal against you, but I will have to kill you too.’ So saying Mr Joseph Nathan was beginning to get his revolver ready for action.

Jayant couldn’t believe what he was hearing, yet Mr Nathan looked very ferocious with a seriously maniacal look of a condemned man. He never factored death would come to him in this manner, and so soon too. He had no plan of action which would work against a man with a gun, and any physical action against Mr Nathan would only hasten his own end. He decided to bank on his wits to save him from an early death, and calmly asked Mr Nathan for a refill of the excellent Lagavulin. Now it was Mr Joseph Nathan’s turn to act surprised, ‘You seem to taking the prospect of imminent death in your stride, Jayant. What is the matter, you have some problems of your own which will go away when you die or what?’ ‘No sir, nothing to do with me. I am reminded of some of J.Krishnamurthy’s lectures which I attended some time ago; whatever he said about death being a transient and recurring phenomenon in life do seem not very appropriate to our little situation here; we are here talking of permanent death tonight. Considering I am still young, relatively speaking, and am therefore curious to know what future has in store for me, I am wondering if getting shot by an intelligent looking man with a good taste in Scotch whiskies, is the best way to go from this world.’ Jayant was mildly chuckling when he completed his semi-serious response to Mr Joseph Nathan.

‘Lets cut out the Sir thing, Jayant, seeing that we are about to die together. You may call me Joe’. Jayant saw the other man was loosening up, and pushed his point further ‘In that case, Joe, may I make a suggestion? I can see that we have some more rounds of whiskey left in the bottle, what is the big hurry to kill ourselves right now? Why don’t we enjoy ourselves a bit, have a leisurely conversation, tell each other our stories and sometime after Cuddalore we employ your wretched revolver? That will give us at least six more hours of good time in this world. I promise you I will pull no stupid stunts in the meantime, like trying to run away from you. You will of course have to put away the gun pointing at me now, and store it in your brief case till it is needed later’

Mr Joseph Nathan was contemplating Jayant’s proposal; this young lawyer has got some balls, he conceded, to face his own death so calmly. Anyway he owed him one, having unnecessarily involved Jayant in his own suicide plan. ‘Okay, you are on, but no funny business, eh?’. Once they had settled down to this temporary truce, they got talking with Jayant opening the innings. 

J (beginning in a low-key way): ’There is not much to tell about me, I am thirty-two years old, working for a top lawyer specialising in corporate finance cases. In my free time I try to understand the great western philosophers. The law fraternity thinks I have a great future in the Law, at least till the time I met you this evening’ 

Joe: ’I am a hands-on mechanical engineer who can actually design and produce physical things. I have single handedly created a couple of medium sized engineering companies with a reputation for innovative work, even if I say so myself. We employ two hundred engineers and technicians in my set up. I may sound arrogant here, but there are not many people who can do creative engineering work like I have done’

J (gently probing): ‘Did you have a smooth sailing all along, while setting up your companies? Didn’t you encounter serious problems along the way?’

Joe (proudly): ‘of course we did, Jayant, there were a couple of occasions when we were practically going under financially; there were also several hurdles along the way in terms of competition fighting copyright cases against me, customers reneging on their payment promises, key employing leaving me for competition and several others too numerous to count. What you see in front of you is a battle hardened veteran who has survived against all odds, young man’

J (smiling): ‘If you had been so good at fighting against the elements in the past, what is so new this time around? It is just yet another fight for survival, may be a bit bigger than others. Why not face the situation as you did in the past?’

Joe (flustered at being caught by his own words): ‘I can see that you are a good lawyer, but you don’t understand the magnitude of the problem. We borrowed Rs 100 Cr to develop Aluminium Hydride fuel cells for various applications including military high altitude use, as well as in aeronautics and space; we had spent several man years in developing the prototypes and have now come up to near perfect models for testing. At this time however Lithium-Ion fuel cells have now firmly over taken our Aluminium Hydride cells. There are now no takers for what we spent so much of time developing, it is all down the drain. Long story short, I owe Rs 100 Cr to the banks while the value of my assets is only Rs 10 Cr, and I can’t be more broke than this. I am not even talking about my personal loans obtained from loan sharks at high interest rates to keep my company going till now. Surely a clever lawyer like you can see the seriousness of the problem now, I hope’

J (recovering): ‘No need to get personal or sarcastic now, Joe. Okay, you have rather unsurmountable liabilities to the bank and who knows to whom else. But, tell me, Joe, how is killing yourself going to solve anything? After your death, your banks will still take over all your assets including ownership of your companies, probably dismember them to sell them off in little pieces. As for your personal creditors, they will have no qualms about harming your survivors to get their dues. I am not your legal adviser, but I have drunk a bit of your whisky and so you are entitled to my advice. Let me tell you that you are going to leave behind a royal mess after the gun shots are fired here, and I am not taking about the state of this compartment after we die. Your employees and family members are going to be cursing you for a long time while they cope with what you are about to do. A protracted legal battle is what you are going to be leave behind as your final legacy. Is that what you want?’

