The Unspoken Enemy of Sales People

I want to take you on a journey that nobody is talking about but many have struggled with and quite possibly, are experiencing as they read this.

"Welcome to the team!" It can almost feel surreal when you hear those words as a salesperson when you accept your first job, or as you make a change to a new firm to find the next chapter of your walk. It is a statement that rings in your head for weeks as you go through the on-boarding process. Meeting all your new friends in the different departments and learning about their responsibilities, diving into the products and services the firm offers, experiencing the culture of your new home. You meet the CEO, the CFO, the HR director, the entire leadership team. You get a massively WARM welcome that sends you back home at the end of your first day with the biggest smile your face has ever worn. You tell your significant-other about how great your day was and how excited you are about this new venture. You call your parents and boast about how awesome the new firm is and the way they treated you on the first day.

It is a picture perfect day.

A fresh new start.

A few short months down the road, reality sets in and punctures holes right through this beautiful picture you've painted for yourself, in this new role. And it all starts with the one thing that nobody prepares you for in the much bigger scheme of things.

In sales, it is a fact that on a daily basis you will be told "no" by the folks you are prospecting. The thing nobody tells you is that it's not just a "no" - it is a rejection, full of failure, heartache, and can even feel downright vile at times. Imagine, you are just trying to do your job to provide for your family, meet your financial goals, and live out your dreams. Yet the majority of the time you are being treated like second class trash. Nobody cares that you have bills to pay, kids to feed, a life to journey on. They just hear "salesperson" and immediately put up the wall and get off the phone in hopes that you won't ever call back.

Your veteran sales friends or family members, and even your new boss, all told you that having thick skin in sales is important because people are going to tell you they are not interested and you will have to navigate from business to business accepting this outcome. Here's the thing, they forgot to tell you about when it comes to how that rejection can sound... "stop f*cking calling me, I am so sick of you bothering me, I told you we are not interested, I don't like you, your company is terrible, I want nothing to do with you, your product is a piece of sh*t." Or the infamous "NOT INTERESTED, TAKE ME OFF YOUR LIST - *CLICK*. And here is my bigger thought. I don't care if you claim to have thick skin or if you try to develop it throughout your walk, you are still human. And, this type of rejection can fester. Even if it "doesn't bother you" to the point where it mentally breaks you down. The irritation you show at home when the dog won't stop asking for a walk, the bad attitude you throw around with your friends at lunch when it takes 5 extra minutes for your plate to show up, the way you speak to and treat your spouse at the end of a long day... it is the culmination of all these small jabs that you are having to deal with on a consistent basis. And, furthermore, there is nothing you can do about the negativity and rejection, it's part of the job!

Here's something else that nobody mentioned to you... After 90 days in your new position, it is DO OR DIE when it comes to your activity, your monthly and quarterly numbers, and your existence at the new firm you have gotten use to calling home.

Another truth inside of all this realization is that you are the enemy of your buyer. Did anybody tell you that yet? Maybe you have slowly woken up to this fact as you learned how to run a sales cycle, which consists of "get the paperwork signed, no matter the cost and cash the check as fast as possible."

This is the way of the old-guard. The way that leadership operates.

Hey, you, reading this right now. Has your boss ever poked fun at you to the other reps making statements like; "Don't get emotionally attached to your buyer like John Smith over here. He thinks everyone is going to invite him to their Thanksgiving dinners." We both know you have.

Put commissions over community. Because nothing else matters.

Here is another one... does this sound familiar to you: "My boss tells the team to provide value, build relationships, and to accommodate the buyer... until it's the end of the month and we are 10k away from hitting our team quota or I have not put up any numbers. Then the boss is all about who can go out and slam a deal in before 5:00 PM. Push your buyer to say uncle and sign the paperwork, whatever it takes to get on the board."

This is a message I have received directly from many sales reps and also a practice I have experienced first-hand in my own sales walk.

