The unsaid

The unsaid = what is thought and felt, but not spelled out

Talking definitely cannot be replaced, and is critical for effective communication.?But, sometimes, inserting deliberate silence into conversations makes your audience more likely to hear emotions, frustrations and dilemmas during business meetings.??Both silence before one speaks and after one speaks, when used correctly, can be a powerful tool to help both the speaker and the audience reflect better.?Pausing at strategic times gives statements more weight and lets people fully absorb them and come up with creative responses.?

As per Prof. Marilieke Engbers of Vrije University, unfortunately, we don’t interpret the unsaid correctly all the time.?If, for example, your Boss were to stay silent in a business meeting, it may make everyone uncomfortable or signal a rejection of what the previous speaker said.?On the other hand, if your Boss were to ask you a direct question and you took too long to respond, it may be annoying.?The natural conversational flow of turn-taking usually takes few milliseconds.?So, taking a 4 secs pause may disrupt that flow.?In some cultures, silence is also used to show respect, especially if the other person is of higher status.?

Silence is especially helpful in business negotiations.?Do you know that breakthroughs in negotiations occur nearly twice as frequently after a conversational lapse of between 3.5 - 9.5 secs??Such pauses help negotiators realize the other side’s priorities correctly.?At the very least, it helps calm things down.

How and when to use pause is a skill that one has to continuously develop and use based on situational realities.?Mastering the use of unsaid can, however, make us more effective communicators…