The Unspoken Question: Why You Should Always Ask "How Are You?" Back in an Interview

The interview is a nerve-wracking dance of questions and answers, resumes, and handshakes. As an interviewer, I've seen countless candidates walk through the door, some prepared, some flustered, but one thing always stands out: those who don't bother to ask how I'm doing in return.

Before you dismiss this as a formality, I'd like to explain why it matters more than you might think.

It's All About Reciprocity

Imagine a conversation where someone walks up to you and grills you with questions. It feels abrupt. An interview is a two-way street. When I ask you, "How are you doing today?" It's not just a pleasantry. It's an invitation to build rapport, a chance to show you're engaged and interested in the conversation. Reciprocating that question demonstrates you understand basic social cues and possess interpersonal skills—crucial qualities for many roles.

Beyond Small Talk

Of course, it's not just about manners. Here's what your response to "How are you?" reveals:

• Attention to Detail: Taking the time to acknowledge my greeting reflects your attentiveness. It shows you're focused on landing the job and connecting as a human being.
• Confidence and Poise: A simple "Good morning/afternoon" demonstrates self-assurance and the ability to navigate social interactions smoothly.
• Genuine Interest: Inquiring about my well-being, even briefly, suggests you're interested in more than just the job itself. You're interested in building a connection with your potential employer.

The Power of a Simple Question

It doesn't have to be an elaborate inquiry. A simple "And you?" or "How are things going?" goes a long way. This shows you're present, engaged, and comfortable in basic human interaction. It sets a positive tone for the rest of the interview and establishes a foundation of mutual respect.

But What if I'm Nervous?

Nerves are a natural part of the interview process. However, focusing too much on yourself can make those nerves worse. Shifting the focus slightly by acknowledging the interviewer can help calm your anxieties.

The Takeaway

Remember, an interview is a chance to make a good impression, not just answer prepped questions. You're demonstrating important skills by taking a moment to inquire about the interviewer's well-being. So next time you enter an interview, remember to return the kindness and ask, "How are you?" It's a small gesture that can have a big impact.