It is a shame that in the year 2019 we are still so focused on a lust for MONEY - the root of all evil.

Here is a high-level breakdown of this subject:

(If the video does not work above... click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJY7r7wgiHs)

Let's go over the sales processes itself.

You are equipped with a script that gives benefit statements and builds initial perceived value between you and the prospect but, unfortunately, they don't care one bit about what you have to say. Why, you ask? Because nobody likes to be sold to. And, NOBODY TALKS ABOUT THIS. The sales world is also stereotyped as pushy and forceful regarding their agenda when getting their prospects to buy. This is from years of low-life/high-pressure sales tactics carried out by the sales world.

• Endless chatter
• Emotional manipulation
• Limited time offers
• Reciprocity
• Misleading emails and voice-messages
• The "double-tap"
• Inflating the proven performance of the product
• Inflating the ROI experienced by clients
• The old "take-away" method

The list goes on and on...

So here you are, as green as they come, getting emotionally beaten down on a daily basis. You have consistently been below your quota because of the confusion you have experienced through this new process of daily rejection, you are questioning yourself, your tactics, whether or not you are executing the script properly, THAT list goes on and on as well. Now the boss is pressuring you on your performance. Maybe they are micromanaging you, maybe they just show up in your email on Friday and ask "did you close anything?" Consider also that you are an A player but feeling some of this article resonate with you. Instead of being pressured to hit quota, maybe your leadership promised you the moon and the stars based on performance (which you have exceeded) and now they just ignore you as if you never existed... either of these scenarios turn into a pretty toxic relationship. It translates into you starting to feel resentment toward your superiors, the company at times, and your prospects. You start to make excuses for not getting the work done because it's causing you to burn out. You take the pressure home and start complaining to your spouse which does nothing but cause more stress and anxiety which projects onto your family.

I believe this is because most managers or leaders treat their role as "the boss" and not "the coach" who will push you to your own limits. Instead, they are only focused on their internal indicators that you need to hit in order to produce results. There is no real growth in this management style. Only forced results that nobody is really truly happy with at the end of the day because you need to do it again next month, and the next, and the next...

This type of behavior leads down even darker paths that have nothing but tragic endings. Reps making high six figure incomes living lavish lifestyles, that are not present at their daughters birthdays. Their spouse has filed for divorce due to alcohol abuse or other addictions that have burnt bridges throughout the relationship. People saying "but they were such a nice person, I never saw any of this coming." Issues that stem from the high pressure, take no prisoners lifestyle that sales beats into you daily.

But its not just high performing reps. It goes all the way down to those who are stuck at the bottom of the barrel, living paycheck to paycheck, feeling played on a daily basis by the robotic checklist of habits they have to execute or risk losing their job. These things lead to your first ever anxiety attack, the development of depression in your walk when it was never before an issue. It surfaces a lack of passion toward living your life any further than the present moment, a feeling that has culminated over time and beaten you down to nothing.

And, it is not unique to just these two instances and outcomes. Each of our individual walks on this slippery slope will lead to different endings, and new heart-breaking beginnings.

Here is the thing, I have walked this path in my own way... Yeah, real talk.

I sold copiers, everyone hates the copier guy! I use to get beaten down on a daily basis by my prospects and the pressure of the "job." There were very toxic people in my midst as well and over time I questioned what it was that I was constantly doing wrong and why. It did not matter how much money I was making, how many deals I was closing, how many records I was smashing, the culmination of rejection and negativity over time creeps up on you in a dangerous way. It caused me to head down a deep and extremely dark path. I lost sight of my loved ones, I became numb to my friendships, I turned to substance abuse as a copping mechanism, and in the end I was tempted to take my life... writing those words sends an emotion through my body that I can not describe and never want to revisit. This was also the second time in my life that I tried to end my walk on this earth, I am someone who has struggled with depression for a very long time. The high pressure sales path I was on resurfaced these demons in my journey and threatened to end everything I had worked so hard to achieve. My marriage, my family, my success, my community, my legacy.

