The unspoken 'C'

Collaboration. Communication. Cuckoo Cuteness blah blah blah... Oh so sweet are the Cs taught to youngsters as part of the hallowed tenets of good OB. But the most effective leaders are the ones willing to accept and adopt CONFRONTATION as one of the inevitable Cs of all high-performing teams.

As a shy introverted kid, I was uncomfortable with conflicts. Hunting for resolutions even before one potentially arose (or worse, brushing it under the proverbial carpet to keep the 'friendship intact'). But gradually, over the past couple of decades I've learnt to value the fact that in average organisations run by average teams, the only way to inch towards excellence is to allow confrontations to emerge and face them boldly.

So, whether it's a colleague not willing to accept responsibility, a team member who's slacking or even a senior throwing his weight around, learn to confront for the betterment of the team/organisation. And the long-term gain of self/leadership development over the short-term loss of discomfort, or a rating gone sour.

Not to say, that tie your Rambo bandana and start chopping anyone crossing your cubicle, every single waking hour. But rather, learn to pick your battles - for the right reasons - sharpen your axe and go for it.

Few tips (would love to hear more from you):

1. Don't let ego or the audience enjoying the drama, dictate the course of the confrontation. The end objective should be the greater good of the team/common purpose - always
2. Raise your rationale. Not your voice
3. Facts work better than abstract arguments or emotional pleas
4. Professional punch and never a personal slap
5. Pause/Silence/Walk away to disengage is Ok, if the other person turns nasty. Bring back decorum and go for it again. Sometimes a break or an external intervention might be needed

So to begin with, don your gloves and start sparring in smaller bouts, against the shit piled along your path. And once the confrontation muscle balloons, you can even go to war for your team and beliefs.