Unleashing the Power of Adult Tantrums: A Neuroscience-Based Approach to Stress Management

Ever felt like throwing an epic tantrum when things don't pan out? Or noticed how stress clings to your muscles, stubborn as a shadow, long after your brain has darted off to the next thing? Well, after I took part in a 14-week brain-bending course in 2022 through the neuroscientific twists and turns of change, coupled with a fascinating chat on my podcast, I'd like to share some intriguing insights. Let's dive into the world where adult tantrums and mindful movements are used as a strategic tool. Ready to shake up the status quo of stress management?

Understanding Armouring: Physical Echoes of Emotional Stress

Drawing on one of the sessions by Amanda Blake, she shared insights into embodied memories and their impact on our stress responses; the 'movement, mantra, mood' technique offers a structured way to alter our physical and emotional states. Embodied memories, formed through repeated physical responses to stress, can unconsciously dictate our reactions to future stressors.?

The concept of "armouring" also intrigued me. Where our bodies physically manifest emotional withholding, a reaction influenced by societal norms and personal experiences. This armouring results in automatic reactions that may not serve us well.?

Stressful situations can imprint on our bodies this phenomenon where repetitive muscular contractions and responses in our connective tissue embed stress-related memories within us. The armouring process involves both our muscles and the more slowly responding connective tissues, which can trap us in physical states that reflect and reinforce our emotional defences. These contracted states can persist over hours, becoming habitual and deeply ingrained over time, indicating that the effects of stress can live in our muscles and tissues long after the stressful situation has passed.

Blake emphasizes the importance of recognizing and altering these embodied patterns through self-awareness and targeted interventions. By intentionally altering our physical responses through movement, reaffirming our goals and values with mantras, and consciously shifting our mood, we can change the narrative of stress in our bodies and minds. I’ll share how we can use the ‘movement, mantra, mood’ technique to help us transition into a more effective emotional and behavioural state.

The Power of Adult Tantrums

My dogs often rapidly shake their whole body after a stressful encounter. So do most animals. Ever wondered why?

These neurogenic tremors, originating in the nerves, are involuntary muscle movements that begin in the nervous system and are seen as a natural response to stress, tension, and trauma. These tremors can be understood as the body's attempt to cope with trauma by releasing some of the muscle strain caused by chronic stress, potentially aiding in the relief of stored trauma.?

Techniques like TRE (Tension and Trauma Releasing Exercises) have been developed to intentionally initiate these tremors through a series of movements to release tension and support overall mental well-being. This approach is not a standalone treatment but is considered complementary to primary treatments such as psychotherapy and medication, showing potential benefits in improving mental state, emotional positivity, and coping skills confidence.?

This is why I think Adult Tantrums can be a great tool…

Adult tantrums, contrary to their childish connotation, represent a controlled release of pent-up stress and emotion. A concept I was introduced to by Nikki J Owen on my podcast DECODING AQ . Unlike the uncontrolled outbursts of children, adult tantrums are a conscious choice to express and release emotional tension in a safe and private setting.?

During moments of intense stress or frustration, our amygdala, the brain's alarm system, can trigger an "amygdala hijack," flooding our body with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. This chemical cocktail primes us for fight or flight but isn't ideal for the nuanced demands of modern leadership.?

This process is supported by neuroscience, which suggests that expressing emotions can prevent the buildup of stress chemicals and lead to clearer decision-making. By acknowledging and releasing these emotions, leaders can prevent them from negatively influencing their professional judgments and interactions. This technique offers immediate relief and supports a healthier response to future stressors.

Step-by-Step Process for Effective Adult Tantrums

1. Recognition: The first step involves recognising and acknowledging the buildup of stress and the need for a release, setting the stage for a constructive adult tantrum.
2. Environment: Choosing a safe, private space where you can express emotions without reservations or fear of judgment is crucial.
3. Build up: Complete three fast open-mouth breaths, followed by holding your breath for about 20 seconds. This is to build up your energy for release.
4. Expression: In this controlled setting, allow yourself to physically express your stress, be it through shouting, stomping, or other physical expressions, in a way that feels cathartic. For me, very rapid arm movement in front of me, like hitting an imaginary punch bag, works super well!
5. Body safety reset: Next, place one hand on your heart and the other on your stomach. And slow your breath to a deeper, more intentional cycle. You can also choose to hold one wrist in your other hand if you prefer (Box breath 4-4-4-4 can help; 4 seconds inhale, hold for 4, then exhale for 4, hold for 4, and repeat).?Then say out loud, “I am safe, I am safe, I am safe”.
6. Reflection: After the tantrum process, taking a moment to reflect on the experience and its emotional effects helps understand the release and prepare for a return to equilibrium.

Implementing the 'Movement, Mantra, Mood' Technique

Having explored the cathartic release of adult tantrums, we naturally transition to the 'movement, mantra, mood' technique. This approach shifts our focus from the immediate release of pent-up stress to a more sustained strategy for reshaping our responses to stress. It's about moving from the raw expression of emotion to a more mindful, controlled approach, wherein we use intentional physical movement, specific empowering mantras, and mood modulation to rewire our reactions and foster resilience. This technique, grounded in the neuroscience of embodied memories, offers a transformative path from the aftermath of emotional outbursts to a state of balanced, proactive well-being.

The three simple elements can be completed in just 60 seconds. This practice can be used, repeately and deployed anytime you notice yourself getting triggered.

1. Movement: Choose physical movements that counteract your usual stress responses, such as stretching, sitting back, arms and chest open, to disrupt the cycle of embodied memories.Tips to select an effective movement: look at how you hold your body in a stressful situation. Are your shoulders up by your ears, are you leaning forwards or backwards, are you tense? Where are your arms? How do you hold your head, your hands? The best movement for this is to express the exact opposite and begin to re-wire the connections.
2. Mantra: Selecting affirmations or mantras that resonate with personal and professional aspirations helps in aligning actions and mindset towards these goals.Tips to select an effective mantra: What words describe you when you are stressed? What words would you use when experiencing a difficult situation? Again, the best mantra will likely contain the exact opposite.?
3. Mood: Focusing on cultivating a positive emotional state post-movement and mantra reinforces the shift from stress to a more centred, leadership-ready mood.

Combining Techniques for Strategic Advantage

When adult tantrums are followed by the 'movement, mantra, mood' technique, leaders can experience a comprehensive reset of their emotional and physical state. This combination allows for the release of immediate stressors through tantrums and the cultivation and re-wire for a long-term, resilient mindset through movement, mantra, and mood adjustments. Such a holistic approach can be particularly effective in high-stress situations, providing leaders with the tools to quickly recalibrate and approach challenges with renewed clarity and calm.

As we navigate life, the complexities of ever changing business environments, embracing innovative stress management techniques such as adult tantrums and the 'movement, mantra, mood' method can offer a strategic advantage. These approaches provide immediate relief from our body's overzealous biological reactions and foster a long-term culture of resilience and adaptability. Incorporating these techniques into your personal and professional routines can enhance your ability to navigate change, make informed decisions, and lead your teams with empathy and insight.

A reminder:

Adult Tantrums - offer a controlled outlet for the release of pent-up emotions and stress, effectively preventing the amygdala hijack and reducing stress-related chemicals in the body, thus restoring clarity and emotional balance.

The 'movement, mantra, mood' technique aligns physical actions with positive affirmations to disrupt stress-imprinted patterns in the body, fostering a shift towards more adaptive emotional and behavioural responses.

If you would like more insights on harnessing the power of adaptability and leadership in times of change, please follow me. I regularly share articles, tips, and techniques designed to empower leaders and individuals to master their bigger future.