It was on that day, I woke up. With the help of my mentors, coaches, and even my community. I learned more about the type of perspective I needed to have in order to fully tap into the success that I was achieving and had been waiting patiently for me to find. I also had the best damn leader on the face of this earth, my Father, Curtis Dupree. I was blessed to be able to truly experience leadership in its most raw and pure form, from a man who believed that others prosperity was more important than his own, in the name of compassion, love, and statesmanship. It was by his guidance and leadership that I was able to find a stable surface and come back home.

My Father saved my life.

Something that nobody really cares to talk about either is the fact that as a man I am supposed to be tough. I am supposed to beat my chest, act superior in a room full of other alphas, and smoke an entire cigar in one sitting while I down a scotch talking about the "how hot that bartender is..." This mindset is toxic and carried out by individuals who do not understand the true meaning of their walk. The joy of keeping relationships sacred inside of their community, the fulfillment of cherishing their wives/significant others, the power of vulnerability and the doors that can open because of it. Listen to me when I tell you it's okay to cry, it's okay to feel, it's okay to NOT be the stereotype of a "real man." This concept is portrayed by the media, Hollywood, and the insecure yet successful men in your community who mirror this mindset of treating people/life with disdain and asking "what's in it for me" at every opportunity. How many of the most powerful men in your community and across the globe, have you seen come crashing down from their ivory tower and end up taking their own lives? Crashing and burning their marriage to ashes? Becoming less of a "man" and more of a villain. Too many to count. And the number continues to rise.

Sorry ladies, needed to talk to my brothers for just a minute and set the record straight.

So should I just stay away from sales altogether?

While I know it seems like I am telling you that sales will only drain your soul like nothing you have ever experienced. Please understand that a sales role can give you fulfillment that you did not even know existed in the first place. Although I am telling you that there is darkness here, the light that can be shined is beautiful and bright.

A Rebellion is needed against what the world tells us is a normal sales existence and the negativity that lurks in the corners of your bullpen.

The sales world needs new leaders to rise from the ashes of the old. Some of these people already exist and run the most desirable sales structures and organizations across the globe. They absolutely exist! They got their start just like you. A starry eyed kid looking to change the world through their hard work, mindset, and vision for success. They took their role by the horns and created the outcomes they desired, not for their own glory, but for the glory of their community. Keeping empathy at the forefront of their walk. Understanding that business is not some fairy-tale land where life suddenly stops and the term "it's not personal, it's just business" becomes some kind of actual reality.

“The greatest fear in the world is the opinions of others. And the moment you are unafraid of the crowd, you are no longer a sheep, you become a lion. A great roar arises in your heart, the roar of freedom.” - Osho

If this article resonated with you and you are looking to Rebel alongside the rest of us, check this article out: Leading A Sales Rebellion. And, tune into other sales and marketing leaders who are leading the charge for change. Leaders like Daniel Disney, Sangram Vajre, David Masover, Larry Levine, Samantha Stone, Mary Henderson, Joshua W. Desha, Scott Ingram, Barbara Giamanco, Randy Riemersma, Lori Richardson, Steven A. Butler, Paul Castenada, Darcy J. Smyth, Steve Claydon, Josh Braun, Catherine Karabetsos, Stu Heinecke, Jeff Bajorek, Marc Bodner, David Brier, Kevin Dorsey and many more that can be found on all social media platforms.

AS A FINAL NOTE:

There will be some people who read this and say "I don't relate, Dale" - and that is absolutely fine. The fact of the matter is that there is a large majority of people who deal with depression, anxiety, and emotional distraught in many different forms that you will never understand or be able to relate to. It's not about "relating" as much as it is about being aware that it exists in the professional world just as much as it does in your personal life. You want to know why? Because life does not stop at 8:00AM when you get to the office and resume at 5:00PM when you check out. Stay present, stay human, pursue legendary.