The Uniquely Compelling Quality of Dr Nancy Zare

When Nancy was ten, she lived in a combustible environment. Her father was, in her own words, a “rageaholic” and her mother “coped as best she could with it, but sometimes she would respond in kind.”?

One day, Nancy sat her parents down and asked each to tell her what was wrong, inviting one to speak and then the other, while resolutely not allowing interruptions. Although she didn’t know the word at the time, she was staging a ten-year-old’s version of an intervention.??

She wanted them to get along better.

Nancy noticed they both used very different language, so at the end of the conversation, she translated the messages she’d heard, telling each parent what the other wanted. She turned to her mother and made it clear that her father yearned to be respected and to her father, she explained that her mother needed to feel loved.

That’s a very impressive ten-year-old.

Her parents are not alive to tell us why they were prepared to go through this mediation. Maybe it was the sheer weight of unhappiness that drove them. However, as I tuned in to Nancy as she was telling her story, her uniquely compelling quality was clear. She’s a big-hearted connector of people with a powerful intellect and a gift for being able to hear underneath the words and translate what people are saying.

I have no doubt her parents, at some level, recognized this and wanted that gift to try and find a solution.

Today, it’s something Nancy uses to help people grow their businesses and make sales.

I think we all find it fascinating when someone has been down a similar path to us. We can compare notes.?

Nancy and I shared a common journey.

The dynamics of her family life, all that rage, left their mark on Nancy and she shut down her feelings and retreated to her powerful intellect. She said, “I didn't even have names for what it was that was going on.” “Emotions seemed to be messy and fraught with obvious conflict.” This led her to academic success and the recognition that followed. However, there was a cost because it left her embodied intelligence untended.?

We are, after all, designed by nature to work in harmony between body and mind.

My childhood, for different reasons, also caused me to shut down emotionally. I too turned to the seemingly reliable and predictable qualities of the intellect. Who wants emotions when you can have logic?

The problem is that emotional sensitivity is a two-way street. In numbing yourself to the painful stuff you filter out more than that. So, the result is you block out everything, and that deprives you of so much.?

To feel alive we must first feel.

What interested me, (even though Dr Nancy is much more academically successful than I) was that we both found our way back to our emotions via the same route. Ironically, the intellect played a role. For me, the journey home towards my feelings was both gradual and abrupt. A gradual quest to open the heart followed by an aha moment, when an experience didn’t match my understanding of what a feeling was supposed to be. My intellect not only couldn’t deny what I’d felt but it also demanded more information. That triggered a life-changing exploration of what a feeling is, where it can take us, and what the limit is of what can be felt.

For Nancy, it was more of a gradual unwinding.?

There was no specific incident, she explained, “Just lots of bumps and bruises along the road and an opening to look within and find answers”.?

Once the door is ajar our feelings invite us to a wider range of experiences. Included in that are the higher aspects of us and life. If we are blessed, a comic carrot will drop into our laps and we’ll feel something of the divine.? That in turn will inspire us inward toward the magic of our true nature.

The benefits of this are personal and many.?

What I could pick up with Nancy was that she was now at home in her emotional body and able to bring her emotional intelligence and brain power into harmony with each other. And today she harnesses that power to help people understand the four different personality styles we have.?

Her insight is to unlock the potential of this to give us an edge when it comes to marketing.?

Whatever your style or combination of styles, it will shape not only how you buy but also how you sell. Understanding this will help you communicate better, meet the needs of your clients, and also find those who are most compatible to work with.

For more information on Dr Nancy Zare at linkedin.com/in/nancyzare