Unmasking Fear: 3 Ways to Stop Scaring Yourself at Work

Happy Halloween!

Today, we’re talking about fear. Not the spooky haunted house kind, but that deeper, more insidious undercurrent of fear that often shapes our perspectives and limits our sense of possibility.

I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with Halloween.?

Of course, I love the candy (especially the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups). But since hiding away in my cousin’s bedroom at nine years old secretly watching “Children of the Corn,” I absolutely h-a-t-e being scared.?

Yet, something about this holiday always leaves me musing about the masks we wear the rest of the year.

The ways we armor up in costumes to protect and hide.

And the ways we invariably end up scaring ourselves.?

The Problem with Fear-driven Work?

For many of us, fear is a constant undercurrent that shapes our work decisions, actions, and attitudes. This is especially true for those of us who have encountered toxic environments or scary people.?

The problem, however, is that working (and living) from perpetual fear drains us. It diminishes our voices, ideas, and possibilities.

I'd never realized just how deeply fear underpinned my work until after a layoff several years ago. In the year-long “sabbatical” that followed, I began to dig into my work story (with the help of a therapist).

I got curious about how fear had shaped my experience — both in my 9-5 job and in my personal creative expression.?From that, what emerged was a few key patterns and ideas about how to move beyond the fear...

3 Ways to Stop Scaring Yourself

1. Separate Facts from Fiction

Our fears often come from the stories we tell ourselves, but those stories aren’t always true. Fear can make us jump to conclusions or assume the worst, leaving us trapped in a web of self-doubt.?

Imagine being at work, sensing tension from a boss or a colleague, and immediately assuming you’re the cause.

You start wondering, “Did I say something wrong?” or “Did I mess up?”?

But most of the time, the internal story we create has nothing to do with the facts of reality.

In these moments, step back and ask, “What’s really happening here?” Start by identifying the facts — what you truly know versus what you’re assuming.

By separating fact from fiction, you reclaim control over the narrative, diffusing much of the fear.?

2. Shift from Fear to Curiosity

Fear can be immobilizing, freezing us in patterns of overthinking, avoiding conflict, or people-pleasing to keep the peace. But there’s a powerful way to shift: curiosity.?

Curiosity is the middle ground between fear and love. It invites us to explore possibilities without the pressure to have all the answers.

When fear starts to rise, try asking yourself open-ended questions: “What if I tried this?”

“What would happen if I approached this differently?”

“Could there be another explanation?”?

Curiosity creates breathing room, giving us a fresh perspective.?Like when you’re at the grocery store trying to find your favorite salad dressing. Sometimes you can't see things when you're too close. So you have to take a step back to see all the options on the shelf.?

Similarly, curiosity lets us see the bigger picture — one in which we can open to new ways forward.

(Check out my Getting Unstuck video for a little help.)

3. Recognize Fear as a Companion, Not the Driver

As much as we’d love to banish fear entirely, the truth is, fear is a natural part of the human experience.

In her book Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert shares how she has worked with fear throughout her writing career. She explains how she sat down one day to write a letter to her fear — that it’s welcome to be part of her creative journey but can’t sit in the driver’s seat.?

By acknowledging fear instead of fighting it, we allow fear to coexist with us, without giving it power.

So, the next time fear shows up, don’t push it away.

Acknowledge it and then remind yourself of Liz's mantra: “Fear can come along, but it doesn’t get to steer the wheel.”

As you sift through the Halloween candy and head into the holidays, I invite you to consider where you might be scaring yourself at work.

If it's any consolation, remember that we’re all haunted by our own unique fears. But we don’t have to let them control us.?

We can step out of the shadows, reclaim our creative power, and express more of who we came here to be.

Until next time...