??? Unlocking independence: my story and tips!

How independent are you? Do you seek input from others to help you make decisions more than you’d like? Do you spend a lot of time second-guessing yourself?

Independence is one of the most critical competencies in Emotional Intelligence (EQ), especially for leaders. It means being self-directed and free from emotional dependency on others for guidance, reassurance, or validation.

Back in 2020, when I was going through a painful divorce, I scored very low in independence on the EQi-2.0 assessment. Looking back at the results, I realize how far I’ve come in embracing and nurturing my independence.

My 2020 results were clear:

?? I often sought advice, reassurance, and direction from others.

?? I craved approval, which led me to avoid bringing up alternative opinions.

?? Fear of making mistakes restrained me from taking risks, resulting in second-guessing my choices.

Does this sound like you, or someone you know?

I remember feeling vulnerable, always second-guessing my decisions, and avoiding risks because I feared failure. But this mindset held me back, both personally and professionally. As a leader, my team needed me to take charge, make decisions, and confidently guide them toward success.

? Fast forward to today, and I can proudly say I’ve turned the tide. I’ve designed a brand-new life for myself and my kids on my own terms and have come to love my independence.

I no longer need to be in a relationship to feel complete—a stark contrast from how I lived most of my adult life. After five years of fighting to find love in the online dating scene, my love life is finally stable. Finding happiness within myself has deepened my relationship with my new partner, as I no longer depend on him for constant support and validation.

And my relationship with myself is stronger than ever ?? I make my own decisions with confidence, trust my intuition, and no longer fear failure.

So, how can you boost your independence?

?? Trust your intuition: start by listening to your gut and acting on it. Even if it’s small decisions, trusting yourself helps build self-reliance.

?? Take calculated risks: mistakes are part of the journey. Take risks, knowing you’ll learn from them, even if things don’t go as planned.

??? Set boundaries: ensure that your decision-making is yours alone, without too much influence from others.

?? Practice self-validation: stop relying on external approval. Learn to validate your own feelings and decisions.

Independence isn’t just about making decisions. It’s about trusting yourself enough to live with the consequences, good or bad. It’s an empowering journey—and one that can truly transform your life and your leadership.

Can you think of anyone else who might benefit from my content? It would mean the world to me if you shared my newsletter with a friend ??

Lots of love,

-Anna