Unlocking the Middle Finger Reflex: A Masterclass in Assertive Business Moves

Living in a town of 1,700 people with three traffic lights—one of which has been on strike since 1997—I pride myself on being a patient, mild-mannered driver. A friendly wave here, a polite "after you" there. It’s practically Mayberry on wheels. That all changed last night when I ventured into the concrete jungle of Manhattan and Brooklyn to take my daughter to a Zac Bryan concert.

Little did I know, I’d uncover a part of myself I didn’t even know existed. Let’s call it “Inner Asshole Vance.” And boy, did he come out to play.

Discovery #1: The Middle Finger Reflex

Back home, the only time I’ve seen someone use their middle finger was to count during bingo night at the church hall. But when a woman in a Mercedes clipped my side mirror and sped off as if she had diplomatic immunity, my hand shot up, and the universal salute of “You’ve Got to Be Kidding Me” made its debut. It wasn’t premeditated; it was instinctual.

For a guy who doesn’t even honk in his hometown (more on that in a moment), this felt oddly… satisfying. And here’s the kicker: it worked. She slowed down, probably because she wasn’t expecting an out-of-towner to fight back. That leads me to my first business lesson:

Business Lesson #1: Sometimes, you need to show the competition you’re not a pushover. In business, as in Bronx traffic, nice guys finish last. You don’t have to be a jerk, but you do need to assert yourself. If a competitor is stepping into your lane, clip their mirror first—figuratively, of course. Send a bold email. Launch a campaign that screams, “We’re here, and we’re better.” It’s not about aggression; it’s about respect.

Discovery #2: The Horn Works

Back in my quaint little town, I honestly thought the horn in my car was ornamental, like a decorative hood ornament. A relic of the past, meant for vintage Buicks, not practical use. But in New York, I discovered its true purpose.

At first, I was hesitant. Would people judge me for honking? Would I be seen as rude? But then, the guy in front of me sat at a green light scrolling Instagram. Something inside snapped. My hand hit the horn, and the glorious sound of indignation filled the air. He moved. I felt powerful.

Business Lesson #2: Don’t be afraid to make noise. How many times has your business sat in silence, waiting for customers to notice you? Guess what? They’re not paying attention. They’re scrolling, distracted by your competitors. You need to hit the horn. Send that email, post that ad, show up at their doorstep with an offer they can’t refuse. Be unapologetic about demanding attention.

Discovery #3: Adaptation is Survival

In New York, driving isn’t just a skill; it’s a sport. You either adapt or get left behind. I found myself weaving through traffic, timing my lane changes with the precision of an Olympic athlete. I had to think fast, act faster, and embrace the chaos.

Business Lesson #3: Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Your business will never grow if you’re afraid to pivot, adjust, or make bold moves. Maybe you’ve been avoiding social media because it’s “not your thing,” or you’ve stuck with the same pricing strategy for years because “it works.” Guess what? It doesn’t. The market is a lot like NYC traffic: unpredictable, aggressive, and unforgiving. Either adapt, or watch your competition zoom past.

Final Thoughts from the Road

As I crossed back over into the quiet, serene landscape of my little town, my adrenaline ebbed, and Inner Asshole Vance went back into hibernation. But here’s the thing: he taught me something valuable. Beneath the politeness and small-town charm, we all have a little grit waiting to be unleashed. Sometimes, that grit is exactly what your business needs to thrive.

So, next time you feel like the world (or a lady in a Mercedes) is clipping your mirror, remember: honk your horn, flip the bird (metaphorically), and assert yourself. Your business will thank you for it.

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