UNTOLD WAILS OF LEARNING: MY OWN EXPERIENCE

We are used to hearing and celebrating the wins and outcomes of learning, but we most forget to unveil the murkiest side that slurps energy out of ourselves.

Although, learning in general is a never-ending process, and its true; as I am borrowing the phrase from the greatest Isaac Newton; ‘What we know is a drop, what we don’t know is an ocean’. So, learning is almost inevitable.?

But, it's excruciating that learning a particular thing(s), involves obnoxious experiences almost equal to bullying especially when are things/the skill sets that the society decided should be acquired at a particular age. For instance, in recent days; a young adult should know how to swim, speak English, ride a bike, use a computer, drive a car, it goes down to the etiquettes… and you name it!

As Adam Grant said in his ‘Think Again’ book; there are ‘’once born’ and twice born’’ people. Anyways, without blinking an eye, I belong to a ‘twice born’ group. So, I tend to collect lessons and skills as I go. And probably most people fall into this category, and I can profess it not to be an easy process.

Learning is not always roses and laughter, it is not even close to anything fancy as how we paint it to be on Instagram and of course it is not an overnight process.

The toiling, unheard cries, tiredness, the-almost-giving-up phase, and bending-but-not-breaking are inevitable. It’s not always wallowing but a harrowing process at times.

I remember, back in 2019 I embarked in taking bike riding sessions with some of my colleagues by then, hohoho! I was assigned to an instructor named Ashraf, I remember day 1 was horrible and super embarrassing, regardless that I did my googling and tap onto those ‘what to know’ prior to riding a bike. Then, the next day Ashraf was sick, so he did not show up. It made me think like, am I the worst student? Is Ashraf avoiding me wisely? and my colleagues threw few jokes as well. What I won’t forget is; that day I had a different instructor and there were some people by the road saying, ‘Aah wewe dada hamna kitu kabisa, kwanza ulikuwa wapi kujifunza ukiwa mtoto, hukununuliwa baskeli, hutaweza hata kidogo’ lol! I felt humiliated, throbbed but it gave me strength and that was the day I did rode freely by myself, and I made Ashraf so proud the next day. All I wanted was to do a cycling marathon if I will ever want to, but my immediate dream by then was to ride a bike down the streets of Munich, as I was having a lined-up trip to Germany. At least that’s what pushed me most, yes! Having something to push you is important, might be a simple reason or way significant.?

An equivalent experience to when I was learning driving manual cars. Dear Lord! that was much torturing. First of all, in the busy Msasani roads in Dar, full of Daladalas and hawkers, my instructor was also a perfectionist and impatient, the car had no air condition so we drive with windows down, while focusing with who is watching me from the outside, trying to smile as people are laughing the way I sit close to the wheel with all hands-on rigidly, those hooting from other drivers who want to overtake, before I know it the instructor asks me to change to the gear… at that moment I don’t even know which gear I was driving on, lol! As I am panicking, I press the brake paddle without engaging the clutch… you know what’s next, the car has already stopped abruptly and by now my instructor is enraged like hell. I quickly and humbly start the car, as I release the clutch while pressing the gas paddle slowly, Hahaha; it even made me think like… Am I paying my money to be tortured and embarrassed? But at the end of the day, the golden question is what do you want to achieve out of it? The good thing about acquiring a skill is enduring a one-time wail then enjoying the fruits immensity. It’s sublime!

I am not a magician; I confess there are things I am still trying to learn, and I keep failing bad but still, it is a process, one step at time. And other things I made peace with like, ‘Yo… bye for now, let’s pause. We shall try sometimes later when I get a concrete reason and need for doing you’ ??. I see ebbs and flows in my learning journey as well and I fully embrace it.

I should emphasize that, learning should be part and parcel of your daily life, it’s not a destination, a phase, or a moment; it’s a lifetime process, always be ready to. Even if you think you know something; humble yourself and land your plane ready to acquire new things. There is always a new lesson. That is why I love re-visiting the books that I already read, there is always a new lesson, at least for me.

Sometimes you get to learn when you accept some opportunities or situations, be exposed and be on the move. Just have a reason to why you want that skill, endure the pain it comes with, be open to failures and enjoy all the wins and wails of the process.

I, for instance: I google literally everything. Well, it might appear to be a perfectionism trait but just being ready and avoid some unnecessary awkwardness and it is self-love 101, helloooo…! I swear if my google-search history is being revealed, those ‘How To’ are enormous! ??.

So, ask people, ask, and ask, google, grab books, talk to people, travel, try new things... and you can name it. It helps.

Learning can be painful but ENDURE! With time, it is worth it.

Sayonara & cheers to learning!

Tully