Unspoken words: The art of subtext

This has been an interesting theme the last few days and shows how important it is to understand how you communicate in and read from the subtext, the underlying meaning your actions communicate in relationships you are a part of.

Unfortunately, I've found that most people in my experience lack self-awareness of what they communicate in this way, which often makes conversations harder than they need to be.

Gaining awareness of that communication though is huge for healthy relationships and important for better alignment with the people around you.

This isn't to say that everything will be sunshine and rainbows as each person still has their predilections, but the ability to communicate without implying fault is huge for respecting personal boundaries between different people.

When does this surface?

Whether we realize it or not, this surfaces every day through our actions and communication with other people.

Realistically, we can only do so much for each other and each of us has different boundaries, but there's a high duty of care necessary in both business and personal lives that must be maintained in our time with other people.

Before we send a message, speak a word, or take an action, take a bit of time to think how it would be communicated to other people, how they should interpret it, what their relationship is with you in your personal and business life, and what your standard of care is for that relationship.

When is this awareness important?

This awareness is important for family, friends, and coworkers to properly maintain relationships with everyone.

We'll all have disagreements, which can range from small to huge. In my experience, the more crucial the conversation, the more important awareness of the subtext becomes.

This doesn't mean you can't speak your mind, but it does mean to speak it in a way that allows you to rebuild the relationship with that person.

If you can't, it is best to find someone who can help you get through the initial anger before having the talk and getting things back to normal.

When can this do you a disservice?

Being a good caretaker and provider is important in life, but at some point, we also need to acknowledge that different individuals have goals in life that we might not agree with.

If the relationship has always been harmonious, it will be challenging for someone to adjust to a little spice in the relationship as you get more opinionated and focused on achieving your goals.

In my personal experience, the team I was with for 5 years got too dependent on me and made it seem like no one else could do the job, which is entirely untrue.

As humans, you have to get used to things changing and changing reasonably regularly, especially if you want to get anywhere in life.

These are people I still regard highly, but I needed more out of life and got incredibly stuck in my career.

Whether that is in your personal life or your professional life, keep in mind that you should always be facing new problems regularly so you know you're growing.

How do you want to be heard?

This is a short piece intended to give you insight into how the actions and words you choose in a relationship display power balance or imbalance, harmonious or antagonistic, and more in the relationships you are a part of.

This stems from the internal desire of how you want to be seen and heard, which should always be aligned with the company you keep externally to build the world you want to live in.

Ultimately, when you find your people, this all falls to just natural interactions between like-minded people and makes for interesting conversation as you develop more.