The unique skills of the great interview: Now needed by us all?

I have written many posts over the years regarding ways that salespeople could benefit from listening to some of the great interviewers of the past and the present. I typically wrote about Sir David Frost, simply because I was fond of his style and his way of asking questions. I used to play a video of his interview with George Michael to demonstrate what great questions look like. But recently, with the death of Larry King, it seemed appropriate to revisit the topic and draw some more lessons for not just salespeople, but all of us.

While I was watching many of the tributes that were put together in remembrance of Mr. King there was a scene of him speaking with journalism students about the secret of being a great interviewer. He shared the following points that he believed created the right mix for a successful interview with a big-name personality.

·      First, to remember that any interview was not about him.

·      Secondly, he refused to utilize the first person and say “I” when he was interviewing someone.

·      Third he focused on not talking and only listening and responding.

·      Finally, he stressed the importance of making the person feel comfortable so that they would share their inner most thoughts and feelings.

In thinking about this I recognized that not only do salespeople need to utilize these four tips and imitate people like Sir David Frost and Larry King; everyone in business could learn much from their example. Everyone that is a boss, or a worker could use them. Parents and kids could benefit. It could be said with some certainty, that we have a shortage today of listeners! Whether you are a CEO or a front-line employee you can ask yourself if your interactions, conversations, and discussions within your company, are too often focused on yourself. Do you too often resort to the first person? How many of your concerns are written from the perspective of how you feel or how you perceive things to be? How comfortable are you able to make the people you engage with feel - do they open up or do they stay closed?  

Why is listening, particularly great listening in such short supply? I do not know, I am not a sociologist, nor a psychologist and the answer probably can be found in those two areas of expertise. I do however recognize what I see happening around us all. I recognize that with all the progress in technology and digital capabilities we have lost some of the skills that former generations were forced to master.

·      Conversation skills is one, and listening is part of what we would call conversation skills. Today with the use of texting and email as our primary forms of communication we tend to switch listening on and off. Furthermore, we are even then not actually listening – we are reading, and those two processes physiologically are vastly different. Additionally it is very common today for people to "multitask" while they are having a "conversation" with someone else - don't you always see people simultaneously on their devices?

·      We are always in a rush and we often seek expedience over quality. Listening and responding requires more time and effort than we are used to exerting in our relationships.

·      We undervalue the human connections that used to be so important. The scene of a family all in the same room and all using their independent devices comes to mind. Have you tried shaking hands with a teenager lately – they look at you as if you are from Mars and they often do not even know what a good handshake feels like?

Even with this being the current circumstance there is an opportunity. If we can develop the habit and the skill of listening, we stand out in the world. People are starving for a person to listen to them. This by the way is not just me longing for antiquated practices or being old fashioned. Modern thought leaders that I admire very much like Gary Vaynerchuck and Simon Sinek regularly talk about the importance of listening. This post might have arrived too late to make your new year’s resolution list, but it isn’t too late to start listening. I hope you hear and understand what I am saying. ??