Unpredictable Joys

Unpredictable Joys

Final day of the Understanding Human Mind conference in Bucharest. Alfie Chambers and I opened the day sharing a sweet conversation with the audience. We talked about hope and love and freedom and how we are already all the things we want to be. And how anyone can be trapped in the prison of their mind. The feeling was deep and the people moved as they recognised themselves in our sharing. The standing ovation we received was to me, a reflection of our connectedness and the fact that the people saw the truth of themselves and the hope for humanity. 

Personally it was a joy to share with Alfie, always so deep, so real and so humble. I could have listened to him all day. Also a milestone for Beyond Recovery, my first memory of Alfie is 3 years ago. “Oh my God” Alfie said. We were sat in the big group room in Healthcare at HMP Onley. A quiet room, away from the noise of the wings where all the men live and work. Used as a therapy room, it was furnished with blue comfortable chairs and small wooden coffee tables. The water heater on the wall in the small kitchenette bubbled away keeping water hot for our tea breaks. The morning light poured in through the barred windows shining on the blue pen top on the floor in the space between us, as I stood at the flip chart, green marker pen in hand. Dressed in my navy work polo shirt and dark trousers with the obligatory key and radio belt hanging heavy on my hips, my red hair tied back as relief against the humidity of a room with 15 prisoners and 4 staff. I felt self conscious at the interruption. “What is it?” I said. And then I realised. Alfie had had an insight. It was the most evident realisation I had witnessed at that point in my teaching and I remember how he literally lit up from within. His eyes were shining, his face glowing. A fire started in his mind that poured its light into the room. 

Fast forward 3 years and here he is. In Bucharest. Addiction free, physically and psychologically free, contented, generous, kind and loving and sharing with an audience of 100 as if he was born to it. 

Grateful does not do my feeling justice. Thank you Mr Sydney Banks. 

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