UNLEARNING

How do we begin to unlearn the key things we've been taught since we were younger?

This question recently became personal when my new boss called me into his office to ask me not to explain something to a guest. Instantly, I felt a resistance within me. For years, I’ve honed my skills as a compassionate educator, dedicated to explaining things thoughtfully. It’s not just a professional trait but a deeply ingrained part of who I am.

In my volunteer position, I was chosen for my personable nature, my ability to offer good energy, and my knack for creating an inviting space. Customers trust me; they seek me out for conversation, answers, and guidance. My skills in connecting with people stem from two main sources: a desire to make others feel heard, born from my own experiences of feeling misunderstood and stifled, and my lifelong identity as an educator. Teaching in various contexts—domestically and internationally, in dance, English, and aftercare programs...learning how to relate to kids, teens, pre-pros, professionals and adults —has equipped me with a wealth of knowledge that I can’t simply unlearn.

UNLEARNING is crucial for adaptability and learning from others, especially those in higher positions or with different skill sets. It’s also part of reaching a healthier mental state. However, I, like many others, struggle with the idea of unlearning positive attributes to cater to the needs of those who have power over our lives and well-being

How do we unlearn behaviors that foster positive outcomes to conform to others' expectations? How do we navigate the internal conflict of silencing our authentic selves? My new boss doesn’t know my backstory or the impact I’ve made as a teacher.?

So, again I ask:

How do we unlearn? How do we hide our accomplishments when we should be proud of them? This might seem trivial—after all, it’s a volunteer job in South Korea.

BUT

is it really that simple to just comply?

If you were in my position, what would you do? How would you handle it?

~ deeply