Unpacking the Five Most Common Unhelpful Responses to Employee Feedback

There are five common responses that leaders often exhibit when faced with feedback or concerns from our teams, responses that inadvertently damage trust and hinder effective communication.

The first response is defensive. When we hear feedback that suggests we don't care about our teams or understand their struggles, the immediate instinct is to defend our position, perspective, or experience. While this may stem from a genuine desire to express care, it often shuts down the conversation before it even begins, preventing the invaluable exchange of perspectives.

The second response is dismissive, also known as minimizing. In an attempt to validate the other person's feelings, we might end up downplaying the severity of the situation, saying things like "It's not really that bad" or "I've been in your shoes, and it gets better." Unfortunately, this response unintentionally dismisses the other person’s experiences, perspectives, and emotions, undermining the trust that should be the foundation of the conversation.

Consoling, the third response, involves trying to make someone feel better. While consoling may seem like a compassionate reaction, it can come off as trivializing. Phrases like "Don't let it bother you" or "Look on the bright side" may fail to acknowledge the person's feelings and the importance of their concerns, further eroding trust.

The fourth response is problem solving. As leaders, we are natural problem solvers and can feel compelled to offer solutions immediately. However, our eagerness to fix things quickly can hinder genuine listening. Jumping into solution mode without fully understanding the problem may make the person feel steamrolled and unheard, ultimately damaging the trust in the relationship.

The fifth response is conclusive. This occurs when we believe we have the answer to the problem without fully grasping the nuances. Making conclusive statements based on assumptions or personal experiences, such as "I know what's going on here" or "Well, that's just what people are like," can lead to misunderstandings and a lack of trust.

Recognizing and addressing these common responses is crucial for leaders to foster an environment of open communication, trust, and understanding within our teams. Learning to navigate difficult conversations with empathy and active listening ensures a more positive and productive workplace dynamic.

Stephen de Groot is President and CoFounder at Brivia. He is the author of Responsive Leadership (SAGE, 2016) and Getting to Better: A New Model for Elevating Human Potential at Work and in Life, (Spring 2024). To learn more about Stephen, his work and the Brivia approach click HERE.