Unlocking Personal Growth: What My Freshman Diary Taught Me

4/11/2022

Dear Freshman year,

Wow, has this been a journey? I would have never thought it would have come to an end so soon. When I first got to college, I was all sorts of nervous. I felt that I was going to have a hard time making friends since the ones I knew I practically grew up with. I realized I was going to be okay when I moved into my dorm in Eringhaus with my roommate Eduarda Blaschke. We mingled with her high school friends and their suite and became great friends. Not only that, I got to find some amazing women who are my suitemates now. I have shared some highs and lows of this year. In the beginning, I was a little hard on myself. well, a lot hard on me. Adjusting from being online for the past two years to being thrown in with the wolves was a lot. I was overwhelmed at times and felt like I wasn't doing good enough. I didn't feel like I knew who I was yet, and I still don't.

A lot of days ended up feeling the same, and I didn't find my calling yet. I was a pre-business major and was stuck in an awful economics class. That we will laugh about later on. But I just felt a little stuck. I also was stuck finding people who showed interest in me for all the wrong reasons. And I'm still trying to figure it out but, I let go of those people and it has taught me many lessons from the experiences I have had. Many tears were shed, and we made a tally board out of it to keep track, which was pretty funny. I realized how important my mental health was, and I got a therapist named Dennisha, whom I love so much. She has made my second semester so much better. While the first semester wasn't perfect, I still had so much fun. I was able to attend some tailgates, go to gatherings where I was able to dance my heart out, make some amazing friends, and meet people from all over. In the second semester, I was able to pick things up more.

While I'm still not perfect by any means now, I was able to figure out that I wanted to be a media and journalism major. I have always had a passion for the beauty industry and I have looked into PR before but never really stuck with it. I found out they had an AD/PR major here at UNC and immediately switched over. I no longer had to take boring business classes and take economics. Wahoo. They have honestly been so interesting. I'm learning to become a better writer even though that is my most dreaded class and I have learned cool digital skills I would have never thought I would have been able to do.

I also learned to let loose more this semester. I didn't go out as much during my first semester. I had to take a lot more recharge days during my first semester, which is ok. But the nights I have gone out have been so fun. I love being able to spend them with Eduarda and my suitemates. I think the biggest takeaway I have learned from this semester is that you are the only person who has your best interest. I am grateful to have the support system of my friends that I do have but I know that being content in yourself is the most important thing at the end of the day. I had a friend once come over and say that he started to stop and smell the roses more often. I haven't done that this semester.

The best day I had in a while was waking up one morning to go to a coffee shop. I put on my oldies playlist and walked over to the coffee shop. I remembered what my friend said and looked at the buildings and all the details they had, admired the flowers starting to bloom on the trees, and looked at the people taking graduation pictures. All things I probably wouldn't have noticed if I didn't appreciate all that was around me. I wish I had done this sooner. This whole year flew by in a second. Time is a funny concept and I learned a lot about it in a seminar I took the first semester. College is going to be much like high school in the sense of time. I feel like we get so wrapped up in the little things that seem so large at the moment.

I wish I soaked up my freshman year a little bit more because now it's gone. Just like that so quickly. While I'm excited for my sophomore year of college, learning to do better and grow up and find myself, I will never be able to come back to a freshman year. A chapter of my life is starting to close and a new one will be opening up. I hope sophomore year only does good for herself. She will be a bit more organized and remember that she comes first above all people. But most importantly, she stops and smells the roses just a bit more.

Coming to the end of a chapter can be so bittersweet. I am looking forward to slowing down hopefully some over summer break, but I think I'm going to miss the chaotic mess that everyone feels during school. It's relieving to know that everyone is in the same boat as you. Were all just trying to hide it more than others. I also want to keep embracing myself more. My style, my thoughts, my intelligence. Broadening all aspects of myself so I can leave college knowing I shifted to another level. Well, I guess that's it. This was my freshman year. I hope that sophomore year will be the best and I will write this time next year…