Unplugging and Recharging (For Real, Though)

The biggest, most valuable insight I’ve ever learned about thriving as a professional came to me in my late twenties. It wasn’t from my boss, or a mentor. It didn’t even come from a colleague. I learned it from my then-roommate (and still good friend), Tom, who is now a highly successful managing attorney at his own law firm.

He and I met each other at a unique crossroads in the both of our lives. At the time, he was a full time Asst. Dean of law at a prestigious law school and part time professor, teaching law to undergrads in the evenings. I was wrapping up my bachelor degree, which I was pursuing full-time in the evenings — after my full time 8-5 job at Word & Brown, where I am still proudly employed today.

Tom and I had a lot in common - we loved the same music, the same nightlife scenes, the same friends, and getting into the same general shenanigans. I was about 28, and Tom was about 33 or so, and we were both single at the time. We were the best roommates, because we were the best of friends. Honestly, looking back, it is one of the most treasured times of my life.?

We taught a lot of things to each other. We were like each other’s wingman and best bud - helping each other through some rough times, always making sure to encourage each other to do our best.?

While he taught me a lot of things, one thing in particular sticks out.

He taught me to take a break. And not just a little one. I’m talking about a true, meaningful, restful, honest break.??

Our bodies and minds require it. Almost all of us are completely glued to our screens and devices. We are thinking about work constantly, even when we try not to. I’ll bet every person reading this has had more than a few dreams about being in, or being a part of, the workplace. Isn’t that wild!??Our brains are trying to work, even when we are actively trying to rest them.?

The thing is, we are not designed to be machines - endlessly working, to no avail. Machines can go on forever… for the most part, anyway. But even machines require maintenance and safekeeping. Without such care, machines will bust, too.

“Hey team! I’m going on PTO. I will be offline as much as possible while I am away. But I’ll be available by text, or phone if you need me. (And honestly, I’ll also be available on email, Skype, Zoom, Slack, Teams, iMessage, Facebook Messenger, Twitter, TikTok, Instagram, LinkedIn, etc.). Oh, and I will be attending several meetings virtually while I’m on vacation - but, I’ll still be on PTO. Anyway, text me if you need me!”

This has, somehow, become the norm for taking time off in the 2020s. While most of us likely do not consider our PTO (“paid time off” - AKA vacation time) habits this bluntly, with our tongues in our cheeks, most of us seem to agree that this is how PTO is commonly handled. Maybe you are the person who sends this message. What kind of example does it set? Or, maybe you are the team member receiving this message. How does receiving a message like this make you feel about the ways you should be using your own PTO?

Does calling into a non-urgent meeting during your PTO make you look like a rock star? Or, does it make you seem like you can’t take a break - and that others shouldn’t either? Does “replying all” to a work email in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner make you look like a hard worker? Or, does it make others feel anxious - like maybe they should be working on their PTO, too? Even if it is Thanksgiving. I mean, we all have our phones in our hands anyway, right?

I suppose it’s a bunch of different things. Whatever the case, it’s likely that you’ve received (or sent) this message on more than just a few occasions.?

I think a lot of us have learned this approach to PTO by looking upward on the ladder - to leaders higher on the totem pole, at nearly every place any person has ever worked in modern times. We see those leaders announcing PTO, but sending emails throughout their vacations and attending meetings as though they are not on vacation at all. If our boss is working while on PTO, does our boss expect us to do the same? Certainly not (in most cases, anyway). But, will an employee be nonchalantly frowned upon for taking some real time off and fully unplugging? In most cases, no. But, it doesn’t always seem that way.?It’s a slippery slope - and we are falling down that slope with a greater pull than ever, thanks to our new “at-home,” always-plugged-in-and-available work habits. #ThanksCOVID

Have you ever considered why an employer gives PTO to employees in the first place??

Employers benefit greatly from offering PTO packages to their employees. Well, they’re supposed to, anyway…?

Of course, offering a generous PTO package will help an employer attract and retain top-talent. But there’s much more to it, which a lot of us miss.

