Unseen Chains

The plot or plotline is one element that stories almost always have. In essence, our lives are narratives that we experience, internalize, and leave behind in the lives of others. The saddest thing is that most people do not want to learn their own scripts, understand their story lines, or differentiate themselves from others. Understanding our stories, is what makes us special and sets us apart from other people.?

In this article, I want us to understand the roots of our stories.?Our stories have a beginning, too, like any other story, it starts in childhood. What was it like growing up? Do you remember feeling loved, understood, or neglected? Was it accommodating, distant, cold, or warm? What do you remember about the beginning??

Study shows that our early developmental stages are the most crucial times because these are the times, we learn how to form bonds and relationships with people, we learn our value systems, our beliefs, our principles. We learn how to trust, who to trust, we learn to hate, to love, break and to care for. When we grow up in rough environments, our views tend to be inclined towards the negative.

Jeff Young was particularly interested in this field, he called these negative views; Early Maladaptive Schemas.

In psychology, the term schema refers to a cognitive framework or mental structure that helps individuals organize and interpret incoming information. Schemas are mental representations of knowledge, beliefs, expectations, and experiences that influence how people perceive and process new information.

The term madaldaptive used to describe something that is not well-suited to the situation at hand, and may actually be detrimental to an individual's well-being.

Hence these are negative thoughts, beliefs, behaviors and opinions that we develop from our early developmental stages.

The schemas are 18 in total and grouped into 5 different domains.

In this article, I want to give you a brief overview of the types of maladaptive schemas. I will not get in to much detail, I want you to take this week to process this article, in preparation for the next articles. Are you ready for what you are about to learn and discover about yourself?

The five domains:

1. Disconnection & Rejection: includes schemas that make it difficult to develop healthy relationships.

Specific schemas include:

·??Abandonment/instability: this is when we constantly feel that people are bound to leave us.

·??Mistrust/abuse: this happens when we feel that others will hurt, humiliate, or cheat us.

·??Emotional deprivation: this happens when we feel that others will not support or love us enough.

·??Defectiveness/shame: these are schemas that causes someone to feel that they are bad or inferior.

·???Social isolation/alienation: these are schemas that causes a person to believe that they do not belong

2. Impaired Autonomy & Performance: includes schemas that make it difficult to develop a strong sense of self and function in the world as an adult.

These schemas include:

·?Dependence/incompetence: these are schemas that makes us feel incompetent to handle challenges alone.

·?Vulnerability to harm or illness: these are schemas that causes a person to believe they will experience a catastrophic event

·?Enmeshment/undeveloped self: these are schemas that comes with excessive closeness with a loved one, causing a person to feel they cannot survive without them

·??Failure: these are schemas that causes a person to feel they have failed, will fail, or that they are less competent than others

3. Impaired Limits: includes schemas that affect self-control and the ability to respect boundaries and limits.

These schemas include:

·?Entitlement/grandiosity: these are schemas that causes a person to believe they are special or superior to others

·?Insufficient self-control/self-discipline: these are schemas that causes a person to refuse to control their impulses, or has difficulty doing so

4. Other Directedness: includes schemas that lead you to prioritize the needs of others above your own.

These schemas include:

·?Subjugation: these are schemas that causes a person to feel that their wants or needs are less important or valid than others

·?Self-sacrifice: these are schemas that causes a person to have the excessive need to please others no matter the cost to oneself.

·?Approval-seeking/recognition-seeking: these are schemas that causes a person to place an excessive emphasis on gaining approval or fitting in.

5. Over-vigilance & Inhibition: includes schemas that prioritize avoiding failure or mistakes through alertness, rules, and disregarding desires or emotions.

Specific schemas include:

·?Negativity/pessimism: these are schemas which causes a person to focus on the negative aspects of life

·??Emotional inhibition: these are schemas in which a person feels they must hide their emotions to avoid shame or loss of control.

·?Unrelenting standards/hypocriticalness: these are schemas which causes a person to strive to meet unrealistic standards

·?Punitiveness: these are schemas which makes a person believe that people including oneself, deserve harsh punishments for mistakes

Back to my question, are you ready to discover more about yourself? If so, I am looking forward to seeing you in the next articles, where I will explore each domain intensively. Have a blessed week.