Unmasking a sexual predator

The confessions from all the brave women who’ve come forward in light of the Harvey Weinstein scandal and the allegations around sexual harassment within the UK Parliament have led to even more women speaking out about their own experiences of sexual assault. The #MeToo campaign shed a light on this topic, and anyone who didn’t know just how prevalent this issue is can no longer be blind to how widespread and problematic sexual misconduct is.

Assault is assault whether it’s in the gilded cage of Hollywood, the Houses of Parliament or in the everyday life of people who have never been near a casting couch.

For example - In 2013, a woman who worked as a traffic controller was sexually harassed by one of her male coworkers. For five months she had to deal with his sexual comments, questions, gestures, and noises. One day, after he unintentionally saw a particular picture of her on her phone, she had to spend the rest of the day seeing him rub his groin with his tongue sticking out. He also continued the harassment by making sucking noises at her. The woman quit later that night.

This is just one example, but it shows us that women and men like this across the globe have to deal with unwanted advances, sexual manipulation, intimidation and rape.

After hearing about how Weinstein was able to get away with abusing women for decades, some might wonder how this was possible. Why would the women who were assaulted keep quiet for years? And why would the people who knew that he was a sexual predator not do anything to stop him? There are many reasons why people would fail to come forward or stop him, but I’m going to focus on three important explanations.

1. The Halo Effect

The halo effect occurs when someone’s general impression of an individual affects how they think and feel about their character. You may think somebody is a nice person. And because you think they’re nice, you will be more likely to also think that they are smart, funny, or a host of any other positive characteristics. The problem with this is that we make these assumptions before getting confirmation about whether they’re accurate or not.

This can be applied to Harvey Weinstein and prominent members of parliament now being accused of sexual harassment. If any of the women ever confessed to somebody before now, their confidants may not have believed that he would be capable of doing something like that. If they were legitimately unaware of Weinstein’s womanising ways for example, then it would be hard for them to believe that someone who supports noble causes like aids research and women’s rights would ever do something so despicable.

Although the halo effect is something that we experience, you can avoid becoming prey to it. When you’re aware that you have this bias then you can also make the effort to stop yourself from making these types of generalisations before it gets to a dangerous place like it did with Weinstein. Your co-worker who makes everyone laugh, feeds the homeless on the weekend, tutors kids in his spare time, and treats you with respect, may also be a sexual predator. So when another coworker comes to you and tells you that he has been sexually abusing her, don’t just write her off because of his good qualities. He may be all of these other good things, and he might also be a sexual predator.

Just to be clear, people can be all those good things and never even dream of abusing another person. My point is that people are rarely all good or all bad so it’s important to be aware of the Halo Effect.

Obedience to Authority

Stanley Milgram, a psychologist from Yale, sought to discover if people really could do something unspeakable just because they were ordered to do it. In his experiment, a participant, who he called “the teacher,” would ask “the learner” a series of questions. When the learner failed to answer the question correctly he would get an electric shock that the teacher would administer. Each time he failed to answer subsequent questions accurately, the voltage would increase. The level of the shock went up to 450 volts.  An experimenter who was dressed in a lab coat would tell the teacher to keep administering the increased voltages even though he could hear the learner screaming out in pain. Even when the learner went silent, the experimenter would still tell the teacher that he had to continue.

The teacher didn’t know this, but the learner was in on the nature of the study and was simply acting. The experimenter was also an actor.

The results showed that 65% of participants administered the lethal voltage, and all of them went up to 300 volts. This demonstrates that ordinary people will most likely follow instructions when an authority figure tells them to do something. Since then, versions of his experiment have been replicated with variations and the results still ring true.

Harvey Weinstein was a big wig in Hollywood. He was responsible for a lot of people’s careers. If they witnessed him or heard about him being accused of raping women, they would potentially be unlikely to report him because he was an authority figure, and, because of his controlling nature, he told them not to.

It’s important to listen to authority figures for the right reasons. When someone makes you feel uncomfortable, listen to your gut feelings, leave the situation and when appropriate report the person to the relevant authorities.

“Boys will be Boys” – times are changing

Gender roles are norms put in place by a given society that dictate what types of behaviours are considered acceptable and desirable for men and women. These expectations are what can make many parents praise their young boys for “rough and tumble” behaviours, and they are the same misguided standards that cause us to tell young girls how they should act. Part of sexual harassment culture stems from the idea that it’s “okay” for “boys to be boys.” It’s “alright” for men to be sexually inappropriate towards women because it’s just part of who they are.  Thankfully these norms and stereotypes are being challenged and younger generations are growing up with a much stronger sense of right and wrong in this regard.  The prevalence of these outdated norms however, has a part to play in creating the situations that we’re seeing emerge now and in the past.

The problem with this outdated yet prevalent thinking is that it promotes an environment where the victims don’t want to come forward and accuse their harasser.  The reason many of the women who were assaulted by Weinstein stayed silent for so long was because of this toxic mentality. It’s the same reason that when your coworker touches you inappropriately, you might not want to tell anybody about it because your other coworkers may tell you that you’re just overacting. They may even try to place the blame on you.

The thing is, it’s never the victim’s fault, and language like “boys will be boys” and “lady like,” lets the victims think that it is. As soon as we acknowledge the damaging effects that this type of language can have, then we can change and help to create an environment where people who are assaulted feel safe enough to come forward and report the abuse. Eliminating this type of language, and clearly showing that it will not be tolerated, will start to change things.  Once the language and tone has improved, then actions will speak louder than words.  As soon as inappropriate behaviour is called out, then those in positions of authority need to take swift action and let people know what they are doing about it.  They also need to make sure that they are giving people ongoing support, guidance and a safe outlet for people to communicate what’s going on.

We’re all different. Some people will want to talk about it (i.e.  some extroverts), others won’t (i.e. some introverts).  They key is to find the appropriate tools and communications choices to enable everyone to express themselves, in confidence, in a way that they feel comfortable with.

The Take Home

Harvey Weinstein’s lude behaviour was not the fault of the people around him. He is 100% responsible for his actions, and there are measures that everyone can take to make sure that sexual predators like him have less victims to claim. When you’re aware of the influence of; 1) the halo effect, 2) the obedience to authority, and 3) gender roles and stereotypes in your own life and of people around you, then you’re one step closer to unmasking sexual predators at work and at home and knowing what to do about it.

Emoquo

Emoquo provides employees with real world solutions to the problems that they experience in the workplace, in confidence, 24/7. Sexual harassment in the workplace is a horrific reality, and there are ways for people to deal with it. Through Emoquo's confidential digital coaching app, employees can learn how to address these behaviours at work so that they no longer have to feel anxious and powerless as they navigate their daily work environment.

@emoquo

@arappoport

References:

https://www.adcq.qld.gov.au/resources/case-studies/sexual-harassment-case-studies

https://www.verywell.com/what-is-the-halo-effect-2795906

https://simplypsychology.org/milgram.html

https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/gender_role