Unlearning to Find Ourselves:

In the journey of life, we often think of growth as a straight line - moving ever forward from childhood to old age. However, there's a more subtle and cyclical pattern at work. Our life's journey resembles not so much a straight path as a circle, returning us, in many ways, to where we began.

We start in childhood with a pure sense of self. Young children possess an remarkable clarity about who they are and what they want. They haven't yet learned to doubt their instincts or question their worth based on others' expectations. This natural state of being is our first experience of authentic selfhood.

As we move into young adulthood and middle age, we begin collecting. We gather not just possessions and achievements, but other people's ideas, expectations, and beliefs about how we should live. We layer these external voices over our own inner knowing. Career choices might be influenced by family expectations, lifestyle decisions shaped by societal norms, and personal values colored by our peer groups. This accumulation of external influences can gradually muffle our original, authentic voice.

However, something remarkable happens as we enter our mature years, typically around our forties and beyond. We begin a process of shedding - not unlike the way trees shed their leaves in autumn. But what we shed isn't physical; it's the weight of others' expectations, the accumulated "shoulds" and "must-dos" that we've carried for decades. This shedding brings us full circle, returning us to a state that mirrors the authenticity of childhood, but with the added depth of wisdom and experience.

This return to authenticity isn't regression; it's progression to a higher form of self-knowledge. Like childhood innocence but tempered by experience, this mature authenticity allows us to stand firmly in who we are while maintaining the perspective gained through years of living.

The beauty of this cycle lies in its completeness. We don't just return to where we started; we arrive with the richness of everything we've learned along the way. The opinions and ideas we collected weren't wasted - they were necessary steps in our journey, teaching us what resonates truly with our core self and what doesn't.

In this light, aging becomes not a process of loss but one of refinement. We're not losing our youth; we're regaining our essence, enhanced by the wisdom of experience. This understanding offers a profound new way to view life's journey - not as a straight line leading to decline, but as a circle leading to completion.