Unmasking Myself: My Journey Toward Autism Acceptance

A decade ago, the word 'autistic' wasn't a part of my vocabulary—at least, not in relation to myself. For years, even after the label was suggested to me, I met it with skepticism. "What do they know?" I'd think, dismissing the idea that it could apply to me. There was a stubborn resistance, a refusal to see myself in the diagnosis presented. Yet, beneath it all, there was also a quiet, persistent knowing, a sense of recognition within me that I wasn't ready to face.

The turning point came unexpectedly, with the rise of TikTok. It was there, amidst an ocean of voices sharing their experiences, that I found stories eerily similar to my own. Each one, rather than just being a piece of content, felt like an invitation into a community I didn't know I needed. Prompted by this, I sought out online communities where I could talk, learn, share my story, and be heard. What I found was a welcoming embrace, a group of people who helped me navigate my story with kindness and understanding. This wasn't just about watching videos—it was about engaging, questioning, and being part of a conversation that celebrated our differences and shared challenges.

This journey wasn't marked by a singular moment of revelation but rather a gradual unfolding over more than at least five years, a series of realizations that led me to accept and understand my autism. With acceptance came a lot of BIG emotions—relief, grief, and ultimately, a profound sense of self-discovery. I grieved for the misunderstandings and misdiagnoses, for the years spent masking to fit into a world that wasn't designed for me. Yet, I also celebrated the unmasking, the liberation of meeting myself fully for the first time, beyond labels and societal expectations.

After embracing my identity within this newfound community, I began to navigate the intricate process of grieving and growth. This journey was not just about coming to terms with the label of autism but also about mourning the misunderstandings that had tinted my life for so long. For every misdiagnosis, every moment of feeling out of place, there was a story of resilience waiting to be acknowledged. I grieved for the years spent trying to conform to expectations that were never meant for me, and in doing so, I began to uncover a well of strength within myself. It was through acknowledging these challenges that I found the courage to advocate for my needs and seek environments that recognized, affirmed and celebrated my unique contributions.

My professional life served as a testament to this transformation. The encounter with Hatch was a pivotal moment, marking the beginning of a journey towards true inclusion. When I was approached with the opportunity to join their team last year, I was upfront about my needs and boundaries. "I have a lot of needs, and they are non-negotiable in many ways. I'm autistic, queer, and disabled. There's a lot going on, and I don't know if this is the right place for me. Do you have the structures to support me?" The response I received was both daunting and hopeful: "I don't know what it means to be an inclusive employer, but I'm willing to learn." This openness to understanding and adapting was more than I had dared to hope for. It signified a step forward not just for me, but for the broader mission of fostering inclusivity in the workplace.

Together, we embarked on a journey to push the boundaries of what it means to be an inclusive employer at Hatch & Hatch Mediahouse. This work is ongoing, and change comes slowly, but witnessing the commitment to creating opportunities for everyone, regardless of their background or needs, has been heartwarming. It underscores the reality that the journey towards inclusivity is continuous, and every step forward is a piece of a much larger puzzle of systemic change.

As I share my story more publicly, particularly on World Autism Acceptance Day, there are many mixed emotions. There's a sense of vulnerability in opening up about my identity, but there's also immense power in authenticity. My journey from skepticism to acceptance, from isolation to community, and from self-doubt to self-advocacy reflects a broader narrative shared by many in the autistic community. It's a narrative of resilience, discovery, and, most importantly, hope.

In embracing my autism, I've not only begun to understand myself better but also the world around me. Autism, with its challenges and strengths, has shaped my perspective in unique ways, allowing me to contribute to conversations and initiatives with insights that might otherwise be overlooked. My work and our collective efforts to push for a more inclusive and understanding world are just the beginning. Change is slow, and the path ahead is long, but it's a path I'm committed to walking, knowing the importance of each step we take together.

As I share my story, I'm deeply aware of the privileges I carry and how they've shaped my journey. Access to certain platforms, the ability to articulate my experiences, and finding inclusive opportunities are privileges that not everyone has. I am mindful of this and grateful for the spaces that have allowed me to grow and be heard.

I also want to emphasize that my story is just that—mine. In the autism community, we often say, "If you've met one autistic person, you've met one autistic person." This highlights the vastness of the spectrum, where each individual's experiences, challenges, and strengths are uniquely their own. My narrative is shared from my perspective, informed by my lived experiences. It's a single thread in a rich and diverse tapestry of autistic lives.

In sharing my story, my hope is not to speak for all autistic individuals but to add my voice to the chorus calling for acceptance, understanding, and inclusion. I encourage others to seek out and listen to a wide range of autistic voices, as each one enriches our understanding of what it means to live life on the spectrum.

Looking forward, my hope is not just for greater awareness but for genuine acceptance and appreciation of neurodiversity. Autism has always been a part of the human experience, and recognizing its value is crucial for building a more inclusive society. By sharing my story, I hope you get a small look into it means to be autistic, highlighting that we are not defined solely by our neurology but by our humanity, our passions, and our contributions.

As we celebrate World Autism Acceptance Day/Week/Month, let's commit to expanding our perceptions, to embracing diversity in all its forms, and to recognizing the strengths that lie in our differences. For me, this day is not just about awareness; it's a celebration of identity, a call to action for inclusivity, and a reminder of the joy in discovering one's true self. I'm proud to be autistic, and I'm excited about the opportunities and challenges that lie ahead, not just for me but for our community and the world at large.