Employers realize their employees are not machines, and need some time off.??Without time off, employees are less happy, more stressed, less motivated, and cannot perform their jobs well.?Employers gain the benefit of stronger, better performing employees when they provide them with PTO benefits.?

But if we don’t use our PTO benefits to take an?actual break, we are not only doing a disservice to ourselves — we are also cheating our employer. In a way, we are denying the return our employers deserve for offering their employees PTO to begin with.?

Not using our PTO as intended backfires on ourselves, our productivities, our teams, our colleagues, our customers, and our employers. And, on our families and friends who we might have wanted to enjoy our PTO with in the first place.

I am absolutely a better employee, stronger performer, and happier person when I get to take restful, meaningful breaks.?

When I allow myself time to unplug, and truly take a break, my body and mindset rejuvenate. I become more grounded in myself, and in my own values. I detach from everyday stressors, and intentionally indulge?in myself. When I’m back from my PTO, I am performing at my absolute best. Everyone benefits from it - especially me, my family, my company, my team, and customers/colleagues.

But I have not always had this mindset. I used to be the person who would take PTO, but would be available on email, and every other form of communication available. And, I was that guy who’d reply to the most unimportant, “it can wait” emails while I was away. Like most people, I was addicted to the notifications on my phone. I would take “time off” - but it wasn’t time off at all. I would come back to work not rested, still stressed, and in greater need of PTO than I was when I tried to take PTO to begin with. I couldn’t perform as well at work.?I felt burned out, and the rat race would continue.?

“What do you mean you aren’t available whatsoever when you’re on PTO?!” I asked Tom.

“I mean that I am taking a?break?so that I can be a better version of myself - for me and for everyone I interact with. And, so we can have fun in Las Vegas with our peeps at the Rihanna concert?and not think about work!”

Tom was right.??(That Rihanna concert was so much fun, BTW).

And today, as I reflect on myself in my own position of leadership - and where I am on the “totem pole” professionally - I realize that others are looking up at me. They’re learning habits by watching - and hearing from - me.?

I want everyone to know what Tom taught me.

Take. A. Real. Break.??Don’t cheat yourself, your family, your friends or your employer.

And remember, people are always learning from the examples you set - no matter who you are, or what position you have. We all need some R&R, time to unwind, destress, and enjoy the short time we have on this planet.

Now when I go on vacation, I remove my work email and calendar from my personal phone. And, my work mobile does not go on vacation with me. It is truly freeing.?It reminds me of how the Genie must’ve felt at the end of Aladdin. (And to remind you, when he is freed, he goes to Disneyland for some R&R himself!)

I just came back from 16 full calendar days off of work (two full weeks of PTO). I went deep into the jungles of Costa Rica, and I unplugged?entirely. I’d never taken so much time off work, and certainly had never ignored my email and social media for as long as I just did.??But, I’m glad I did it.??

I feel rested, rejuvenated, hopeful, and grateful.?

I am thankful to have had a break for myself - to unwind, and take a rest from my “everyday.”

I am thankful to have reconnected with my partner Joey, celebrating our anniversary and birthdays while we were away and unplugged together.?We sure have fun together.

I am thankful to now be an even better performer and contributor in the workplace.

I am thankful for the gift of travel. I believe that experience and exposure to other people, cultures, and languages are the keys to embracing diversity and solving the world’s problems. It encourages growth, curiosity, and humility. And, I am a better communicator because of it.

I am thankful to be able to enjoy life as Paul Roberts, the human.?

And, I am thankful to share this bit of insight with you - and to anyone else who is paying attention, while I’m in the office, or out of the office.?

My Out-of-Office said that I was out of the country, unplugged and on an adventure - and I’d be back in two weeks. I ended it with a saying that applies to literally every situation imaginable in Costa Rica:?Pura vida.?

It basically means Hakuna Matata, and translates to “pure life.”??That’s what I was doing on vacation.?I was living a pure, unplugged, magical, resetting, refreshing, and rejuvenating pure life. I am better because of it.

Pura vida, indeed.