Unlocking Lasting Happiness: Embrace Fulfilment and Life's Complexities.

May marks mental health awareness month, a perfect time to explore the science behind happiness and how it intertwines with our well-being, Let us start with what happiness is; ?happiness can be described as a state of feeling joy, satisfaction, contentment and fulfilment.

?So, what brings you happiness? Is it a perfect cup of coffee, a serene hike, watching a sunset, or spending time with friends or family? While these things might seem momentary, they contribute to our overall sense of joy, and satisfaction.

Happiness means different things for different people; not everyone will find happiness in the same place. I recall seeing a short video from Gary Vaynerchuk, who once highlighted a guest’s contentment, fulfilment and happiness outside the use of social media and posting.

This showed me that happiness is not a one-size-fits-all solution but something to understand and discover personally. If happiness is so transient, how can we consistently achieve it?

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The Path to Consistent Happiness

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“By focusing on fulfilment, balancing emotions, and embracing life’s complexities we can cultivate lasting happiness and well-being.”

Research suggests to be happy a person needs to find fulfilment. Happiness is the byproduct of being fulfilled and finding contentment. In my experience with clients, finding fulfilment and contentment is pivotal in producing happiness and richness in life. In practice though it may be challenging to reach this state of fulfilment.

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Traditionally, positive psychology encouraged us to focus solely on positive emotions such as gratitude and optimism. This is still commonly practised within coaching and consulting. However, this approach can result in emotional distress and dissonance when we aren’t always able to achieve it, often we feel as though there is something wrong with us.

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Second-Wave Positive Psychology

Psychology and coaching are shifting toward a more balanced approach known as second-wave positive psychology. ?This new approach teaches us to value all emotions, derive strengths from challenges, and grow from our struggles — not just focus on victories and positive emotions. Evidence suggests that happiness and fulfilment follow from this nuanced perspective.

Cultivating Happiness and Fulfillment

So how do we do this? How do we build on fulfilment and happiness from this perspective? It is important to realise that how we think in the world should not be binary, it isn’t always black and white in our thoughts and behaviour. An example of this could be optimism, when we are overly optimistic, we may experience some risky behaviours and looking at negative states such as fear or anger may direct us to appropriate behaviour or lead us to positive change.

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“To be happy, one must find fulfilment — Happiness is the product of being fulfilled and finding contentment.”

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Here are a few steps to help us cultivate happiness and seek fulfilment:

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1.?Appreciate your emotions: Accept all emotions as guides to what we are dealing with and logically and systematically adjust our lives accordingly, not to chase any particular emotion.

2. Reflect on negative perceptions: Allow change in these areas, and reflect on how these perceptions can strengthen you and what you can learn from them.

3.?Context matters: Understand that the context in which an emotion or trait is beneficial or harmful matters. For example, optimism is great for motivation, but realism may be helpful in practical settings.

4.?Find a balance: it is important to understand how a balance of traits, ambitions and emotions works for you.

5.?Practice well-being:? You should prioritise your mental and physical health, and do the things you enjoy regularly.

6.?Embrace complexity: it is important to embrace the complexity of emotions and life. An example of this is love, love is enhanced by vulnerability.

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The research has shown that embracing these steps allows you to rewire your brain into optimism and resilience, both traits are fundamental in cultivating happiness and allowing yourself to find fulfilment and to be content in your circumstances.

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Conclusion

?Happiness is a deeply personal journey that involves understanding and accepting a wide range of emotions and experiences. By focusing on fulfilment, balancing emotions, and embracing life’s complexities, we can cultivate lasting happiness and well-being. This Mental Health Awareness Month, take the time to explore what happiness means to you and how you can foster it in your daily life.

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“Value all emotions, derive strength from challenges and grow from struggle — not just focus on victories and positive emotions.”