Unleashing Your Unconscious: Think You Know Yourself Well? Think Again.

Do you ever feel like no matter how hard you try, certain patterns in your life just keep repeating themselves? Maybe you’re struggling with imposter syndrome, always feeling like you’re not good enough, even when you succeed. Or perhaps you find yourself constantly avoiding conflict, going out of your way to please others, even when it’s at the expense of your own happiness. As a leader, you might struggle with delegating tasks, holding people accountable, or having difficult conversations. Maybe you feel stuck in life, unsure of what you really want or how to move forward.

If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. These are all signs of something powerful at play — something that’s just under the surface, quietly guiding your decisions and actions without you even realizing it. This hidden force is your unconscious mind.

?The Unconscious Mind: Running the Show Behind the Scenes

?We like to think we’re in control of our lives — that we’re making decisions based on logic, values, and conscious thought. But here’s the surprising truth: 95% of our behaviour is actually driven by the unconscious mind. This means that most of the time, we’re on autopilot, reacting to situations based on patterns, beliefs, and assumptions that we may not even be aware of. If this idea feels uncomfortable or challenges your beliefs, that's okay. Take a moment here, and instead of resisting it, simply stay present with it.

?Think of the unconscious mind as the hidden part of an iceberg. What you see above the water is only a small part of the whole structure. Beneath the surface lies a massive, hidden body of beliefs, assumptions, emotions, past experiences and protective mechanisms that shape your behaviour.

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When you experience feelings of being stuck, unable to break certain habits, overwhelmed by self-doubt, avoiding tough conversations, it’s often because something in that hidden space is influencing how you react. Many of our “bad or unwanted behaviours” — the ones we wish we could change but struggle to — come from deeply ingrained unconscious beliefs, assumptions and mechanisms.

For example:

- Imposter syndrome can leave you feeling inadequate, and the reason behind this doubt could date to way back in your life and is not valid long ago.

- People-pleasing may feel like an unshakable need for approval, and that might be shaped by implicit past experiences where this behaviour was necessary for you to feel accepted and loved.

- Conflict avoidance might lead you to shy away from difficult conversations, and that could be some old invisible fears still influencing you.

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We don’t intentionally behave this way. In fact, many of us wish we could stop. But when these patterns are running the show behind the scenes, it’s hard to break free without shining a light on what’s really going on.

?You Can’t Fix What You Can’t See

?Take Emily, a successful lawyer who excels at her job but constantly finds herself overwhelmed and frustrated. People described Emily as the most hardworking person in the office. Despite her long hours and relentless effort, she’s always overwhelmed, struggles to delegate, and she could not find 15 minutes per week in her calendar for exercise. To fix these issues, she pushes herself harder—reading time management books, taking productivity courses—but nothing seems to stick.

?Eventually, things came to a head when Emily made a mistake that raised concerns with management. It wasn’t until she was required to attend a coaching session that she finally got the chance to pause and reflect. During these sessions, Emily uncovered a deep-seated fear of failure that had been driving her. The fear made her a perfectionist, compromising her ability to set boundaries. While it had helped her become the successful lawyer she is today, the more she pushed herself, the stronger her fear became.

?The problem? Emily is only addressing the surface—her behaviours—without realizing that deeper unconscious narratives and beliefs are driving these actions. These uninformed attempts not only did not cure, but further worsened the “disease”. Imagine trying to solve a puzzle without having all the pieces. It would be frustrating, right? You could try to force the pieces together, but without seeing the full picture, you’ll keep hitting dead ends. That’s what it’s like when we try to change behaviours or solve problems without understanding what’s happening in our unconscious mind.

?The good news is, once you start to explore what’s below the surface, you can gain clarity and understanding of the true origins of your behaviour - which eventually lead to genuine and sustainable change over your thoughts and actions.

?Becoming Aware of the Unconscious

?While fully diving into the depths of your unconscious is a more advanced and systematic process, which we’ll explore in future discussions, the first step is simply acknowledging its presence and power. Becoming curious about your recurring thoughts, behaviours, and reactions can start to shift the way you see yourself.

?Rather than trying to immediately "fix" your behaviours, you can begin by observing them with curiosity. Notice patterns that might suggest deeper influences at play. Notice your repeated thoughts and inner dialogue without the urge to change or control them. For now, the key is to understand that what lies beneath is just as important as what’s on the surface.

?The Beginning of Awareness

?Remember, the unconscious mind isn’t a bad thing. In fact, many of the mechanisms that drive these behaviours were designed to serve or protect you at one point in your life. They’re just outdated. The more you understand that many of your behaviours are being guided by unconscious drivers , the more empowered you become to make real changes in your life. Once you bring these hidden drivers into light, you can question them, challenge their validity, and consciously choose new actions that better align with your values and goals. While deeper work will be necessary to fully understand and harness its potential, awareness is the first piece of the puzzle, and it lays the foundation for everything that follows.

?So, what’s one thing you can do today to start tapping into that hidden part of yourself?Slow down. Step off the treadmill of your daily routine, even for just a few moments. The key is to observe your struggle with curiosity. Notice your thoughts, your reactions, and even your discomforts about it, without trying to change anything right away. This simple act of curious observation can be a powerful first step toward understanding your unconscious mind — and with it, the possibility for real, lasting change