Unleavened Levity: A Passover Seder Quiz

By Bob Pomerantz

When the Seder starts dragging--and make no mistake, it WILL drag--this quiz will provide the comic relief required to make it over the hump of this LONG ritual dinner. 

1/ How did God punish the Israelites for worshipping a Golden Calf?

a/ Made them wander 40 years in the wilderness;

b/ Smote the disbelievers with lightning and a violent earthquake;

c/ Forbade them from eating bacon and other tasty pork products;

d/ Made them watch “Phantom Thread”.

2/Why do Jews open their front door during the Seder?

a/ Bubbie is wearing too much Chanel Number 5;

b/ To pay the pizza guy;

c/ To welcome the relatives on Jewish Time;

d/ To allow the Prophet Elijah to enter the home.

3/ The first of the Four Questions asked is:

a/ Why do all the desserts taste like matzah?

b/ Other than Zach Hyman, how many Jewish players are there in the NHL?

c/ Why is this night different from all other nights?

d/ PREMIER Doug Ford??!!

4/ Four glasses of wine are served because:

a/ They represent the four annoying relatives at every Seder;

b/ You need three to get a decent buzz on, one to spill on the white tablecloth;

c/ They represent the four, brown, mystery side-dishes served at every Seder;

d/ They represent the four promises of deliverance from slavery.

5/ There are 10 Plagues: Blood, Lice, Flies, Pestilence, Boils, Hail, Locusts, Darkness, Death of the First-Born; what plague is missing from the list?

a/ Type 2 Diabetes;

b/ Frogs;

c/ Donald Trump;

d/ The guest who insists on stopping the Seder every 10 seconds to ask riveting questions like: "What is the meaning of the celery sticks?"

6/ What famous words did Moses say to Pharoah?

a/ “Call me an Uber”;

b/ “Let my people go”;

c/ “What’s the thread count in Egyptian cotton sheets?” 

d/ “Oy, it’s hot today!”

7/ Ramses II is:

a/ An unreliable form of birth control;

b/ Better than Ramses I but not as good as Ramses III;

c/ The new Dodge truck for girly men.

d/ The Pharaoh who faced off against Moses.

8/Why is strong horseradish eaten during the Seder?

a/ It's cheaper than Sudafed;

b/ To kill the taste of the Manischewitz wine;

c/ It goes great with overcooked roast beef.

d/ To recall the bitter struggles of the Jewish slaves in Egypt.

9/ What does "L'shanah haba'ah biyerushalayim" mean?

a/ Next Year in Jerusalem;

b/ Next year in Mar-a-Largo;

c/ Next year marijuana will be legal.

10/ The word 'Seder' in English means:

a/ Suffering;

b/ 'Is it over yet?'

c/ Order;

d/ Jewish Christmas Dinner.

(Thanks to Robert Davis for assisting with this quiz).