Unmask your Inner Imposter

spoiler .. if you just want the one sentence solution ... it is in the VERY last sentence. You're welcome.

Imposter Syndrome: Unmasking the Hidden Struggle

Imposter Syndrome—it's a term that's become quite the buzzword event hough many would argue it's not even a real thing. Coined by clinical psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes in 1978, this phenomenon describes the internal experience of believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be. Despite evident success, those with imposter syndrome often feel fraudulent, attributing their achievements to luck rather than ability. This feeling is pervasive among high achievers, particularly affecting women and minorities, as highlighted in numerous Harvard and McKinsey publications.

And forgt about the publications - you know it, you discuss it with your peers, I certainly see it in my high performers ALL THE TIME. Its suprising who is plaugued with self doubt... but its not just about confidence.

people really get that wrong. its not about that at all - it's about a few things - but mostly its about having an external locus of control - the need to keep jusding yourself against outside standards.

The thing is, these standards are often made up, adn much much higher than what the external world ACTUALLY expects.

so it becomes a regulation error, not an emotional one... and most people JUST DONT GET THIS. and focus on all the wrong things, unintentionally making the imposter syndrom WORSE... or omre deeply HIDDEN.

So, why does this matter? Well, imposter syndrome doesn't just affect individuals at work; it seeps into personal relationships and even self care routines. High performers often struggle with self-doubt, which can lead to unnecessary anxiety and a a need to overcome reluctance to take on new challenges. This internal conflict can stifle creativity and innovation, key drivers of success in any field.

BUT EVEN WORSE - it is EXHAUSTING!!!!

So here are some more surprising "Underlying Causes of Imposter Syndrome"

1. Perfectionism: The relentless pursuit of perfection can lead to feelings of inadequacy when perfection is unattainable. Which of course it is - this is an error in expectations.

2. Family Expectations: Growing up in environments with high expectations can instill a fear of failure and a belief that success is never enough. It doesnt happen to everyone though - there is a unique set of circumstances that make one kid impervious to this and the other really falling victim to it - thinking that CAN be adjusted

3. Cultural Pressures: Societal norms and stereotypes can exacerbate feelings of being an outsider, particularly for those outside "traditional" roles and those who feel in the minority in a workplace

4. Comparative Success: Constantly measuring oneself against others can lead to feelings of not measuring up, even when success is evident. And int his case it becomes a quiet competition leading the big prize..self loathing.. yay!

5. Fear of Failure: The fear of making mistakes can prevent individuals from acknowledging their achievements, fostering a cycle of self-doubt. And this is actually the least of them, most peopel with imposter syndrom KNOW they probably wont fail -its not the fear of failure ... its the constant hyper alertness topotential REJECTION, MISUNDERSTANDINGS and EXCLUSION

And guess whihc population this is highly represented in? late diagnosis ADHD - somethign I know a little about, as part of my own journey to unvocer more about how such a high performer, nice person could be so smashed with anxiety ... this led me to find a range of techniquest that ACTUALLY HELP. because coaching the usual way, just doesnt work with ADHD and imposter syndrome. ANd now as a certified prcticing ADHD counsellor as well as being an exec coach.. finally there is a way through.

It helps with confidence, with prioritising, with strategising .... but it actually often makes imposter syndrome and especially in ADHD ....WORSE.

Have you ever wondered if you have this syndrome?

Self-Assessment Quiz: Do You Have Imposter Syndrome?

Answer the following questions to assess whether you experience imposter syndrome and its impact on your life. Rate each statement from 1 (Not at all true) to 5 (Very true).

1. I often feel like a fraud, despite my accomplishments.

2. I attribute my success to luck rather than my abilities.

3. I fear others will discover I'm not as competent as they think.

4. I downplay my achievements when discussing them with others.

5. I feel like I don't deserve the success I've achieved.

6. I compare my abilities to others and feel inferior.

7. I worry that I won't live up to expectations.

8. I have difficulty accepting compliments or praise.

9. I feel anxious about taking on new challenges.

10. I set excessively high standards for myself.

11. I experience self-doubt even after successful outcomes.

12. I feel like I need to work harder than others to prove myself.

13. I avoid seeking help because I fear it will expose my inadequacies.

14. I feel stress and anxiety about my performance at work or in social settings.

15. I believe others overestimate my abilities.

16. I am reluctant to share my ideas for fear of criticism.

17. I feel isolated and disconnected from my peers.

18. I experience frequent feelings of inadequacy.

19. I often feel like I'm "winging it" in my professional or personal life.

20. I find it hard to internalize my accomplishments.

Scoring: Add up your scores to determine the degree of imposter syndrome you may experience:

- 20-40: Low impact

- 41-60: Moderate impact

- 61-80: High impact

- 81-100: Very high impact

If you want to go it alone and start working on this, you could start with this list of things:

10 Steps to Overcome Imposter Syndrome according to highly respected people on the internet, in books and papers... (some of them are ok)

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: Recognize and accept your feelings of self-doubt as a common experience among high achievers.

2. Reframe Negative Thoughts: Challenge and reframe negative thoughts by focusing on your strengths and accomplishments.

3. Seek Feedback: Request constructive feedback from trusted peers and mentors to gain an objective perspective on your abilities.

4. Celebrate Successes: Take time to celebrate your achievements, no matter how small, and acknowledge your role in them.

5. Set Realistic Goals: Establish achievable goals and break them into manageable steps to avoid overwhelming yourself.(ps you will be crap at this! Just accept that !)

6. Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially when facing setbacks or challenges.

7. Connect with Others: Share your experiences with others who may feel the same way, and build a supportive network.

8. Develop a Growth Mindset: Embrace challenges as opportunities for learning and growth, rather than threats to your competence.

9. Limit Comparisons: Focus on your personal journey and progress, rather than comparing yourself to others.

10. Seek Professional Support: Consider therapy or coaching to explore and address deeper issues related to imposter syndrome.

BUT THE ABSOLUTE KEY IS THIS:

Work on your self identity. This is the key to change for good. It isnt an overnight thing, and you cant even put it into an article becasue the path for everyone is an individual one. but i guarantee... this is the path.