Unravelling the Truth: Disputes to Recognition Revealed and Debunked

If recognition is one thing everyone needs, regardless of role, tenure, experience, or industry, why isn’t it honoured as a nonnegotiable ingredient in a healthy workplace? Why do we not expand that to every workplace, home base, and community space, too? Have you ever met a person who doesn’t need to matter to someone else? Connection is a currency people will trade for over promotions, raises, and the status quo . This week, let’s unpack the arguments I hear that hold people back from embracing recognition.??

Resistance to Recognition

If you’re a diehard recognition advocate, which I suspect you are given that you’ve chosen to dedicate minutes of your precious time to read this article (and thank you for your attention, truly), you may be scratching your head as to why others have yet to embrace recognition. You may be wondering why the virtues of an appreciative environment are better for all – productivity, retention, discretionary effort, happiness, and more.?

I used to wonder too, until I started truly listening to what was behind the questions folks would ask me after a keynote. Here’s a look behind the resistant curtain so that you can influence subtly and strategically to spread recognition.??

“I Am Not Going to Thank Someone For Doing Their Job”

Many people have spent their whole careers, until recently anyway, being expected to do their job, and their reward was a paycheque . In fact, not only do they do their jobs, but they now might be doing the work of two people and still have yet to be thanked. Do your job = get paid for your job. Full stop.?

Let’s pause for a moment of empathy. What must that be like?

If you have not had your needs met and you’ve pushed them aside and “just gotten on with it” (as my British mother would say), then it can create a frustration that you now need to start doing something for others you had needed all along. This is a time for exploring the past and acknowledging the changing landscape of work, where we are more aware of the negative impacts of work and not ignoring the factors that negatively impact our mental health, cause burnout, and the effects of incivility. As we will discuss next, many tell me that we have a long way to go to address this, but it’s understandably going to be hard for folks to flip a switch if they’ve had to put up with being treated as a producer rather than a human with a need to feel valued for their contributions (let’s call a spade a spade).

“I Am Too Busy to Recognize”

Many wish they could but cannot imagine when they will fit it into the grind of the 9 to 5 (which might be more like the 9 to 9 or the 6 to 6…depending on whether you’re an early bird!)

I feel for these folks, too. They know and feel that appreciation is necessary.?Still,?if you’re functioning in survival mode, it’s hard to see recognition as anything more than an aspirational goal to tackle when things “slow down,” they get unburied from tasks, or that big project is over.

Again, let’s add some empathy, friends. As well as some reality: Is there ever a “slower” time anymore? I remember working in healthcare when we used to say, “Thank goodness summer is coming so we can catch a break.” I left ten years ago, and we had done away with that belief. It has become even more challenging, I hear when I speak with healthcare friends, former colleagues, and audience members (such as CAMDA – Canadian Association of Medical Devices Reprocessing…see video snippet below).

I bet you can relate, regardless of industry.

The good news is that 95% of people say their most desired form of recognition is a thank you, which not only takes virtually no time but also fuels you. The response you get back helps you stay connected to your purpose, the people you work with, and why you chose to do the work you do. You’re also more likely to get it in return, further reinforcing that the work matters to others and makes a difference.?

Recognition isn’t a nice to do. it’s a need to do. It benefits the giver, receiver, and anyone who sees or hears it happening

Plus, it’s easy! So thank away!

“I Don’t Need a Thank You”?

Speaking of thank yous, I sometimes hear folks say, “I don’t need a thank you.” The most obvious reason for this statement is that they might be part of that 5%. Fair. The next question is, “What form of recognition do you need?”

Humans are complicated, though; we are not always keen to share our deepest needs, and we might also be unaware of them. Do you always know your motivation and reasons for an emotion, or realize why you feel strongly about it? Are you even always aware, or might you be once someone points something out, “Hey, are you doing okay?”

When I reply, “Tell me more about that,” there are many reasons folks need a thank you but believe they don’t. Point number one above is the most common response. Point number two is not wanting to burden the folks they work with and report to. This is particularly common when they see the signs that those people are as or more burnt out than they are. Some grew up in families where “hard work” was a strong virtue, and the family script was that you shouldn’t expect anything more. Some are from an industry where appreciation is not only out of the ordinary, so it’s unfathomable! More about this next.

