Unleash Your Worth: How to Stop Settling for Less Than We Deserve

Within my circle, I am very fortunate to be surrounded by extraordinary individuals— those who radiate kindness, intelligence, compassion, humour, creativity, and undeniable charm. Yet, it pains me to see many of them doubting their worth and settling for less than they deserve. I often hear phrases like, “This job would be a dream, but I'll never stand a chance with so many applicants,” or “He/she is out of my league.” It upsets me to hear this, especially from people I care about. But why is it that so many of us settle for mediocrity, convincing ourselves that we are unworthy of the opportunities and people that captivate us?

Here is what I think.

We do it to cope with uncertainty and the fear of failure with less pain. By anticipating failure, we find it easier to handle when it arises.

This behaviour is especially common among those who don’t believe they have control over their own lives. They perceive life as something that happens to them, rather than something they actively shape. Consequently, when faced with anticipated failures, they simply acknowledge their expectations, accepting their circumstances as they are.

So, when someone says, “He/she is out of my league,” they protect themselves from potential heartbreak in the event of rejection. By convincing themselves not to even approach that person, they choose the comfort of unhappiness over the brief discomfort of possible rejection—or perhaps not, but they'll never know. The same applies to those who say, “This job would be a dream, but I'll never stand a chance with so many candidates.” They enter the interview with insecurities noticeable to the interviewer, and naturally, they miss out on the opportunity. Meanwhile, others, less qualified but radiating confidence, effortlessly secure the positions they desire.

By now, you likely get the point: dooming oneself to failure is not only unwise but also may work as a self-fulfilling prophecy. And you may have realised this before stumbling upon this article. Now, you're probably wondering how to break free from this unserving pattern of thinking.

It may not come as a surprise that fighting negative thinking involves cultivating positive thoughts. Let's explore some success-proven practices that will help on your journey to overcoming this ingrained pattern of thinking:

Emotional Cost Analysis: To change a pattern, we need to generate a strong emotion first, because emotions drive progress, and without them, it’s rarely possible to change anything. Knowing that, write down what your lack of self-worth has already cost you—the things you could have had if not for the limiting beliefs that keep you stuck. Then read them out loud and feel the pain, as pain is a very powerful emotion. Realise that by holding on to your negative thinking, the pain will only increase. This proves to be a very powerful technique for cultivating new behaviours that serve you rather than destroy you.

Recognise and Disrupt Patterns: After identifying what your limiting beliefs have already cost you, the next step is to recognise and disrupt these negative patterns. By challenging negative thought patterns and behaviours, you can break free from the cycle of settling for less than you deserve. Question the limiting beliefs and behaviours that undermine your self-worth, and replace them with empowering beliefs and actions. By breaking these patterns, you will cultivate a resilient mindset of self-worth, refusing to accept anything less than the best.

Make Use of Incantations: By employing incantations (similar to affirmations but delivered with more emotion and accompanying body language) to reinforce positive beliefs about yourself, you can boost confidence in your worth and abilities. This practice empowers you to recognise and acknowledge your value and refuse to settle for less than you deserve in various aspects of life, whether it be in relationships, career opportunities, or personal growth.

Practice Meditation and Self-Reflection: Engaging in meditation and self-reflection allows you to connect with your inner wisdom and values. By understanding your true desires and aspirations, you gain clarity on what you truly deserve in life. This self-awareness enables you to set higher standards for yourself and make choices that align with your authentic needs and aspirations.

Surround Yourself with Like-Minded Individuals: Being around supportive and uplifting people who share similar values and aspirations enhances the belief that you deserve the best. By surrounding yourself with positive influences, you are encouraged to pursue your goals and aspirations without settling for less. These like-minded individuals provide encouragement and support, empowering you to strive for what you truly deserve in life.

Changing long-standing beliefs isn't easy—it requires dedication and time. Yet, it's entirely possible, and once achieved, it transforms our lives in ways we couldn't have imagined. We deserve the best, and the moment we embrace that belief, life begins to align in our favour.