"Unlocking Your Potential: The Power of Emotional Intelligence and Self-Awareness"

We often hear “ignorance is bliss”[1], and “If one is unaware of an unpleasant fact or situation one cannot be troubled by it"[2]. Especially when the reality of a particular fact or a situation causes pain, we may agree that ignorance is bliss.

This perspective doesn’t hold good in all situations. In fact, a person needs to be aware of what is happening around in order to make decisions that are good for that person’s well being.

In as much as awareness of one’s own environment is essential for leading an orderly life and make decisions that create favorable conditions and circumstances; it is paramount that a person is aware about himself.

Abraham Maslow said, “What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself”.

The well acclaimed author of 7 Habits of Effective People Stephen Covey said, “In our personal lives, if we do not develop our own self-awareness and become responsible for first creations, we empower other people and circumstances to shape our lives by default”.??????

The observations by Abraham Maslow, one of the best human psychologists of our times and Stephen Covey, one of the best management gurus are very astute. These observations regarding awareness and self-awareness are so apt and they have far reaching implications.

A person’s awareness of self determines a person’s progress in life. A heightened awareness unlocks person’s potential; besides, increased awareness helps a person order and regulate self. Further a person’s self awareness mirrors before that person his own misgivings and inherent weakness and enable him to plan and overcome those and work on weaknesses.

Many in the world know these truths regarding self awareness and the significant role self-awareness plays in a person’s life and development. There are many approaches people take for the process of self discovery and it has been a topic for research in the last few decades. In addition to the empirical research based approaches, people also adopt many mystical means to become aware of themselves, often times these approaches are rooted in a person’s spirituality. Celebrated psychologists Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham invented a tool named after them which is called JOHARI window to help people understand themselves and others better. They use a quadrant which has four panes – OPEN, BLIND, HIDDEN and UNKNOWN. This tool is used for feedback in many work situations and also where there is human interaction. Using JOHARI window has great advantages and increases self-awareness.

Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer ushered in a new era in self-awareness through the concept of Emotional Intelligence. Author and science journalist Daniel Goleman through his book Emotional Intelligence has popularized the subject of Emotional Intelligence. These seminal works have defined emotional intelligence and elaborated on what emotional intelligence is and the relationship in heightening awareness.

Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer define Emotional Intelligence under four headings – Perceiving Emotion, Using Emotion to facilitate thought, Understanding Emotion and Regulating Emotion. Daniel Goleman describes Emotional intelligence under five headings – Self Awareness, Self Regulation, Motivation, Empathy and Social Skills or alternatively called Social Intelligence.

In summary and covering all the above aspects, emotional intelligence can be defined as the ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to?relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict.

As is evident from the works of Peter Salovey, John D. Mayer and Daniel Goleman on emotional intelligence and its definition, emotional intelligence helps an individual to explore and discover his inner self and gain greater awareness of self. It would not be incorrect or an exaggeration to say that emotional intelligence not only helps in awareness but takes it to the next level of heightening awareness. This awareness is both of self and also others.

An emotionally intelligent person identifies and evaluates emotions in oneself and others; this awareness helps an individual to understand the impact of these emotions on interactions and relationships. Emotional intelligence doesn’t stop at mere awareness; it goes far deeper in understanding the complexity of interrelated emotions and provides an understanding of the underlying causes and their potential impact. It helps an individual to reconcile with himself and his surroundings.

Emotional intelligence fosters empathy. An emotionally intelligent person who appreciates his own emotions and their underlying causes will be more willing and ready to accept others’ emotions as legitimate and be accommodative.

The awareness an individual has about himself, others and the acceptance of others’ emotions as legitimate has a transformational effect on relationships at work, in the family and neighborhood. It facilitates in regulating one’s own emotions and behaviors and aids in pre-empting potential conflicts. This deepened awareness allows an individual in taking appropriate measures in case these emotions have a debilitating effect on oneself, others and on relationships.

It is pretty safe to say that the level of awareness an individual has about self and others is directly proportional to the degree or level of emotional intelligence. Framed differently, emotional intelligence heightens awareness.

In this world of information overload and tight deadlines time is always in short supply. Individuals juggle with multiple things and jump from one activity to another. Under these circumstances, life becomes mechanistic; individuals do not get sufficient time to explore or discover themselves - their emotions, their underlying causes and impact of these emotions on themselves and their family and neighbors. The result is the inability to lead good quality lives. The cascading effect is to fail to unlock true potential and blossom. Apart from unrealized potential, the current state of lack of self-awareness has sociological consequences, lack of empathy, strained relationships and many more.

Charles Shulz the famous American cartoonist and philosopher said, “There is no heavier burden than unfulfilled potential”.

The reason for unfulfilled potential can be ascribed to lack of awareness and this lack of awareness is due to having a very low emotional intelligence quotient.

Warren Gamaliel Bennis, a pioneer in the contemporary field of leadership studies said, “Emotional intelligence, more than any other factor, more than I.Q. or expertise, accounts for 85% to 90% of success at work... I.Q. is a threshold competence, you need it, but it doesn't make you a star. Emotional intelligence can.”

Emotional intelligence breeds awareness; awareness – of self and others breeds success and makes you a star.

So where are you on the path of being emotionally intelligent?

[1] Thomas Gray "Ode on a Distant Prospect of Eton College", 1768

[2] Anonymous Proverb