The Uninvited Guest

How is your new year going so far? Lots of things happening for me right now which is wonderful and also creates a breeding ground for my uninvited guests to show up.?

Not sure what I'm talking about. Don't worry.?We'll explore this together?in this week's?SWAGGER Sense.?

So there I was in front of a room full of women giving a talk the other week, when I felt my heart begin to race, my temperature rise, and a?nervous sensation in my gut.?

All of a sudden, I felt like I was being judged by everyone in the room. The voices in my head were vicious and started in with their questions to feed into and fuel my fear.?

"What if they don't think I'm good enough or smart enough to be up here speaking in front of them? What if they don't resonate with what I'm saying? What if I fail and my message doesn't land?"

Any of these sound familiar?

Have you ever experienced this before?

It can be debilitating and completely derail us if we let it.?

These thoughts are our self-limiting beliefs and they are what I call the uninvited guests. They don't care how intelligent, successful, or wealthy we are. They're not picky. They show up regardless.

It doesn't matter if you have security checking names and invitations at the velvet ropes. They'll arrive at the most inopportune times and say, "Oh I'm sure that I'm on the guest list. I'm really close friends with the host. If you just let them know that I'm here, I'm certain they'll give you the green light to let me in."

The problem is that they are often right. We do let them in and they wreak havoc on our party and our lives.?

The only reason our self-limiting beliefs have any power at all is because we keep inviting them in. But here's the thing, we have the power to place them on the "do-not-admit" list.?

One of the most significant findings in psychological research over the past few decades is the fact that we can choose how we think. I know, right? Crazy and a bit mind-blowing isn't it?

There are a couple of things to remember when it comes to our self-limiting beliefs. They are just that, beliefs. They are not facts or truths. We have simply come to believe them over time.?

The more we feed into them, the stronger and more powerful they become and the more they create self-fulfilling prophecies.

If we keep telling ourselves we're no good with finances,?chances are we'll find ourselves constantly struggling with money issues. If we keep telling ourselves that we're undeserving of love, we might find ourselves in one unhealthy relationship after another.?

We can choose not to feed into these self-limiting beliefs. We can choose to stop letting them in and refuse to allow them to?sabotage our lives.

I'm a recovering perfectionist which you've likely seen me talk about before. These perfectionist tendencies cause my self-liming beliefs to show up as they did the other day when I was getting ready to?give the talk I was hired to do.?

You see, our self-limiting beliefs are born out of fear and usually form to protect us from getting hurt.?

This time, I was ready. I did not allow my self-limiting beliefs in. They were muscling their way to the front of the line to be let in and I stopped them in their tracks. I employed a winning strategy to overcome my self-limiting beliefs and you can do the same.?

I call this winning strategy REP, like doing reps in the gym. However, in this case, each letter represents a step in the strategy.?

The Winning Strategy - REP

Step 1: R -Recognize

Before we can put our self-limiting beliefs on the 'do-not-admit" list, we must first recognize when they show up. For me, I noticed my heart rate?change, my temperature elevate, and that nervous sensation in my gut.?

Becoming more aware of what happens to our bodies when they show up will help us catch them at the door before they're allowed in.?

Step 2: E - Evaluate

The second step is to evaluate their claims. Remember that these are only beliefs. They are not statements of fact or the truth.?

We get to become like the trial attorney in our favorite court drama. We get to ask our self-limiting beliefs, "What facts do you have to substantiate your claims?"

For example, am I really an idiot? Well, actually, there are numerous occasions where I've proven that not to be the case, that I'm quite intelligent.?

In my case, I had to remind myself of my vast knowledge and expertise. I had to reinforce the fact that companies from all over the world have paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for my leadership and personal development experience.?

Step 3: P - Pivot

The third step is to pivot and create a new talk track that enables us to move forward more productively.?

For example, if our self-limiting beliefs were saying, "I'm no good at that." We might pivot and instead say, "I just haven't acquired the skills to be good at that yet."

In my case, I told myself that what I had to offer was?incredibly valuable and that I was there to deliver the message. I?wasn't in control of how the audience responded or what they chose to do with the information I provided.?

I share this with you to let you know that you're not alone. I work on my SWAGGER and live it daily. Even with all of that work, my self-limiting beliefs still show up from time to time.?

Now, just like me, you can be armed and ready when yours come to the door. You can employ this winning strategy and send them on their way.

We would never allow anyone to speak to people we love and care about the way our self-limiting beliefs talk to us.

It's time to stop letting our self-limiting beliefs keep us from achieving the greatness we're capable of.?

It's time to get out of our own way and realize our full potential!

Jennifer?

P.S. If you'd like to learn more about overcoming your self-limiting beliefs, make sure to get your copy of?Claim Your SWAGGER?today. In it, I'll provide you with activities, daily reinforcements, and more strategies like this one to help you step into the role as the leader of your life so you can learn to thrive regardless of what life puts in your path.?