Unpacking Racial Identity as a Transracial Adoptee

Given November is National Adoption Month, we wanted to highlight some of the stories from transracial adoptees and the intricate complexities that come with trying to unpack one’s own racial identity and sense of self, including one from our very own JBC family.?

Sophie Bales (she/her), our Community Manager, was adopted from China almost exactly 22 years ago. Below she describes what being adopted into a transracial family was like from her perspective and the internal battles she struggled with when it came to her own racial identity and belonging:???

“For those who may be unfamiliar with the term, transracial adoption, also known as interracial or transcultural adoption, is when a child of one race or ethnic group is placed with an adoptive parent or parents of a different race or ethnic group. According to a survey from the Department of Health and Human Services, more than 40% of adoptions are transracial.?

When I was approximately one month old, I was found outside the entrance of a glass making factory. The people who worked there called the police and I was taken to the local orphanage in Zhuzhou, China. Nine months later, I was adopted by a single, White mother and together, we created a family of three: Me, my mom, and my sister (who was also adopted from China two years earlier).?

Growing up with a White mom while looking anything but was oftentimes confusing and difficult for me to confront. I experienced feelings of confusion, self-hatred (or more specifically identity-hatred), and no real sense of belonging. I was from China and I looked Chinese, but I didn’t feel like I truly belonged in the Chinese community. However, I definitely didn’t look White and therefore I didn’t feel like I could say I was a part of that group either. I felt like I was stuck in limbo between these two identities and didn’t have a deep attachment to either.?

A majority of my life I spent trying to run away and ignore who I was, where I came from, and what I looked like. I didn’t want to be Chinese, I wanted to be White. Wanting something so badly but knowing you could never have it, no matter how hard you tried, was mentally and emotionally damaging to say the least. My mom did her best to bring Chinese culture, history, and traditions into our lives, but both my sister and I had little interest — I’m guessing for similar reasons. In a world that favors the White majority, it’s almost impossible to not want to be a part of the favored group.?

It has taken me 22 years to finally start accepting my Chinese identity. As with any internalized way of thinking, it is a slow process to counteract and fight against, however being involved with the DEI community over the past year, witnessing increased Asian representation on screens and in the media, and having open and honest conversations about my story with friends, family, and colleagues have made this experience significantly easier and more meaningful.?

This is only a small glimpse into my story as a transracial adoptee. Every adoption story is different and unique in its own way. I invite anyone who is comfortable to share their own story and identities if they are a part of this community, and to provide any resources that we all can use to learn more about this lens.?

Here are two resources I would recommend to learn more about transracial adoptions:?

1. This short episode from the podcast, Code Switch, brings on voices from transracial adoptees and discusses how this experience has shaped their racial identity and sense of belonging. Listen/read here .?
2. The book, Wanting a Daughter, Needing a Son: Abandonment, Adoption, and Orphanage Care in China, by Kay Ann Johnson. Order here .?

Thank you to those who took the time to read my story and for allowing me to be vulnerable with you all. And a huge thank you to JBC for encouraging me to share my experience and giving me the platform to do so. I hope my story inspires others to share theirs as well with the world, and if anything, reminds someone that they are not alone.”??

Stay tuned for more personal DEI stories from our JBC team members in 2022.?

#transracialadoption #adoption #adoptionawareness #belonging #Diversity #Equity #Inclusion #diversityequityinclusion #vulnerability #jenniferbrownconsulting