Unpacking the Need to Be Liked
Regina Carey, M.Ed.
Infusing JOY into People, Companies, and Communities! I teach people how to TAKE ACTION on their lives by slowing down to move forward. Speaker * Coach * Neurodiversity Specialist
“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” - Eleanor Roosevelt
Just when I think I've mastered?"I don't care what other people think of me," something happens that exposes a gap in my belief system.
This weekend, I got away for a wonderful trip to the water. Did you know I love the water? It's where I find peace, joy, and restoration. In addition to the serenity of the water, I celebrated a wonderful human's graduation from high school. I held him as a baby, and now I embrace him as a young man.
Amidst the happiness, I encountered someone I met years ago in one of my empowerment programs. After exchanging pleasantries, I turned to my husband and said, "She unsubscribed from my Monday Messages." [This very thing you're reading.] My reaction was immediate—shock and surprise. "WHAT WAS THAT?!" I wondered.
That reaction took me back to a time when I would open every email notification of a subscriber's unsubscription, questioning what I had done wrong. For the past four years, I've chosen to delete those emails and send a silent, loving wish, thanking them for our time together.
Ultimately, I took a deep breath, smiled at my memory, and sent her a silent loving wish. All is well, and there is still work to be done.
TAKE-ACTION: Recognize when you experience the need to be liked. It's a tricky one, because it is so deep inside us. Take a deep breath. Noticing IS the action.
Make it a strong day! ??????
Attended Bugema University
4 个月Good insight!
Founder, ACT Now Life Coaching. Guiding Women Navigating Change
5 个月Great quote by Eleanor Roosevelt. Thanks for the reminder, Regina. Yes, taking a deep breath can make a big difference. Stopping to Notice what we're Noticing too.
Writing coach, developmental editor, Author: Easy Walks series, Outdoors Accessibility
5 个月These people-pleaser habits are well-worn grooves for many of us (me included). Helpful to shine the spotlight on the topic, and remind us how these impulses can really coompromise our interactions with strangers, loved ones and people we have not encoutnered for a long time.
[email protected] Planning a visit to the Petoskey area? I am happy to assist you!
5 个月This is also a big one for me...actually, more like a HUGE one for me! Always something to keep working on.... ??
Coach | Strategist | Facilitator
5 个月A great reminder of how to question ones' own thoughts. Makes me think of one of my favorite quotes, "The greatest problems I ever faced are the ones that never happened." a version of quote by Mark Twain