“We Aren’t an Industry Where Appreciation Happens”

I’m speaking for more and more of these industries, where recognition seems as foreign as AI. Honestly, folks come to me shyly and discreetly telling me, “It’s about time,” but then feel they need to walk a tightrope of appreciating their people without making it too obvious not to rock the boat. They explain that they don’t want to make the “people at the top” look bad by making it even more apparent that they don’t care about their people.

To be clear, we know this is by no means every senior team, but I believe it when people tell me their executives would come down hard on “being soft on your people,” so they’re feeling a moral dilemma of balancing the right thing to do with what is acceptable to do.

Think about it: if, during the day-to-day, you’d be happy not to be scolded for mistakes and not criticized for not measuring up, you have probably learned that keeping your head down is the way to keep it from getting lopped off (metaphorically…read more about this in our Tall Poppy Syndrome article ). Some industries are slowly pivoting, and internal movements, such as the safety folks, are helping to shift that because we realize that without people feeling valued and their voices being heard, we’ll suffer the consequences of quality issues, safety problems, and unaddressed incivility. After all:

• Who would speak up if their voice is cast aside?
• Would you report an incident if the messenger is blamed?
• Who would believe in a psychological safety commitment when everyone knows that a bully who is a high producer never gets dealt with?

Small shifts are still shifts, friends. Keep recognizing even in industries where it’s poorly understood. And know that recognition has been proven to counteract the issues noted in the last paragraph . That said, never tolerate a person or environment compromising your physical or mental health.

“I Had To Prove Myself…So They Should Too”

The last (and there are more…let us know if you would like more on this topic), but certainly not least, is one that I hear about a belief that you have to prove yourself before you get any praise. “The younger generation expects to be thanked for everything.” Actually, they’re just more vocal about it. As we’ve discussed, everyone needs recognition of some form or another, but some of us have just lived so long without it that we’ve stopped asking for or expecting it, and we might have entered the workforce where it was normal that if you’re new, you just follow and don’t ask questions or make statements.?

Isn’t it better to know what people expect? Even if you disagree or aren’t sure you’re aligned, you would probably rather know what an expectation is while they are still there rather than on their way out the door and you’re facing down the daunting prospect of yet another recruitment hunt.

It’s not just younger workers, by the way. People now change jobs 13 times in their lifetime. When I ask for a show of hands, how many folks in my audience have re-trained? On average, half the hands fly up. So, what did the past bosses, industries, and teams miss before those folks left? Some maybe followed their path, but others fled. And that’s not counting the folks who hop within their industry to find a place where they and their work matter.?

When you thank folks, no matter where they’re at in their employment journey, this unequivocal truth is expected because it’s grounded in psychology…

People Work to Prove You Right

Wouldn’t you rather folks work to prove you right about something positive and productive? In the LEAN continuous improvement world, we say that, more often than not, it’s a process issue rather than a people issue. Rule out a process gap before we assume it’s a person or performance issue. Do you know the best one to do that with? The person doing the job. So, connection before correction friends; connect by making work better rather than making someone feel wrong. Be on the same side of the table, which requires appreciation first and improvement next.

What other disputes have you heard in your career about why people don’t feel or get appreciated? What disputes are you dealing with? What resistance do you get to a team with abundant appreciation? Let’s knock those issues off together. Please share them below, and in the meantime, forward this to the folks you’re working with within your team and organization to shift the culture to a recognition-rich, people-first, healthy culture. Reach out if we can help. You’re not in this alone.

Still hungry for more tidbits on why recognition matters?? Snack on these delicious bites:

• Mastering the Art of Recognition: Leap Frog Compliments Show Appreciation
• FROG Fridays – Bringing Recognition Home to Families
• Low Effort, High Impact: Effective Recognition Ideas to Foster Team Appreciation

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Disclaimer/Humble Brag Moment: 100% of this content was human-generated (by us folks here at Greatness Magnified). We are committed to authorship integrity and will inform you what percent, if any, is AI-generated.