Joe (slightly taken aback): ‘Now, you are pulling a fast one on me. I may only be an engineer, but even I know that a man’s liabilities extinguish after his death. Good try, but no cigar’

J (his voice raising a bit): ‘I don’t want to run down other lawyers, but I can see that you are very likely getting the wrongest possible legal advice. I am disgusted at this suicide cum accident stunt you are about to pull. It is the oldest trick in the book, which appeals only to movie going audiences in third rate films. Your suicide is not going to fool anybody, Joe, let me tell you that much, whatever convincing performance I may give about your ‘accident’. People are going to say you could not face the music, or face your problems like a man, and took the easy way out. Instead of seeking high quality legal advice to solve your problems, however big they might be, you are only seeking a bullet. On top of being a coward, you are about to be a murderer too. All this talk about killing me is simply too stupid for words, and I don’t believe it for a minute. If you don’t have the guts to face your problems like a man, do you think you have the balls to kill an innocent bystander like me?’

Joe (in a desperate, angry voice): ‘Don’t provoke me, you silly boy, I might just shoot you right away to prove you are wrong’

J(in a provocative tone): ‘Okay, then, I am done with you. Pull that goddamned trigger now and lets get it over with, you miserable so and so’

There was only truculent silence from Mr Nathan. It was a moonlit night lighting up the passing scenery of trees, shrubbery and paddy fields in a soft glow, and a gentle breeze was coming in through the windows.

It was nearing 3 am. The changing rhythm of points clacketing while the train was slowing down indicated they were approaching Villupuram Junction. It was a half an hour stop, while they replace the electric locomotive with a YP steam loco. Jayant suggested getting some coffee to clear their heads; the simple expedient of flagging down a passing vendor accomplished the job of getting good coffee for both of them. When the train pulled out of the Junction, they resumed their dialogue.

J (in a softer voice): ‘Dont get me wrong, Joe. Your situation is not very good, in fact very, very disturbing. I can understand that you are in a deep pickle, and I can guess several other things you are not talking about. You will also lose your standing in society when your financial wealth goes down, I can see all that. But I am confident that if you look carefully into your situation, you will find something, even a minor thing, to look forward to. Why don’t you look at it in that light?’

Joe (sneering): ‘Don’t give me the text book stuff, Jayant. You are reading from the opening chapters of the Victor Frankl story. Next thing you are going to say is that even in a hopeless situation like in a concentration camp, there is something to look forward to, which will keep your hopes up. Then you are going to round it off with Frankl’s peroration that while you cannot control the situation you find yourself in, however desperate, it is entirely in your hands to control the attitude you bring to the situation yourself.’

J (laughing and clapping his hands): ‘Bravo, we are dealing here with a well-educated suicidal maniac, it seems. At least I will have the satisfaction of dying at the hands of an intelligent man who can quote Victor Frankl accurately. My compliments, Joe’

Joe (flustered at this back handed compliment): ‘Man, don’t mock a hopeless and dying man’

J (in a reassuring tone): ‘Far from it, Joe. You are indeed a fun guy to be with. I am not pulling your leg here when I say that you are much more than an engineer from the shop floor, in a way you are much more sophisticated. I marvel at the fact that here we are two perfect strangers who have spent the last five hours having a good back and forth, and still keeping our wits about.

Joe: So, what are your final words?

J (in a gentle voice): ‘I am now going to tell you something very disturbing about you, which in my opinion entirely uncharacteristic of the life you have led all along. Hear me out please. In my assessment you have been tangling for a long time with these monsters of financial bankruptcy and many associated demons like societal opprobrium; be careful, my friend, how you fight with these monsters, and before long you will become a monster yourself. In fact I do believe you are already part way there, towards becoming a monster. Why else would you want to shoot people you met only for the first time?

Joe(menacingly): What, me a monster?

J (in final tones): Yes, of course my friend, that is what you have become now without realising it yourself. As a wise man once said, ‘While you have been gazing into an abyss for a long time, remember, that the abyss is also gazing back into you’. It does not take long, Mister Joseph Nathan, for a good old Joe to become a deadly creature. Don’t allow it to happen, my friend, you are a lot better man than that. Don’t become somebody else in your death what you were not in real life, and if that happens it would be the real tragedy for you, and certainly more than the financial ruin you are now facing’

Mr Joseph Nathan was looking thoughtful and a long silence ensued thereafter in the compartment.

At around 4 am, a strong smell of molasses wafted into the compartment as the train was crossing Nellikuppam. Jayant got up to say ‘In twenty minutes or so, we will reach Cuddalore where I have to get off. If you are still bent on committing your bloody carnage, this is your only chance to do so. I am ready. If on the other hand you are willing to listen to me, I would suggest we meet back in Madras two days from now. Let me bring a good accountant with me, together we will go through your financial records, and who knows we may come up with something which just stops short of suicide. Lets make a firm appointment for 10 am in your office the day after tomorrow. What do you say to that?’

Mr Joseph Nathan was quiet. ‘You have given me something to think about, let me first reflect on that. However if you don’t see me the day after tomorrow, you would know what I have done in the meantime.’ Jayant looked back into the compartment as he was getting off the train, and saw a tired looking Mr Nathan placing his revolver back in the briefcase. In that dim railway lighting it was the sight of a once proud man battling his inner demons, and it was pitiful.

His client was waiting for him at the station. ‘What happened, Jayant? You are looking like a ghost, and smelling of booze!’. In spite of the heavy mental exertions of the previous night, Jayant was keeping his sense of humour alive. ‘I might have got myself a new client, we will know in two days’ time. I must tell you however that Nietzsche probably saved my life last night, difficult to believe but it is true. Whether a combination of Frankl and Nietzsche can do the same trick with my recent travel companion, we will know soon’

A V Ram Mohan.               10 Sept 2020