Unlocking the Power of Personal Values

You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need! - Sir Mick Jagger

As we start the new year, I invite you to take an intentional pause, and ask what your Values are and to what extent are you living them each day. While it may seem like an occult question, but once answered, can become the true north star for all our messy life decisions like – what career to choose, how much money is enough, growth vs security , choosing a life partner, etc, etc.

So what are Values? Values are our innate drivers and motivators- what we are, and what we are truly driven by. Values are often relatively stable and enduring, and they are influenced by a variety of factors, including family, culture, religion, and personal life experiences. It is also important to know that there are no good or bad values. It is “ Our” values, unique to us, driving and motivating our day to day decisions. ?Examples of commonly called out values are – Money, Friendship, Art, Intimacy, Family, Security, Affiliation, Growth, Power, etc. Values are extremely powerful in defining our personality, who we are and what we stand for. They shape our priorities and guide our actions. When we are living our values, we feel a sense of authenticity and integrity. On the other hand, when we are not living them, we can feel lost and disconnected. Hence, the more aware?we are of our Values, and the more intentionally we live each day, the more harmonized & synchronized we become in our life and work decisions.

Unfortunately, in the white noise of myriad choices, peer pressure, and glitterati of the world around us, we easily lose touch with our Values, forgetting what we truly desire and what we truly need from our lives. This disconnect can lead to sometimes mis-aligned life decisions. For example, an individual deeply valuing Family and Security (as compared to Status and Money), will be in dissonance if the next career opportunity makes her to choose a different country away from her family. So in-spite of the great professional growth, there will be something amiss and dis-harmonised in her life. ?Peer pressure and distractions may temporarily make this seem like the best decision, but over time she may realise that she has drifted away from what she truly desires, viz being close to her loved ones every day.

Truly blessed are those who have deep awareness of their Values and are living them and getting guided by them. This awareness is forever work in progress, and through intentional practice each one of us can get close to understanding our own Values. Once aware, it can feel magical to use it as a lens for all life decisions.

I can suggest five possible ways to discover and identify one’s core Values :

1. Reflect on your life experiences: Take some time to reflect on your past experiences and think about what you have learned from them. What did you enjoy about them? What did you dislike? What did you learn about yourself? These could include things like honesty, integrity, family, community, and so on.
2. Explore your emotions: Pay attention to the emotions you feel in different situations. Your feelings can be a clue to your values. For example, if you feel a sense of satisfaction when you help others, then service may be one of your values
3. Think about what you stand for: Consider what you believe in and what you would be willing to fight for. What causes or issues are important to you? E.g. caring for environment, minimalism, etc.
4. Consider your role models: Think about the people you admire and why you admire them. What values do they embody that you admire? You may discover your affinity towards values like growth, altruism or adventure.
5. Take a values assessment: There are many online values assessments available that can help you identify your values. These assessments usually involve a series of questions that help you identify which values are most important to you.

The first four are excellent empirical, self-reflective ways, and combined with the fifth step, a lot can be discovered about ourselves. Two values assessment tools that I use often as a Coach are :

• Barrett Values Centre This is a free Personal Values Assessment tool with instant results and great self-work templates. ?TRY IT OUT!
• Hogan MVPI Tool : A very powerful self discovery tool as part of its Insights Report bundle. It is highly validated, and can be set up and interpreted by a certified assessor and coach.

Developing awareness of and living by one’s Values is forever work in progress. As you gain understanding of your Values, it is important to regularly review and reflect on them with every decision you make, and constantly align them with your current life and future goals. And as you become more and more aware of your core Values, the life decisions, big or small, become simple choices to make, and the north-star shines on!

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