Women Are Also Guilty of This!

Unmasking Patriarchy’s Deadly Grip

Who & What Inspired This Article?

Who? Janine Rees and her brilliant post

What? My subsequent rage and indignation when the below comment appeared!

It prompted me to think of what it was that I could possibly do to bring it all into one comprehensive piece that could hopefully get us men to a place where we literally stop being the ignorant gaffs we tend to be. I had just finished watching the BBC 's documentary on Kat Torres and I had been mulling over how to address the Kyle Clifford triple murder and how it all links to the underlying patriarchal weaponization and perversion of #Control, #Influence and #Coercion and what men do when it escapes them and how it is internalised by us all and also women in the case of Kat Torres. I hope this analysis/report and subsequent resources will serve to show that the need to dismantle patriarchy is very real and more importantly VERY URGENT & VERY NECESSARY!

The Kyle Clifford and Kat Torres Stories:

You’ve seen it before. A woman shares her experience or highlights an issue rooted in patriarchy, and like clockwork, a man pops into the comments to say, "But women do these things too!" This knee-jerk reaction is not just frustrating; it’s emblematic of a profound ignorance and lack of introspective education on the very systems that shape our society. The stories of Kyle Clifford and Kat Torres starkly remind us how deeply patriarchy permeates our world and how it drives even women to subjugate other women. This article aims to highlight these ignorant reactions for what they are and to call for a radical shift in how we educate ourselves and each other about patriarchy.

The Kyle Clifford Incident

Kyle Clifford, a 26-year-old former soldier, committed a brutal triple murder in Bushey, Hertfordshire. The victims were Carol Hunt, 61, and her daughters, Hannah, 28, and Louise, 25. Clifford, reportedly in a relationship with Louise, used a crossbow to carry out the attack. This tragic event has not only devastated a family but also highlighted the urgent need to re-examine and tighten regulations around dangerous weapons like crossbows (The Independent) (Yahoo News - Latest News & Headlines) (Yahoo News - Latest News & Headlines).

Who is Kat Torres?

Kat Torres's rise from extreme poverty to international model and wellness influencer captivated women worldwide. She presented herself as a beacon of hope, but behind the perfectly curated Instagram posts lay a dark reality. She manipulated and exploited vulnerable women, enforcing subservience through emotional and psychological control. This behaviour, although perpetrated by a woman, is deeply rooted in patriarchal norms that value dominance and control.

The Influence of Patriarchy

Patriarchy is not just about men oppressing women; it's a pervasive system that influences all aspects of society, including how women interact with each other. Both Kyle Clifford’s and Kat Torres’s actions are clear examples of this:

1. Emotional Manipulation: Kat made her followers believe that their self-worth was tied to her approval. This mirrors how patriarchal systems condition women to seek validation from male authority figures. Similarly, Clifford’s controlling behaviour towards his relationship highlights the toxic masculinity perpetuated by patriarchy.
2. Economic Control: By controlling the finances of her followers, Kat mirrored the economic control that patriarchal societies often exert over women, limiting their independence.
3. Spiritual and Psychological Abuse: Kat’s use of witchcraft and spiritual manipulation to exert control is a modern twist on historical patriarchal practices where women were often accused of witchcraft to justify their subjugation.

The Absurdity of "But Women Do It Too"

When men argue that women also commit abuses, they ignore the systemic context. Yes, women can be abusers, but the scale and impact of male-perpetrated violence are overwhelmingly higher. According to global statistics, femicide and gender-based violence predominantly affect women, with men being the primary perpetrators. The idea that men don’t report abuse due to shame is itself a product of patriarchal norms that stigmatize vulnerability in men. This shame is weaponized by the very system these men fail to recognize. (The Independent) (Yahoo News - Latest News & Headlines) (Yahoo News - Latest News & Headlines).

Women Subjugating Women

One of the most insidious aspects of patriarchy is its ability to co-opt women into enforcing its norms. Kat Torres, despite being a woman, adopted and enforced behaviours that kept other women subservient to her. This paradox is critical; even as a woman, Kat used patriarchal tactics to maintain control and assert dominance.

The Urgency for Radical Education

To combat such tragedies, we must implement radical education on patriarchy’s impacts. Boys and men need to understand how patriarchal systems not only harm women but also perpetuate a cycle of violence and repression that affects everyone. This education should include:

• Critical Thinking: Encouraging men to move beyond knee-jerk reactions and engage in thoughtful analysis of societal structures.
• Comprehensive Education: Integrating discussions about patriarchy and gender violence into school curriculums and public discourse.
• Introspection and Accountability: Promoting self-reflection among men to recognize and dismantle their own biases and behaviours.
• Active Dismantling: Supporting policies and practices that challenge and dismantle patriarchal structures in all areas of life.

Conclusion

The stories of Kyle Clifford and Kat Torres are not just about individual acts of violence; they are stark reminders of how deeply entrenched patriarchy is in our society. These tragedies highlight the need for a profound societal shift towards understanding and dismantling patriarchy. Men must step up, educate ourselves, and take active roles in promoting equality and justice.

Ignorance is no longer an excuse; it's time for informed action.

Educating Ourselves: Evidence & Resources

Patriarchy Enforced by LinkedIn and Executed by LinkedIn Help :

Patriarchy Embedded in History & Language:

The Real life Consequences of Slowly Does It:

Patriarchy & The Intrinsic Relationship With Male Privilege:

More Patriarchy on LinkedIn: Protecting Toxic Masculinity With #DARVO

Patriarchy & The Loss of Trans Lives:

Patriarchy in Media & Misinformation by Media Influencers:

Denialism a Pillar of Patriarchy Upholding Male Unaccountability:

Ignorance in 2024 For Any Man Capable of Reading Is a Choice:

Patriarchy and Women's Bodily Autonomy:

Manterrupting an Ingrained Trait Of Patriarchy:

The UN Perspective:

With Patriarchy.... No One Truly Wins:

Resource for Self-Learning One's Way Out Of Toxic Masculinity

Download The UN Women's Training Centre Resource:

Self-Learning Booklet: Understanding Masculinities and Violence Against Women and Girls

Other Sources used:

1. The Role of Patriarchy in Society
2. Manipulation Tactics in Cults
3. Economic Control and Financial Abuse
4. Social Media and Psychological Manipulation

About the Author

I am Mervyn Kennedy-MacFoy a Learning & Development Specialist and a passionate advocate for social justice, with a focus on dismantling systemic inequalities and supporting marginalized communities. Connect with me on LinkedIn for more insights and discussions on these critical issues and L&D consultancy and or insights.

Disclaimer:?The opinions and points of view expressed in this article are those of Mervyn Kennedy-MacFoy. They are in no way representative of any previous, current, future, clients or employers he has been, is or will be affiliated with.

Read some of my other articles:

IS FRANCE RACIST?

P.DIDDY - Male Denialism: A Weapon of Injustice

THE SEEDS OF RAPE CULTURE: OUR COLLECTIVE RESPONSIBILITY

THE POWER OF UNDERSTANDING & ACCEPTING CHANGE

10 Learner Centred Design Questions

SPEAK THE TRUTH!

SHARING FOR CHANGE