An Unintentional Racist

I had a close friend who enjoyed engaging restaurant wait staff in conversations about themselves. On occasion, after speaking with the person for a while, she would then ask, “And, what is your real job?” Although the question always made me cringe, I never corrected her. 

Her question is identified as a microaggression – “…an everyday verbal, nonverbal and environmental slight, snub or insult, whether intentional or unintentional, which communicates hostile, derogatory, or negative messages to target persons based solely on their marginalized group membership”.  The definition goes on…”In many cases, these hidden messages may invalidate the group identity or experiential reality of target persons, demean them on a personal or group level, communicate they are lesser human beings, suggest they do not below with the majority group, threaten or intimidate, or relegate them to inferior status and treatment”.[i] 

The thing is, this woman was not a bad person. Over the years, as a nurse, she worked tirelessly with patients of all races, ethnicities, gender, sexual orientation, and ages - always doing her best to assure the highest level of care possible. She was kind, funny, at times self-effacing, and compassionate, often going above and beyond where others might not. 

As a child, it was not luck that my father moved the family to a small university town. Savings from his job, and a limited inheritance allowed him to make a down payment on a house to get a mortgage. The town had good K – 12 schools. We walked or rode bikes to school and lived in a safe and nurturing environment. Although not wealthy, our family lived comfortably. As my father completed only one year of college, there was one hard and fast “rule” in our household - complete college. The rule was never questioned. 

In our town, there was an avenue that distinctly demarcated neighborhoods – the more and less expensive houses. Those well-kempt, and others dilapidated, and relating to their corresponding color of skin.  I never asked why.  

Schools in the town were racially integrated and students enjoyed good teachers, strong academic and athletic programs, and often, the schools ranked highest in the state and nationally.  From this vantage point, it was easy to assume that others must also have had similar experiences. After all, we all had the same opportunities. I never checked whether this was true.     

Now, many years later, as a health professional who studies and teaches health equity, social determinants of health, and the underlying policies that continue to favor structural racism, there are hard questions to be answered. In the last 3 months, COVID-19 infection and death rates segregated by race, and the unjust killing of a black man as an exemplar of our policing methods, deep-seated, longstanding, and unresolved anger is once again exposed. We are awakening to the roles many of us have unintentionally played in allowing institutionalized racial injustice to thrive. Instead, we have chocked up our successes to our own hard work, as it is easier than questioning our complacency and dealing with the uncomfortable truths.

[i] Derald Wing Sue Ph.D., “Microaggression: More than just Race”; Accessed 6/17/20 online at: https://www.uua.org/sites/live-new.uua.org/files/microaggressions_by_derald_wing_sue_ph.d._.pdf