Unplugging to Lead - Embracing Days Off in the Life of a Manager

Navigating the high-wire act of management in any industry, especially in the bustling world of hospitality, is akin to being a performer who’s always on call. The role of General Managers and managers in this sphere is not just pivotal; it’s practically the axis on which the entire operation spins. Yet, there’s an unsung element in the symphony of management that often goes unnoticed—the art of truly stepping away, of fully embracing those precious days off. It’s a lesson that unfolds gradually, often painfully, for many in the throes of their careers.

Take it from someone who’s been in the trenches for over two decades, where the lines between work and life blurred into a single, indistinguishable smudge. It seemed an unspoken rule: to be a manager is to be perennially switched on, always a call away from solving the next crisis. There was a time when my days off were mythical creatures—spoken of but rarely seen. They were often spent catching up on paperwork, finalizing liquor invoices, or mapping out the intricate dance of FOH (Front of House) and BOH (Back of House) employee schedules. The notion of a ‘day off’ became a work-from-home day, just in different attire.

But it was more than just the workload that took its toll. I found myself neglecting the very fabric of my personal life—my marriage. My relationship with my husband had become a casualty of my unyielding commitment to work. He carried on with life, engaging in simple joys like fishing, cooking, and walking our dog—activities I watched from the sidelines, tethered to my laptop and phone. The realization hit hard; I was burnt out, exhausted, and living a life devoid of actually living.

A piece of advice then echoed in my mind, a nugget of wisdom that had lost its way amidst the cacophony of daily responsibilities: “What’s the point in having a life if you’re not living it?” This question, simple yet profound, became the catalyst for change. I began to inch towards the life that had been waiting patiently for me to notice it. Fishing wasn’t just a hobby; it became a lesson in patience and presence. Cooking with my husband evolved into a dance of flavors and laughter, a far cry from the orchestrated chaos of a restaurant kitchen. And walking the dog? It was a masterclass in mindfulness, in appreciating the world in its myriad hues, one step at a time.

The guilt, however, was a tenacious shadow. Stepping away, even for a day, felt like a betrayal—a letting down of the team and the establishment that depended on me. It was a narrative I had authored, one where the restaurant’s success hinged solely on my unbroken presence. But therein lay the fallacy. How could I helm the ship if I was too worn to steer it? How could I inspire a team if I had lost sight of my own spark?

The journey towards balance is not a solitary one; it demands trust in the collective strength of the team. Trust that they can, indeed, manage without you for a day. It's a leap of faith, but one that is essential for the health of the manager and the vitality of the business. A well-rested leader brings more to the table—creativity, focus, and a renewed passion. These are the intangibles that fuel a team, that transform a good establishment into a great one.

This realization doesn’t come easy, nor does it negate the inherent sense of responsibility managers feel towards their roles. After 20 years, the pang of guilt for taking time off still surfaces. Yet, it’s countered by a deeper understanding that to lead effectively, to truly serve your team and your patrons, you must first serve yourself. It’s about finding harmony in the discord, about recognizing that stepping away isn’t a sign of weakness but of wisdom.

In the grand tapestry of management, days off are not just pauses; they are opportunities for rejuvenation, reflection, and reconnection with the world beyond the workplace. They remind us that we are not just custodians of a business but participants in the vast, beautiful endeavor called life. And it’s in this space, in the quiet moments away from the demands of leadership, that we find the strength to return, not just to do our jobs, but to excel at them, to inspire those around us, and to remember why we embarked on this journey in the first place.

So, to my fellow managers navigating the tempestuous seas of the hospitality industry, remember this: your worth is not measured by the constancy of your work but by the quality of your leadership and the life you lead outside the confines of your role. Embrace your days off with the same fervor you bring to your work. After all, what’s the point of having a life if you’re not living it?