Unlocking the Power in Empowerment

Every superhero has an origin story that answers a fundamental question. What is the source of their power? From strength to speed to invisibility, extraordinary power sets superheroes apart from ordinary people. In the real world, power has good and bad associations. Sometimes, power equals coercion or exploitation. But power also gives us the ability and agency to direct our own destiny and bring about our own happiness.

Power is the root word in “empowerment” and empowerment is the essence of Pitcairn’s work in family engagement. Through conversations, connections, learning, and self-reflection, we help family members find their own personal superpower and we help families find power in shared goals, values and history.

One of my personal role models is a woman named Mabel, someone I have never met, but whose story reminds me that we all have power. At eighty-nine years old, she had lived for 25 years in a convalescent home – alone, blind, nearly deaf, in frequent pain and bedridden, but mentally sharp. When a volunteer offered her a flower on Mother’s Day, she joyfully passed it on to another resident who, she explained, wasn’t blind and could enjoy it. Day after day, she lay in bed singing hymns. Mabel’s power was her spirituality, which let her be at peace despite her hardships.

I recently shared Mabel’s story with members of Pitcairn’s RisingGen Cohort, a group of adults preparing to be stewards of wealth and leaders in their families. In addition to managing financial capital, our peer group talked extensively about the need to develop all forms of family capital (human, intellectual, social, spiritual). I explained how Mabel’s spirituality resonates for me and we talked about everyone having power. I then offered some insights into the types of power they can harness as wealth owners.

The Power of Your Own Story

Every family has its own story, its own legacy. And though we are all part of our family’s story, we also have our own story. It’s important to reflect on the story you want to tell about yourself. When I was in business school, one of the requirements for graduation was that I write my own obituary. I had to think about my story up to that point and envision how I wanted it to unfold going forward. That exercise motivated me to actually live the story I want to leave behind. Years later, I interviewed a woman for a book I was writing about women of wealth. She was a multi-billionaire and as far as the world knew, her story was her fortune. Her perspective was very different, and she relished the opportunity to tell her story the way she saw it. Take the time to do the necessary self-discovery because there is real power in knowing what you want your story to be.

The Power of Curiosity

Be open to the power of questions. Curiosity isn’t usually perceived as confrontational or threatening. In fact, people typically admire it. So bring your curiosity to every conversation and situation. There are many reasons younger members of wealthy families may be reluctant to ask questions. They may feel like they don’t have the right to question family leaders because they didn’t make the money. They may be intimidated because they don’t understand financial strategy. But nobody is born a financial genius. Curiosity is the ideal state for learning. Being curious and asking questions lets you absorb knowledge in your own way and at your own pace. And knowledge is power. Remember, family leaders will not always be around. Don’t shy away from questions while the richness of their experience is still available to you.?If what you want to learn can't be simplified for your understanding, find another resource.

The Power of Community

Most of the young people in our RisingGen Cohort didn’t know each other when we first came together. In time, they became a community and found power in that engagement. Sadly, loneliness is becoming a more common experience among many younger people, including those with substantial wealth. In a Gallup poll in February 2023, one in four young adults between the ages of 18 and 29 reported being lonely. Studies from Harvard and Psychology Today also note concerning experiences of loneliness among young people.

As our recent RisingGen Cohort built relationships, I saw how a sense of community energized them. Many had never talked with peers about issues that were vitally important to them. These difficult topics became easier once they connected with each other and appreciated their common experiences and challenges. I encouraged them – as I encourage everyone – to find and stay with a community that energizes you and helps you feel part of something greater.

The Power of Pursuit

When we pursue a goal or a purpose, that goal or purpose acts as a beacon to help us choose our direction and determine our next steps. Without a purpose or goal to pursue, we may find ourselves unsure and adrift. Finding purpose, however, can be overwhelming, no doubt, but small steps focusing on what catalyzes action or interest for you is a great place to start. I enjoy coaching members of rising generations as they look for their purpose. Ultimately, though, they have to do the work. Everyone has to own their purpose and commit to a role in their family or community. The power of pursuit comes from trying and being intentional.

A woman recently told me that her family had a coach, someone like me, helping them be a more cohesive family. After a while, they thought they had everything together and stopped working with the coach. Soon, they also stopped purposefully pursuing life with each other. The woman’s siblings and cousins realized that if they weren’t purposefully doing the work, they weren’t going to enjoy the rewards of close family relationships.

The Power of Paying It Forward

Living with privileges that others don’t enjoy can sometimes spark feelings of unworthiness or guilt. Fear of not living up to preceding generations can make rising generations question whether they deserve the advantages earned by their parents or grandparents. These complicated feelings may make them reluctant to acknowledge their wealth. I like to remind them that wealth can always be channeled for good. Paying it forward in big ways or small ones helps family members feel at ease with their advantages and confident in their role as a steward of family wealth.

Tapping The Power Within

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Unfortunately, it’s human nature to fixate on our weaknesses. Thinking more about things we are good at lets us lean into our strengths to formulate our personal superpower. This leads me back to Mabel’s story. Most people looking at her life from the outside would consider it joyless, even unbearable. But she tapped into her power to live her life in a way that made her happy. I believe we are all called to empower ourselves as Mabel did.

As I noted earlier, empowerment is fundamental to how Pitcairn works with families. We understand that rising generations may have complex feelings related to wealth – from unworthiness to entitlement and the full range of good and bad emotions in between. Through positive discovery and active engagement, we help rising generations tap their personal power so they can build healthy, productive relationships with wealth while growing into the people they choose to be. ?

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