UNTAGGED Goal Setting: An Unconventional Way of Looking at Goals Turning GROW into RGWO

January is typically the month in which we set professional and personal goals.?

There are lots of systems and tools out there to help you pick goals that are just the right mix of doable and challenging, guide you on how to go after them, and show you how to check if you're making progress.

I've found a lot of these systems and tools really useful, but I've also realised they have their limits.

Last year, I learned that my feelings towards a goal don't always match up with how doable it seems or how often I've done similar things before. In other words:?

How a goal makes me feel matters more than the goal itself.?

Another important truth I’ve learned is that action alone creates results. What helped me was realising that, in reality, each of us has what it takes to act as long as we’re willing to experiment. This understanding changed the way I felt about goals before, during, and after achieving them, and it's this insight that's helped me learn, grow, and move forward.?

Many goal-setting systems make us feel like we have to be fully prepared, which can actually make us scared of trying something new—and so we miss out on chances to learn or get results.

Take the GROW framework, for example. It’s a popular approach that breaks goal-setting down into four steps:?

1. G for Goal: What do you want??
2. R for Reality: Where are you now??
3. O for Options: What could you do??
4. W for Why: What will you do??

Let's focus on the first two elements:?

Where I am now vs. where I want to go.?

This is typically the point of goal setting of inventory; it’s like taking stock for goal-setting:

• What do I know??
• What have I done??
• What skills do I have?

And then comparing it to where you want to go. Your mind notices the gap, figuring out what's missing versus what you can do.?

While it's good to know your limits and what skills you might lack, this kind of thinking can hold you back, especially in how a goal makes you feel. Now, let's dive into some key drawbacks of typical goal-setting frameworks that focuses on what you're lacking:

1. They promote procrastination?

We often assume procrastination is laziness. But psychology proves otherwise. When you procrastinate, you are not avoiding effort. Instead, you’re avoiding the unpleasant feeling associated with specific tasks and activities.? Eventually, though, you realise you are also avoiding achieving your goal.?

When you concentrate on the gap between what you've got and where you want to be, and you're looking at what you're missing, you start wanting to dodge uncomfortable feelings. It's no longer about the activity itself, but more about how you feel before you even start—like the fear of feeling silly, incapable, or letting yourself down.?

2. It implies that readiness is necessary to start

When we fixate on the gap between where we are and where we want to be, and work on plans to close that gap so we can finally start, we lose precious time to experiment and actually move forward, just like the below graphic illustrates:

Food for thought: What to do instead??

Imagine if you were already prepared and ready for any task—what goals would you chase then? By considering your own reality, including your desires, vision, and strengths, you'll naturally start chasing the right goals, not the other way around.?

Let's now consider the last set of elements of the GROW goal-setting framework:

Number 3 in the GROW framework, 'Options', means thinking about the different ways you can get closer to your goal. This is the step before you decide on the actual things you'll do, which leads to number 4, ‘The What’ (that is, what actions you'll take).

?

It might seem smart at first to consider various options before committing to specific actions. After all, no one wants to rush around without a clear plan like a headless chicken, trying different things without knowing what will really work.

The challenge:

1. We can't know for sure what options will lead us to success until we actually try them out.

2. There's a belief that making mistakes or taking steps that don't immediately lead to the goal is a waste of time.

When we're scared of making mistakes because we don't want to seem foolish or feel embarrassed, we limit ourselves. But what if we looked at different approaches without stressing about whether they're the right ones? What if we saw mistakes as chances to get smarter, braver, or step outside our comfort zone? Then, we'd realise:?

• It's not always about taking the 'right' steps. In hindsight, we'll never be sure if a different step would have been better.
• It's all about learning and experience. Maybe taking a longer route helps us see things differently, gather more information, or even find a solution we hadn't thought of before.
• ?

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—Picasso?

Food for thought: What to do instead??

Think about discovering options through action, instead of just choosing actions from a list of possibilities.?

Let's recap:?

GROW can be a useful framework, but let’s always consider how goals make us feel. This is what happens when we approach it from a different angle:

Happy New Year, and here’s to redefining how you explore goals!