United by Love, but separated financially - Marriage

Marriage is the single biggest financial decision you will ever make. Not your wedding! Not buying a house!! Your Marriage.

I chose this topic to talk about because it's alarming for me to see how many people get into marriage without achieving full frontal financial nudity. I mean it is important to know ins and outs of your future spouse's finances and involve in complete disclosure of financial goals and money beliefs no matter how you plan to handle your marriage but it's important to get on the same team as soon as to-be-married couple.

Should a wife-to-be consider how she could protect herself financially - especially if she already has substantial savings/ investments and other assets established?

The answer is a loud "YES!"

When people marry, one of the first things they often do is open a joint chequing account. In addition, credit cards may be opened jointly and buy a house together. There is nothing necessarily wrong with doing this as long as your ideas about finances coincide. This is not to say that marriage only affects the woman in this way. It affects the man in the same way. After all this is a union in all senses.

Many modern marriages have 3 banking accounts: The joint account and 2 individual accounts. But in my theory, a couple must have 4 banking accounts:

• 2 joint accounts - one for paying all joint bills, home mortgage, utilities, property taxes or income taxes. and other one is joint family/couple saving account for house repairs, upgrading furniture or fixtures or family vacation.
• 2 individual chequing accounts - to experience personal financial freedom especially when you are already experiencing individual financial freedom before marriage.

LOVE is a powerful opiate, when entering marriage, overlooking different financial views is DANGEROUS.

Finding out the spending habits and saving habits is a very emotional subject for many people, especially the one who has nothing and who brings nothing financial to the marriage. The standard argument is predictable: once married, everything should be equal rather than "yours" and "mine'. Guilt seems to be the best argument, "If you really loved me, you wouldn't ask me to say something so cold".

Oh Pleaseeeeee !! uurhhh !! (I wish you could see my eyes rolling.)

When sharing life and finances with your partner, honesty and open communication is vital to a successful union. However, Financial Infidelity is more common than you may think. According to CNBC, 3 in 10 couples have experienced financial infidelity in past 12 months alone that's 43% of adults admit to it.

"Financial Infidelity occurs when couples with combined finances lie to each other about money." Concealing any financial information from your partner, including hiding evidence of making any purchases, is a lie.

(If you like me to cover this topic "Financial Infidelity and "Grey Divorce" in future articles, please leave a comment below)        

How confident are you that your marriage will adapt to the changes in life and finances that come during or after retirement?

I have seen conversations about things like, "Where are we going to travel?" But they don't really get into the details of living day-to-day life. Failing to communicate how to handle a major life transition like retirement can test even the most solid relationships. Even a positive change like freedom of time or spending time together without kids puts stress on a relationship.

The 2022 edition of the Annual Horizons Retirement Survey shows:

• In 2012, 73% were greatly confident their marriage would adapt to retirement. 26% were somewhat confident and 1% were not confident at all.
• In 2022, only 49% are greatly confident, 45% are somewhat confident and 6% are not confident at all.

Romance is similar to a business partnership as soon as you cohabitate. Here are some of the steps how you can be confident in your marriage.

Step 1: Managing finances means managing emotions and feelings: Partners have to ask themselves and talk to each other about what they want from the relationship and how pre-relationship or post-relationship obligations will be handled.

If you have children from previous relationships can often present the issues. In late-life cohabitation or marriage, duties of care should be clear. The main question to ask is whether the primary financial responsibility is to your partner or to your adult children.

Creating a will and a trust can work the same as a pre- or post- nuptial. Remember that relationships with stepchildren take time; issues associated with stepfamily can take five to seven years for families to reach equilibrium. But the financial obligations and priorities should be made clear from the beginning.

Step 2: As your feelings are processed, construct a Budget: I'm not a fan of budgets and neither inheritance and favor more inter-vivo transfers instead - giving while you're living. However, incorporating kids into the monthly budget and savings decisions makes obligations transparent for everyone.

Step 3: Address long term care risk: About 20% of people over the age of 85 need long term care. The risk of caring for a partner with physical or mental weakness is increasing as longevity of human race is increasing. Insurance is usually the answer to tail risk as private long term care in Canada is too costly. Being each other's financial and health care power of attorney helps protect both partners when one becomes incapacitated.

So, whether you do it on your own, just the two of you, or turn to someone else for help, learn now, stress less later. After all, marriage is a coming together of two people, and taking time to learn about their finances and planning will help pay for their dreams for their future.

Thank you for reading. If you like the article, share with your friends and peers on LinkedIn. It will give me encouragement to write more.

I'm looking to work with 5 females before the end of December who are serious about changing their financial outlook in coming year.

Let's connect!!

Writer: Komal Kaur

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